On complaining

Ok, see...

I am pretty sure that some of my loyal readers know very well how much I complain about my writing. And, I’m pretty sure that they are sick of it.

Most of them are so nice and tell me positive things about my stories. They say that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself... that I’m pretty good... and yet I keep complying so. ing. MUCH.

Almost seems like a cry for attention. Which I wish was the case.

I wish I really truly just wanted attention. 

Truth be told, I’m stressed. I want to get better but the process is so excruciating and frustrating slow, that I keep falling back on less refined methods of calming down my own self. 

And thus... complaining.

While I can’t deny I need some level of recognition to keep my motivation to write, it’s definitely not my main driving force. After all, I’ve been writing for a looong time and... not always to raging reviews. Haha. Oh boy... let’s not dwell any longer on that.

Which brings me to my next point... why do I keep writing AND even promoting my work if I think it’s so bad?

Well...

I used not to, you know? I used to naively hope that I could be like one of those awesome authors whose works are SO INSANELY GOOD that they get recommended by others and thus they don’t need any promotions and then everyone rushes to read and celebrate all their stories and... sadly... I am not that person. I’m just not that awesome.

Which is fine. 

So I post. And promote. And post.

How else am I to improve if nobody reads what I write? Sure it’s just fanfics but I like fanfics. And maybe I can get some original stories out of all this chaos.

So there we have it. A long post with barely anything to hold this all together. 

So why do I keep complaining? Because I’m not satisfied with my writing yet. I know I lack words, I know the flow is awkward at times, I know I am deeply ashamed of some stuff that I write and yet...

Thanks for sticking around ❤️

Comments

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_cucina_
#1
How could we not stick around tho. This post is just so very relatable, and I just want to give you a hug.

It's good to complain. I do it all the time, and I know you already know that but I think a lot of people do too... which makes it fine. We can whine in turns. And stick around.

And regarding talent, hey maybe that's not the case, and maybe you're just on the edge of being discovered. Writing is a funny thing, and art is weird, and people's tastes change. What is even good, or perfect? It's all so vague. And you're one of my favourite okay, sure I might be biased, but I still count. And you keep updating constantly with good content, and people who do comment appreciate it too... SEE I'M AWKWARD AND UNSURE ABOUT WHAT TO SAY TOO AND LIKE I'm super late to comment here.

But since I can't hug you in person I'm trying with words ;-;
HANG IN THERE I'M CHEERING!! ♥️♥️♥️ Ok not just me. Ok stop. The end. Tadaaa. Please feel better. Bye.


Edit : Just saw the comments and heck SEE PEOPLE LOVE YOU YOUR WORKS TOUCHED US OKAY ok maybe not that dramatic but you get my point ;-;
NCTNCity27
#2
I genuinely enjoy reading your stories and trust me, you are good. But, what makes it better is that you are still improving. Reading your stories makes my day. Your writing has a nice humorous undertone to it but it's not overdone and I love that. You can be serious when the story demands so and that is also something I love about your writing. It's normal to complain when you feel stressed and putting up with it and cheering you up is the least we can do in exchange for you wonderful stories and the work that goes into them.
abad-ini
#3
Please don’t doubt yourself dear. You are one of the best yunjae fanfic authors that we have <3 your stories always make my day. All of your stories are awesome. I really really love it soooo much Alice <3
YennyChusna
#4
When you doubt yourselves, I put my firm belief in YunJae fics on your shoulder
When you hate your stories to the hell, they are my heaven breeze
When you find the story flows weirdly, I think of it as the charm of the story
When you think you have limited words to express, I grow confident in becoming translator because I am fascinated with new words and new way to narrate things in English, and it is because of fanfic authors like you
When you distaste your skills, please know that I look up on you

I truly understand your ever growing need to improve your writing skills. Please contact some fic authors who are still active just like colpodi_fulmine, heeprosidiac, and many others and have some sharing session maybe? I think it will boost up your skills and confidence.

Love you from the bottom of my heart, Habi (although you only have eye on Cucina and chinchilla :D)
Rainypixy #5
I think it’s completely normal to complain when you feel down or stressed. The thing I cannot figure out is why are you complaining about complaining?! No matter what your profession is, there are always some people who are better. Even when you do something as your hobby, whether it’s writing, painting or just doing yoga. I think the main problem as I told you before is your utter perfectionist personality. It makes you more sensitive about details to the point that you might feel inadequate or frustrated sometimes, but you shouldn’t let that pull you down. I won’t repeat myself by saying those wonderful comments about your new attitude towards for example the werewolves stuff or how you see divorced couples in a new light ( which of course you can see for yourself from the number of subscribers or upvotes even when they didn’t know it was you, duh!), I simply state that you should put more trust and courage in your new ideas. Write out of your comfort zone, discover new boundaries. So what the hell if some won’t like it?! And is it some kind of rule you put upon yourself to write the way everyone likes?! No, cause I know you. It’s your choice and yours only. If the outcome is not good we’ll be here to complain and you’ll be here to expand your experience through our complaints. And is it not true that writing will improve through the hardest experience and harshest criticisms?! I strongly believe that you will achieve the highest through these fics and someday you’ll write a novel, not about yunjae but a strong piece of life one, cause although I love your werewolves and all, your angst of daily life of couples, describing their emotions and thoughts surpasses those addictive supernaturals and can make every readers’ heart beat out of its cage.
Just be yourself “ and then a hero comes along with the strength to carry on, and you’ll finally see the truth that a hero lies in you!” :)
turyka #6
I really love ur stories , i really want to promote but irdk dunno how to do it.
I wish I can write like u .. 5ting!!!!
amarante7
#7
I disagree you are that awesome ^^. I believe you are a great writer. And you encourage me to write. Although it probably wont see the light of day haha. Your Yunjae fics to me are unique. You don't do the regular cliches and when I see an update of a new story from you...❤ I know it will be something different and entertaining. You give them that real edge. Its refreshing. Trust me I reread them on the regular. If you ever do release a book. I will definitely be there to support. I LOVE YOUR WRITING! Complain all you want its human nature. You will always be your biggest critic. But know this you are an amazing writer!❤ I know its not easy but you make it seem so. I hope I didn't sound preachy -_-.
31_GoddessAthena_31
#8
but i like them....i never promote....as in never..but i will promote yours hehehe
YUNJAEelf
#9
But I still love them all. ♡
^^
phinea2009 #10
I stick around because your stories just pull me in. I list you among my favourite authors and I read the Volume Up trilogy often. Have faith in your readers’ good taste. I thank my lucky stars that you are willing to write for us.