Why I'm not updating?
For a long time, I have wanted to write some chapters for my ongoing stories. And for someone who has found this world of writing, going with such long periods of times without doing it, feels horrible. It's like you're craving your favorite meal, but for some reason, you can't have it.
I would love to say that having found a good and demanding job in a great start-up and doing something I finally love may have been a major cause... the reality is that this is not why I cannot write anymore.
To be honest, It's been several factors that have made me keep my distance from my favorite hobby in the world.
I could say everything fell down when the major earthquake happened the last September in the city where I live. After going through that frightening event, I was left wondering what I was still doing in this world. I was also recently jobless from quitting a company which I liked but which didn't value what I have done in there for the past year.
Those two events shook me to my core and though I tried to keep going with my regular schedule the best I could, I knew deep inside, I was not okay.
A couple of weeks later I found a job in another great company with great stability but which job didn't fulfill my appetite for growth and desire to have a direct impact in the company, so 3 months later, I quit again. Before quitting I was feeling so happy and hopeful, I thought I would have a couple of months to dedicate completely to writing as I searched for a job that offered what I was looking for – the reality was far away from what I had imagined.
Mexico City is in a very conflictive place regarding earthquakes. Mexico also has an "alert-earthquake system" so, when an earthquake is about to hit, sirens all over the city start to ring and when you hear that sound, your heart stops. I have even said that I'm more scared of that sound than of the actual earthquake itself. Also, for some reason, in the past months, a lot of large/small earthquakes have happened in very short amounts of time and since I live in the 12 floor, feeling each one of them have been traumatizing and horrible.
There have been many weird coincidences too, each time I have uploaded a chapter in this year, each time an earthquake has hit the city and that has just made think that I should not write anymore. I'm scared to post a new chapter because I think the earth will violently shake again.
Is not that I don't want to write, is just that I'm too afraid to do it that I rather not!
I feel so conflicted! I want to write, I want to read your comments and share these worlds I have created in my head, but I'm terrified. I don't know what to do or how to handle this. :'(
Has anyone gone through something similar? Please let me know!
-- From a desperate storyteller who misses sharing chapters!
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