Hi,

This is not related to any fanfic story.. I just want to talk about something heartbreaking today, Last night i was so happy, my Ultimate Group,  Bigbang member is getting married, Taeyang and Minhyorin, I was so happy!!  as a VIP since 2012, i always wanted them to have someone they love at the end....But After few mins browsing my insta, i saw the news about Shinee Jonghyun, to be honest, I'm not a fan, i just know them as one of the biggest groups at that time and i remember clearly that Gd named Shinee as one of talented hoobae he keep an eye on. I never thought i would be affected this much by someone whom i never really follow or stan, I was also shocked that the main reason of his death was depression... As a Bigbang stan, i saw TOP went through this phase, Daesung had a fair share of depression back then and GD always said his unhappy..this is one of my worries for my bias group.. Then here comes the brightest Guy in Shinee.. Without anyone noticing.. He's going through such depression.. painful sadness... that he can't handle anymore....then when i read the last text he sent to his sister.. I started crying for real..i can't control it, my heart aches ,i felt fear that someone i know or love might be having the same scary thoughts,

"It's a miracle I lasted this far" - (his last letter) this line got me... How long is he planning to end his life??, The whole content of the letter was so sad and tragic, but that line stuck in my head..I never cried to someone i didn't know but hearing his story really breaks my heart. I remember, few hours after the news broke some people still hopeful and asking for prayers since he's heart started to beat again and that doctors still reviving him. 1% possibility but the fans started to hold on to it. .. Even me, i suddenly prayed in my room but i asked God, just in case he survive, i hope his heart will be at ease and free from all the sadness, have the medication he need.. But then, God answered me right away, SM had their official statement that He already passed away. Ahhh better to have him in God side.. I'm not saying what Jonghyun did was right but God let him have the peace he wanted.. Arrggg I'm tearing up again.

But you know what guys,  after everything ,i realized, maybe he wanted to tell us something very precious or give us a very valuable lesson so much that he is willing to sacrificed his own life, he wanted to let everyone know that Mentall Illness should be taken seriously (esp. In Korea) , that Idols are human, that harsh words are painful, that depression chooses any one.. He slap the reality in the public's faces.. Even if he went through such ordeal, at the end..

HE DID WELL.

You did will Jonghyun-ssi.. Take a peaceful rest now.