[ This is something I wrote for this tumblr prompt: "just joking, I don't actually love you" ft. Jikook ]  

It'd never be him

  He thought he had a chance. Clearly, he never did. Jimin, you idiot. How did you let yourself think he'd ever love you? Jungkook would kiss his scars, hold him so close to his chest, making him think that maybe he meant something to Jungkook, yet those were all lies. How could he allowed himself to be so foolish enough to think that he ever did?

  He once had Jungkook play truth or dare with him, choosing 'truth' and Jimin asked who he liked or was in love with. "I love you dummy," he gave his bunny smile, not even showing any ounce of sarcasm. Jimin's heart fluttered, hopes raising as high as the Eiffel Tower until Jungkook crushed them brutally. It's as if he purposely did that, though he actually never knew about his deep feelings for the younger guy. It'd always stay a secret, but deep down Jimin was sure Jungkook had a hunch and he was purposely torturing him. 

"Just kidding. I don't actually love you. Not like that. I like this girl from Honours," he ruffled Jimin's hair, Jimin smiling it off painfully. He liked someone else. It'd never be him.

  That crush turned into a relationship that he had to watch for years. That relationship turned into a marriage, a wedding he had to stand at and watch how Jungkook walked down the aisle with the girl of his entire dreams -- it wasn't Jimin. It'd never be him. The way Jungkook saw his entire world when he looked at her broke his heart into shattered fragments, the sound of it breaking rang in his ears. He looked away, his tears slowly pooring down his cheeks, wiping them aggressively to hide the fact he was crying at a public wedding. 

From then on, Park Jimin was dead. He couldn't love no more.

It'd never be him.