Quite devastated because of myself. Accidentally deleted all of my draft works in my laptop. It synced to my Phone notes, so all notes exists in my laptop was changed. Quite annoyed because all fics that are pending I have right now got a lot of chapters in there but it's been a whiel since I opened this account and wanted to update for you guys but unfortunately I lost everything what I wrote, so I have to start from the scratch again. May or may not update a single fic I don't know yet, I lose hope of getting myself back in writing fics again. I want to update but I can't put anything, just because. The only draft that was saved is the fic that i've been making for a year already, which is should be in a ficfest but can't finish it on time so I put all my efforts there but I am still not halfway through that certain draft. The only downfall of that draft fic is that it is too detailed and readers might get annoyed. It's too long already and haven't been seeing much progress of the characters.

Hoping that I would be back in writing again, someday. This year is full of ups and downs for me, but I am quite surprised that few months/days is becoming much more better for me. There's too many happenings in my life this whole year that's explains why I barely come here now to read or just see updates. Dropped myself in my college, got a part-time job then became a full time call center agent until now. I still don't know when I will comeback to university, I do want a college diploma but torn in between of saving first or finishing college, without my parent's financially support to me (A reason why I got a part-time to full-time job.) Been experiencing depression so much this year, so much stress, so much pressure. I was so lost, I don't know how to pick myself up. But then, a highschool friend suddenly messaged me out of nowhere. Asking if I was fine, asking how my life is after 3 years of no contact. And I know He made this friend of mine, to use. For me to go back my faith into Him. I am so Happy everything changed, and now we keep in contact now, and I grow more with this friend. Met new people around me, who's younger or older than me. They always give me strength, advices and especially they always keep on praying for me. I am quite recovering now, and genuine happiness is coming out of me again. The usual self of mine.

I just want to share this annoying, devastating, heavyhearted, low-spirited happening at the very moment. You don't have to read this nor comment down, just want you guys to understand what's happening to me. Hope you understand me. All of this is not a single joke to me. I was so down. But, Thankfully I am still  here, fighting. 

For those who are struggling too, like me. I want you to know that you are beautiful, you are strong, you are loved, you can breakthrough everything, you are not alone, I believe in you! We believe in you! I don't know how I can help but if you need someone to talk to about your problems or just simple talks, I am here.

Just to add this a verse

"For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you" Isaiah 41:13 NIV

Have a good day everyone!