Hey guys, 

Hope you guys had an amazing week and yeah. Happy October :) 

October is my birthday month. LEGGGOOO. loool

But yeah tomorrow marks 10 months of my friend and I dont really know anymore. I'll just leave it at that.

I mean this week was interesting.

I honestly broke down in my philosophy class and talked about my best friend. With all the dramatic tears and all.

It was horrendous but oh well. I wonder how my classmates look at me now. Not that I care how they judge its just.

I have so much life scars  on me, I mean i even revealed that I didn't have a father. I mean, you know I go out into the world acting as if no one knows anything about me, so why do i even mention anything. 

But it just slipped out. My teacher even talked about it how hard it must have been growing up with just a single parent. 

I mean the only reaosn why I came out clean is because I knew one day in that class I would talk about my best friend.

The whole reason for this breakdown is because my teacher wanted us to be real. To talk and have real conversations because that's what it is to be human.

We have to realize that we're all human and that we all have feelings.

One thing that I really want to write down that I never got to in my own update book is the fact that from the question that my teacher asked:

What event or person has played an important role in who you are today?

Someone who I consider close and my best friend. said my name. Said it was because without me she would have been alone in highschool.

She started to cry afterwards out of no where. 

I started to cry too.

It was pretty emotional for me. Because I realized that's how much she loves me as a friend and how much she's grateful.

She's not the type to talk deep with me but through her crying I understood that she loves me. I never doubted that but she truly appreciates me,
 

At the same time, i thought I'm someone who's like that to someone else? I can't really see myself as someone amazing or influential. I was sort of in denial at that point.

But yeah, that was my monday.

Lately, my mom has been putting alot of pressure on me for my top 3 choices of university.

I'm also applying for scholarships as of right now, doing my applicaiton.

So all of this rush and the fact that I was screaming at my math teacher LOL screaming like SIR I DID THAT BUT IN ANOTHER WAY SIR IM GOING TO CRY and him replying I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL xD because of a math assignment.
I mean everything is unreal or surreal? I guess.

But yeah. who knows what will happen.

Till next time.

Love you always.

~Mera