Hi.

It's been too long since I last wrote something. Lol

I'm really not feeling good since the end of last year. Idk why.

I started to skip school, meals, didn't talk to anyone and like being alone.

And at the beginning of this year, I felt so sick. I felt that there's something wrong going on.

Later, I found out that there are 'something invincible' that has been following me around, that makes me sick, felt uncomfortable, etc. 

Kalau ada yang kat sini, orang Islam, yang faham, I all kena santau & ada saka.

Everything went wrong started from then. It was the mid year exam, when my hands were trembling whenever I tried to write something on the paper. And I couldn't lift my hands up, because my shoulder felt so heavy.

I started getting gastrics, severe headaches, muscle pain and all. I went to the doctor almost every week. But they said that nothing's wrong with me and i'm perfectly healthy.

For the past month, my blood pressure was very low ; it was between 40-50 only. I couldn't get out of bed as I was really weak. I ate 3 meals a day and still, my blood pressure stays the same(even right now my blood pressure is only 54, which is still really low).

I felt depressed. I really don't want to see/talk to anyone. I'm hurting but no one can do anything for me. I started searching up about depressions, anxiety, mental breakdown, panic attack and everything related to them.

I really want and need to visit a psychologist but its really expensive. I felt hopeless. 

Even my family couldn't save me from all these thoughts and worries. I'm scared. 

Should I just die. 

Someone please help me