So I'm 15 turning 16, and this is a very normal thing but, I HAVE AN ADMIRER. (screams in terror)

i know it's not a bad thing. HECK I'M HAPPY. uhuehue. a girl like me??? what??? (unbelievable *DK's voice*) 

I'll just share out here that, like a lot of people, I am verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry shy. I'm not anti-social but, .... eh, I have some of the characteristics of one. As much as possible, I back away from socializing cause I'm deadly awkward. HA. HA. HA. I can't really talk properly with people at first. For some reason, last year, I got better with people.

GOD REALLY MAKES MIRACLES. I MADE CONTACT WITH A STRANGER FIRST. I APPROACHED THEM.

Other than that, I can't interact with boys who aren't from the same class. I'm also pretty slobbish, but I guess it doesn't show when I'm in school since they rarely call me out for it. I look like I'm in a bad mood often because it's my resting face. Well, can't help that \(-ㅂ-)/. I always wear a jacket. I don't know why this is a bad thing exactly but, I wear the same jacket for a week. I sweated in it already, I wore it the whole day, I sat on the dirty floor (cause i love sitting on the floor). I mean, let's talk about hygiene. I'm really conscious of my hygiene, yes, but I'm too lazy to fix myself and smell good. Ehhh, my hair's almost always a mess. I'm not attractive either. I'm most likely the last person you would ever think of since I LACK PRESENCE. 

But there's this guy that likes me. WOOO, this is a first. And I received gifts already. I find it cute. BUT I'M SUFFERING FROM MY AWKWARDLY-CANNOT-DO-ANYTHING syndrome. I don't think he knows I know he truthfully likes me. It started out as a joke that developed into feelings, apparently. So I think he still think that I think it's a joke, lol. 

Sadly, I don't like him. I like someone else right now. But I'm trying hard to forget my feelings for this person because having feeelings takes so much energy out of you. And when people actually find out you like a person, it's a really BIG deal for them and not the person who has feelings. I'm drained because I know he won't see me that way. It's fine. He can be with someone else while I'll be low-key jealous from a distance. Heh, I'm not that sad. 

All this love crap of teenage life so much. I mean, the first crush I've ever had in my life, who is very far from my standards set by handsome, talented Korean men, got expelled. Now my current crush sister-zoned me. I'm not close with the guy who likes me so I don't know where he is (acquaintance-zone?maybe?).  I thought girls who were 16 would be the perfect ones when I was a kid. I always wanted to be a teenager faster than time should be, but now that I am, I wanna go back. Ew, this life. Heck, I want a boyfriend, too.

But I'm also not prepared for one. BUT STILL. 

All I can say about being at this age, when hormones are raging, emotions are not very stable, learning more things about the world, simply the age of youth,

is that

YOUTH . :(

But humans go through it.