Hello, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything in this web. It has also been a while since I opened Microsoft word 2007. I have deleted some of my stories because I just don’t feel like completing them, or for other reasons that I may or may not talk about in this post... only if I feel like it. Anyway, I haven’t been writing much lately because I can’t get myself to write anything. I genuinely think that my story ideas are good, aside from the romance one... But I can never write it on paper without it sounding like a boring narration of a characters life. Let’s take for instance, “if not...day. The title doesn’t really give much but I kept it because it went with the plot of the story. The plot which is:

A girl who lived a mundane life decides to take the initiative to audition after a popular group visits her school. That group would then act as their trainers for the next 2 to whatever years. She gets eliminated and she goes on with her life. Her parents find out and she is given the same “you are just a lazy waste of space who don’t know how to live or find a job” talk. Skip time and she gets scouted by a small company. She agrees and she passes, because she was one of the first batches of trainees. She finds out about the not so glamorous life behind the TV. She didn’t care and debuted in a group until one member commits suicide because of what the producer had her do (implicating unwanted favours) and decides to do something.

So I actually didn’t know if I should talk about the darker side of the idol life but I wanted to create a realistic story. I even went through the trouble of researching ex trainees experience, audition experience and even articles of allegations.

Back to the title of the story, “if not...day” was actually meant to be If Not Maybe One Day. The character was very indecisive and didn’t really know what to do with her life. When she was given the opportunity to audition for something, all she could think of was how her parents saw her. Even when she debuted, she still felt empty. And she wonders if everything would have been different if she hadn’t done anything, referring to “If not...” This is followed by Day, which she hopes that maybe one day, she would see how that would be.

Anyhow, I scrapped this story midway. I was underwhelmed by how little attention was given it. I can blame my inability to tell stories. This leads me to my next story, “Unwanted fate”. This has a preteen written title and a horrible plot line. I wanted to create a romance story in order to gain some sort of momentum so that more people would get interested in my stories. I did get a lot of attention for that. But I didn’t enjoy the story nor did I enjoy writing it. I lacked knowledge when it came to romance and I found it difficult to create a story around that genre. I ended up writing the begging of a budding romance, only to skip the confessions and boom shakalaka; the two characters are in love. Not only that but if you’ve read the story, you know that there was a complication and the characters are killed off. That was me being frustrated. Frustrated that I couldn’t write a proper love story, frustrated that I forced myself to write one in the first place, and even more frustrated that that horrible story got more views than the other one, which I spent so much time and effort to plan and create.

Maybe one day, I will be able to write a story again. But for now, I really can’t think of anything.

Silver