Hansol fidgeted while he watched his dad slept. It had been two days and Seungcheol was getting worse by each second passed. He looked paler, lost appetite and slept a lot more. The son was contemplating about something. About his mom and his twin. He stared up to Seungcheol.

‘Dad… please forgive me.’ Hansol took a breath and stood up. He looked at Seungcheol for a while before leaving. He switched on his phone and scrolled along his contact list. Dialling up a number, he waited his call to get connected.

“Hello…?” A voice heard, it sounded like the other already slept.

“Hey… did you already sleeping?”

“Hansol hyung?” Hansol heard some shuffle. “I fell asleep while doing homework, gosh. Never mind that, why you’re calling hyung?” Hansol took a breath.

“I have something to tell you… and your mom. Is he home?” Hansol carefully said as he waited for Chan’s response.

“I’m not sure but I will check. But hyung, what is it? You sounded so serious.” Chan said as he walked out from his door just to find his mom was sitting at the sofa, reading some papers in his hand. Chan guessed his mom was doing his work. “He is home.” Jihoon looked up to Chan’s voice.

Hansol hummed to Chan’s word. “Put on speaker and I will start to talk.” Chan gave his yes and some voices heard in the background. Hansol could hear Jihoon was asking who it is and what’s happening.

“We’re on speaker hyung.” Chan said. Hansol hummed.

“I’m sorry to call this late and I should have said this face to face but I can’t leave.” Hansol took a breath. Chan was full of questions but decided to stay quiet while Jihoon waited. “Actually, there’s something you need to know.” Hansol bit his lips as he glanced to the ward door. ‘I’m sorry dad but this is for your own good.’ “It’s about my dad. He- he’s sick- and dying.”

A pregnant silence filled the line.

 

 

Seungcheol woke up to a soft sniffle beside him. “Hansol?” Seungcheol called as he tried to push open his eyes. He didn’t like it when Hansol cried. Once Seungcheol regained his normal sight, he startled by the face he was seeing. “Ji- Jihoon?” Seungcheol’s eyes widened, he stuttered. He blinked few times, trying to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.

Jihoon wiped his tears harshly before holding Seungcheol’s hand. Seungcheol at instant knew it wasn’t a dream. Jihoon bit his lips. “How did this happen? My gosh… I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean my wish of you to die. No… God, I take it back. Please…” Seungcheol bit his lips and squeezed Jihoon’s hand in his.

“Jihoon, Jihoonie. No, it’s not your fault. It’s nothing to do with you. Don’t blame yourself.” Seungcheol said softly, smiling lightly to the other. Jihoon sniffled. “I never see this as your fault. I’m the one to be blamed.” Jihoon broke a sob and moved forward.

Seungcheol smiled as he felt the warm and weight on his chest. Jihoon was crying into his cloth. “Jihoonie, love. Please… don’t cry.”

“I don’t want you to die. No, please don’t die. I hide all this while just because I’m not ready to be back. I need time to forget that day. Please, don’t take him.” Jihoon was blurting out. Seungcheol exhaled as he rubbed Jihoon’s back.

“Jihoon ah…”

“Seungcheol, I’m sorry. I’m hiding from you. I know you got someone to find me and I- actually paid him not to bring any news about me to you.” Jihoon sniffled. Seungcheol was listening silently. “I’m sorry about that. I just don’t want to see you. I’m not ready. I need time.”

“My love Jihoonie, it’s okay… I understand you.” Jihoon looked up. Seungcheol bit his lips, his own eyes got watered. He didn’t like it when his dearest person cried. Be it his son or Jihoon, his heart broke to see the tears. Seungcheol ghostly reached to wipe the tears away.

“I left not because I didn’t love you but it hurts me when I can’t forget that fight, your words and your doubt. I just can’t forget everything; it’s very hard to do it. I hate that you give me pain, you doubt me. I hate you but I can’t hate you. And I hate myself for that. Because I know, there’s a part of me want to be back.” Jihoon sniffled, hands reaching to touch Seungcheol’s face that now was wet. “I may sound selfish but there’s a part of me felt that you will always be there where I left. I walk away to erase it, or perhaps I did try to move on but no, I could never do so. I have given my all for you and left with nothing. I couldn’t take back. You would be there waiting for me when I’m ready to go home. I trust you that someday if I have the courage to go back, you would be there. I never had a thought that you will-”

“Oh, Jihoon.” Seungcheol sniffled. “I’m sorry that I only give you pain. I shouldn’t… I fed on my jealousy. I’m scared to the thought of losing you but… I make you leave… I’m sorry.” Jihoon shook his head.

“Seungcheol… I have already forgiven you long ago.” Jihoon said, smiling a little. “Seungcheol… can I stay with you?” Jihoon looked into the eyes that he had been missed all this while. Seungcheol stared back.

“I have not much time…”

“That tells me that I really need to be here. I don’t want to lose you… at least your last moments.” Seungcheol bit his lips. His palm touched Jihoon’s cheek.

“I love you Jihoon.” Seungcheol said as he welcomed Jihoon on the bed. Today was one of the days that he didn’t need the oxygen mask and he was thankful so that he could cuddle with Jihoon at this moment.

“I know, I love you too Seungcheol. So much.”

“I’m sorry for the pain.”

“I forgive you already.”

“I’m sorry for making you cry.”

“I told you, you’re forgiven.” Jihoon said, placing his head on Seungcheol’s chest. The soft heartbeat and moving muscle simultaneously with the beeping machine beside the bed made Jihoon felt a bit in ease. At least, in this moment, it was still beeping normally even though it’s very soft. Seungcheol’s hand fell on his hair while another one wrapped around his waist possessively and Jihoon smiled, he missed this so much.

“I’m sorry for going to leave too soon.”

“It’s not your fault, Cheol. Seungcheol, Choi Seungcheol, I love you.”

“I love you too Lee Jihoon. So much. Forever and ever.” Jihoon smiled softly and snuggled closer if it’s possible. The two smiled as if there’s nothing but their happiness.

 

 

Seungcheol smiled as he watched Jihoon and their twins’ talking. The night he and Jihoon talked, Chan and Hansol came on the morning just to find their parents sleeping while hugging each other. Hansol was smiling so brightly while Chan couldn’t stop squealing and even not forgetting to take a photo. The two were awake to Chan’s constant snapping picture and Jihoon was blushing madly when he found the twin saw them. Seungcheol didn’t say a thing just smiled when Jihoon climbed down the bed and went to wash his face. At that moment, Chan talked with Seungcheol over stuff and mostly about the cancer. The younger twin looked very upset and sad but he didn’t cry – Hansol broke the word to Seungcheol that Chan already cried so much since the news was spoken to them. Seungcheol gave Chan a great hug, apologizing and Chan just smiled, sniffling lightly as he told his dad that he loves him. Seungcheol was touched to that and cried a little when Jihoon returned. Since then, they were talking about almost everything.

On the other side, Hansol was happy that he made a good choice to tell them because Seungcheol looked a bit brighter and he hoped that his dad will have only good days while it still lasts.

“Dad?” Seungcheol startled and woke from his train of thought. He smiled to Chan. “You’re spacing out again.”

“Sorry, baby boy. Dad is just thinking of stupid things, don’t worry.” Chan pouted and turned to Hansol.

“Hyung, did dad does this all the time?” Hansol raised his brow as he looked up to Seungcheol. Seungcheol gave a smile and Hansol replied with a smirk.

“A lot. And that always had been the reasons of why he often knocked himself everywhere he could.” Hansol said, chuckling to the memory. Seungcheol pouted to his son’s revelation and Chan laughed to his ridiculous face while Jihoon already shook his head.

“You never grow up.” Jihoon said. Seungcheol looked at him and huffed.

“I grow up okay! I take care of myself well, and Hansol too.” Seungcheol childishly whined. Chan laughed to that while Hansol rolled his eyes. Jihoon chuckled and glanced to Hansol.

“Well, it’s a magic too that my elder baby here grow up so well.” Hansol startled and smiled shyly when Jihoon reached to ruffle his hair. Seungcheol pouted to Jihoon’s sarcasm but then his heart warmed seeing Hansol liked Jihoon’s act. Chan looked at his mom.

“Mom.” Jihoon looked at Chan. “Did you and dad get married?” The two startled at the sudden question. Jihoon turned to look at Seungcheol who already looked at him. They stared for a while before Hansol cleared his throat.

“Well, Chan. I know you’re curious but that question-” Hansol was cut off by Seungcheol.

“No, we didn’t. We didn’t manage to get married in legal way. But I propose to your mom a week after we know you both are in your mom’s tummy.” Seungcheol said, smiling at Jihoon before looking at Chan. “We actually decided to wait until you two were born so that both of us can fly to Canada or any country that we could register our marriage but… yeah.” Seungcheol smiled bitterly. Chan bit his lips while Hansol just stayed silent. The elder twin had been told about this before; Hansol had once asked when he was a little bit younger.

“But that’s legal case… so wedding ceremony, even it is a small one, still no?” Chan continued to ask after a moment of silence. Jihoon touched Chan’s hair.

“I refuse when your dad want to invite our friend over as a small wedding after the proposal.” Jihoon answered this time. “Because I thought we should do it after we get legal document. I regret that a little.” Jihoon said sincerely. Seungcheol looked at him.

“Jihoon…”

“Don’t say sorry. You said that enough already, I don’t blame you.” Jihoon reached to hold Seungcheol’s hand. Seungcheol smiled softly. Hansol and Chan looked at them before looking at each other. As if they’re connected through look and telepathy both of them suddenly snapped their fingers that brought their parents’ eyes on them.

“Boys?” Seungcheol raised his brow.

“If it’s not too much, let’s do a small wedding now!” Chan said excitedly. Hansol nodded at the back. Seungcheol blinked and looked at Jihoon. Jihoon looked at him for a while before turning to the twin.

“What are you planning?” Jihoon asked. Hansol grinned.

“Dad still has the rings.” Jihoon glanced at Seungcheol. Seungcheol just smiled. “And we have Uncle Joshua to be the witness or priest or anything and I should ask him to call over your friend that knew about your relationship. I remember there’s a few of them.” Hansol said.

Chan clapped his hand. “Ah, I think mom had so many suits that look perfect for a wedding. I believe dad had too because hyung told me you’re working at an office so you will always look tidy right?” Chan grinned. “That part is settled. I can get some stuff like decoration to make this room better.” Chan said excitedly. Hansol beamed to his twin’s suggestion. The parents looked at the twin quizzically before looking at each other.

“Doing… this at hospital kind of…” Seungcheol bit his lips. He knew he couldn’t leave the hospital because he didn’t have much strength to do so. But he felt bad about having their small wedding here and- Seungcheol was awake by Jihoon’s tap on his arm.

“Seungcheol, I kinda want it. It’s okay even it’s here. Please, let’s do it.” Jihoon said, eyes looking into Seungcheol’s. Seungcheol stared at Jihoon for a while before biting his lips.

“Jihoon, I’m sorry for having a wedding at hospital, I-”

“Just say yes. I told you, you said sorry enough.” Seungcheol bit his lips and nodded.

“Yeah, let’s do that.” Jihoon smiled and hugged Seungcheol. The twins jumped in their seat and squealed to the plan. The two looked more excited and Jihoon was happy with it. Seungcheol smiled as he watched them making a more detailed plan.

 

 

Seungcheol coughed hard. The bitter taste and soreness made him dizzy. There’s no one in the ward, the twins and Jihoon left to send the boys home for school tomorrow. Jihoon told Seungcheol he will be back after he made sure the two slept and could go to school on their own tomorrow morning. It was the last school day of the week and the twins said they will be doing the wedding as planned in two days. Hansol got Joshua’s permission to bring out Seungcheol to the small hall that hospital had when the twins got permission to do the wedding at the small hall. Seungcheol could see they’re excited for this and Jihoon was happy, even Joshua told him it was a great thing to do. Seungcheol coughed again, stopping him from his own thought.

Seungcheol groaned as he felt liquid on his palm. He opened his eyes to look at his palm and he bit his lips. Tears that formed because of the coughing fit now fell down from his eyes. He quickly took a handkerchief that he hid under his pillow and wiped his hand. The handkerchief wasn’t very clean, there’s red spot already even before Seungcheol wiped his hand. Truthfully said, he had coughed blood since yesterday in which he knew something was bound to happen. He didn’t tell them because he didn’t want them to worry or even cancelled the plan. He wanted to make them happy and he knew this is the last chance.

Seungcheol hid the handkerchief again and took the water beside the bed to wash away the leftover iron taste in his mouth. The male lied down and closed his eyes, hoping he will still wake up for the next two days.

 

 

It was very nice, the hall decoration. It was simple but they will know right away it was a wedding. Seungcheol was not sure how did Chan managed to get something like this but he was sure Joshua and Jihoon had their hand in this too.

Jihoon smiled when he saw Hansol pushed the wheelchair where Seungcheol was sitting. Chan who was standing beside him touched his shoulder. “Mom, dad is so handsome, right?” Jihoon smiled.

“He’s the best man I ever see.” Chan smiled back.

“And he’s yours. Always.” Jihoon nodded. Hansol stopped the wheelchair in front of Jihoon. Seungcheol and Jihoon looked at each other with a smile. Chan took the honour to place the wheelchair on his spot beside Jihoon when Hansol walked to the side.

“Hi, handsome.” Jihoon chuckled to Seungcheol’s word.

“Hi too, handsome.” Seungcheol laughed. Chan just shook his head.

“I wonder did you two are so flirty like this in the past?” Chan questioned lowly.

“Your dad is.”

“And your mom learnt from me.” Chan just chuckled and walked to stand beside Hansol. The twins smiled to each other before listening to the speech, done by Joshua.

There were not much people in the same hall. There were Seungcheol’s co-workers that had known about Seungcheol’s love life and accepted it. And some of them were friends during the college that knew about the couple, Joshua had called them. Among them, there’s a certain male that Hansol heard about the name but didn’t know the face. Moon Junhee, the male that his dad thought his mom cheated with. The male had come with his own partner, a guy, looked very happy to see his parents in front. There were two people that Hansol secretly wished was here to see that his parents are still going strong after so long but Hansol knew better about their whereabouts. He hoped that Joshua remembered to drop the news when the doctor went to pay a visit to the graveyard four days ago.

“You may say your vow and exchange the ring.” Joshua’s voice rang and the attention was on the couple. Seungcheol smiled as he looked up to Jihoon. Jihoon got down on his knees.

“Oh, Jihoon.”

“This is better.” Seungcheol smiled and his eyes glistened with wetness.

“Jihoon, my precious Lee Jihoon. I love you so much that I couldn’t put a measure to it. I love you so much that losing and leaving you scared me the most. I love you, all of you that always make me feel like I have the world if I have you. I give you pain and tears, and you’re still here. I’m sorry for all my flaws and I’m thankful for your love. I promise you, Lee Jihoon, even we’re not seeing each other, as long as you remembered me, I’m always here with you. I love you, so much, yesterday, right now and tomorrow, and even for the next life. I love you, Lee Jihoon. Thanks for willing to be mine.” Jihoon smiled and nodded. Seungcheol took the ring and put it for Jihoon. Jihoon smiled. After so long, that ring was back to his forth finger. This coldness that hugged his finger perfectly, he couldn’t put into a word how much he missed it.

Jihoon held Seungcheol’s hand. “Choi Seungcheol, my love, my all. I love you so much. I love you so much that it hurts. I love you so much that I don’t know anything but you. I love you; everything about you is very dear to me. I may leave, I left you once but that’s the past. I’m here now and I want to tell you that I love you so much, forever and ever. I’m ready to be yours and I never regret this because I love you. Thanks for letting me be yours.” Jihoon smiled and took the ring to be put on Seungcheol’s finger. Seungcheol smiled as Jihoon looked up, intertwining their fingers. Jihoon gave his brightest smile. “I have re-registered the family name again. I put Chan’s name with you and I change his surname to you.” Seungcheol looked at him. “He’s now a Choi, Choi Lee Chan.” Seungcheol smiled.

“That’s sweet.” Jihoon beamed.

“But nothing is sweeter than this.” Jihoon whispered before he leaned up, caught Seungcheol for a kiss. Seungcheol smiled in the kiss as he took his free hand to hold Jihoon’s cheek. The claps and squeals heard in the background as the two kept kissing each other.

“I love you, Jihoon.” The whisper on lips was so clear in Jihoon’s ears through the kisses. Tears fell and the lifeless hand slipped from holding his cheek. The action made everyone startled, moreover Joshua and the twins.

“Dad!”

 

 

“Hey, dad.” Hansol smiled as he placed down a bouquet of flower. “We’re here again.” Hansol stepped back, standing beside the two males.

“Dad, how are you? It must be nice. Was it cold? Because it’s a bit cold here. Hyung and I took the exam in such a cold day.” Hansol smiled to his brother’s word. “Yup, we’re preparing for college. We thought it’s the best if we went to mom’s place.”

“I tried to scold them about that because it’s not very nice if they entered there. Even Hansol didn’t go to the place he wanted. But yeah, they’re your boys. Stubborn.” Jihoon sighed.

“Dad, I know you’re saying that mom is stubborn too, right?” Chan teased his mom. Hansol chuckled when Jihoon pouted.

“Well, I prefer to be with mom and Chan. I want to stay together as much as we could because we know you’re happy to see us like that. Right, dad?” Hansol commented. Jihoon exhaled and ruffled the two’s hair.

“Whatever. But I’m happy if you got into college and finish your study well. Your dad will like that too.” The twins nodded.

“We know.” Chan answered before turning to the tomb. “Dad, did you notice something?” Hansol and Jihoon turned to the youngest. Chan beamed with a teasing smirk. “I grow a bit taller; I think I didn’t stop growing yet. See, I’m taller than mom.” Hansol laughed while Jihoon groaned.

“Gosh, Cheol. I really can’t stop this boy with his obsess of height. Chan, I get it that you’re taller than me, your mom.” Chan laughed.

“Dad, you’re true. It’s very good to tease mom about this.” Jihoon wrinkled. He had never heard of this.

“Wait. Choi Seungcheol, what had you told Chan?” Jihoon looked at the tomb in disbelief. Chan snickered while Hansol just shook his head and patted his mom’s back.

“I’m sorry, mom. But dad told a bit too much about you.” Hansol said softly. Jihoon puffed his cheeks and glared at the name on the stone.

“Be grateful that you’re not here Choi Seungcheol or you’re dead in my hand.” The twins laughed to Jihoon’s word. Jihoon sighed. “Why did I have this two big teaser just like his dad with me? Oh god.”

“Aww, mom. We know you love us.” Chan said cutely as he hugged Jihoon. Hansol smiled and hugged them also. Jihoon just exhaled but smiled later. Being hugged by them, he realized exactly that his twins grew up so much that he was towered and squeezed in their hug.

“And I love you two too.” Jihoon said as he patted their arms. “Your dad loves you two too.”

“We know.” Chan said before Hansol joined him for the next word. “We love you too, dad.”

“We promise you we’re living well and happy. Don’t worry, we will always remember you in our moment thou.” Hansol added.

“Yup, because you never leave us. Dad, thanks for having us.” Chan smiled.

“And thanks for loving us. Seungcheol, rest in peace. We will meet each other when the time comes.” The twins got their hug tighter and three of them smiled to the tomb. The wind gave calm feeling and they knew they were heard.

The End