Looking at stars had always given me peace. Even when I was a kid, I used to stare at the stars and had found tranquility by simply looking at them. Like they're always there to calm my mind. When I would look at Scorpio constellation (that's my Zodiac) I always have this excitement inside me.. Antarus has always been my favourite star.. He is the heart star of Scorpio.. So when I look at the red star, twinkling and shining bright at me, I feel like looking at my heart beating happily.. In short, stars had always brought me such a sense of comfort and peace of mind.. 

But when I went to the rooftop to look at the sky last evening, all that I felt was fear. Insecurity. Shame. Guilt. I knew I was searching for a particular star, not Antarus. I desperately searched for him but I couldn't even see the sky for more than 30 seconds. Before even I could find him, I came back to my room running away from the sky. From the stars. From a place which used to be my haven. I don't even know if I could look up at the sky ever again in my life. I know I can't face him. Not even once. I am sorry, Jonghyun.

Idols work hard to make us smile.. Sometimes we release our stress by listening to their songs. But who knows about their feelings which they hide behind their smiling faces?? They practically bend themselves in order to give us their best... This is the point where he couldn't bend anymore and he broke. TT 

    I request all of us fans out there.. Let's just forget the fanwars.. Stop dissing the idols in social platform whom you think are incapable because they are definitely NOT. Even a single hate comment may make them question their entire being. 
    And to the idol companies.. Let them take rest.. We don't need back to back albums and songs as long as they're fine.. As long as they rest well,eat well and sleep well and are physically and mentally healthy, it is even enough for us. At least they will be alive.

     I have never expected,out of all people, Jonghyun would leave us. He became a star, literally.. I want him to come back to us but I know it can't happen anymore.. Let's not lose anyone..People who are Reading this here, go tell your idols you love them.. We might think we're doing enough but we just realized we're not.. But we don't actually have to lose a person for realizing this.. All idols deserve love,respect and support. Let's just end the fanwars and love the music they're working hard to give us.. 

    May your soul rest in peace Jonghyun oppa.. I think you are happily smiling at us all now.. We'll work hard until we finish what you've left in this world.. We'll bring the change together... We are ashamed that we had let you go but we'll never let go of anyone anymore. Love you forever. You could be our only star. Rest in the peace that you've always wanted. You did well, Jonghyun oppa, 수고하셨습니다.

Stay strong Shawols. SHINee is always 5HINee.