Hi ,

Day befor yesterday, i thought and wanted to end me again.... But i was aware its no the good thing....its not a good decision

Things around me were not good.. i felt like killing me..... Complete day i was off in my work place... People asked me what happened...my own people asked me what happened but they were not aware. They are the reason y i was off...

I came back home at the evening...... I didn't switch on my lights... I fell on bed and i was thinking of the ways to hurt myself....  My innner slef was struggling...  My heart was upset my brain was on fire... 

 I got stuck ,i got frustrated from the feeling.. i wanted to kill myself. But still i wanted to live.. 

I was fight with my inner slef. I was angry.. i went inside the washroom... Started pouring water over my head....it was 12 in the night... usually  i am restricted to have bath for longer time.. but i was pouring water continuously over my head for last 30 mins or more.. suddenly i sat on the floor of the bathroom holding my knees to chest.... I thought of comming out of washroom and talking to u guys... 

I started taking names in my mind..  i choose to live. I thought to ask for help ..... I started talking to myself that once i go out. I will message dinno ,J (willy),martina ,rin. I will ask them for help. I will tell them to help ... Then suddenly a name came. Bray.. and a single drop of tear escaped my from my eyes.. i said to myself i will go and pm her...  And unintentionally i started crying like a baby... There was no one around.. i was totally wet..  my shower was still one.. and i was crying.... I cried my heart out..... And my thought of killing me was given a halt..... And now i am fine..

Guys tha k u for reading this with patience.. but i wrote my experience to tell u guys that there are situations u would want to kill urslef.. u will want to end everything...  U won't be able to take a single break to think. I know.. i know these feelings... But believe me... Take a halt and think for atleast one sec.. .. cry... Don't hold it.. cry... U will feel better... And  thank u.. for being a part of emotion... :)

Take a break and think...