160921 Short Update on Life

Hey you guys! How are you all? ;)

I am in such an AFF mood today, updating mnemonic, the fashion blog (again, thank you so much for all the support already! a fashion blog is such an unusual thing, so I'm glad you guys like it) and also re-uploading and un-drafting old stories that I've been wanting to re-upload and un-draft for a few months. Recently, I decided not to forget about AFF and not to hide old stories because it remains part of my life. It may not be the only thing anymore, but I can still come here once in a while and finish what I've started. It is a beautiful experience, and though I don't have as much time as I did back then, it doesn't mean I should abandon it. I realized how dear it is to me. 

So Das Regenmädchen, Cafe Latte, and Empty Heart are all public again! 

If you guys are interested, I may even post the one German fantasy story I started in spring. At first I wanted to keep it to myself and only write when I felt like it, with no pressure at all. But currently, that doesn't lead anywhere, so say the word, and I'll upload it. ;)

To my life:

I've been accepted for Psychology at Heidelberg University and I will start in October. Almost finished with all formalities, only one application for a scholarship left that I have to proof-read, OTL. Can't bring myself to do any of that.

Ever since returning to Germany I've had some sort of identity crisis about being Chinese or German (the conclusion, obviously, being both) and just the whole third culture kid problem. I don't really belong anywhere, but I've decided to make the best of it (Hanna Montana's "Best of Both Worlds", anyone?). There wasn't much time to be stuck in that crisis, however, because there were many wine festivals in the area, which I enjoyed with friends. I'm still a little unsure about who I am and what I want, but I'm trying to juggle meeting friends, social commitment, getting formalities done, reading in both German and English (after China I felt like I failed at all three languages, orz), self-studying Chinese, taking care of my family and AFF. It's a lot tbh, but I'm doing my best! ;D

That's it. Thank you for all of your patience, and I wish you a nice week. ;)

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ButterflyMint #1
most people goes through identity problems, but we have to learn to accept and love ourselves. And I understand your point of view, I have asian roots from my mother and I've lived in an entire different country and context and as growing up I felt weird (specially as a kid) but then as years passed by I accepted who I am and learn to appreciate both of my nationalites.
Exploring is part of the process of knowing ourselves. I'm happy you are trying new things and going out :) I'll help you a lot to find what you truly want and what you feel comfortable with.
Good luck <3
Silencedshadow #2
Congratulations on getting accepted!!!! :D yey!!!
I knew you would, but I'm still congratulating you. :)

You sound so so busy, how do you have time to breath? :)) I'm joking, but you do sound very busy, so try not to tire yourself too much. Especially after school starts. :)

Identity crisis you say? You're probably feeling that way because you just recently returned from China, and maybe with time the confusion will wear off. Still, you are both Chinese and German, and it's something you can't change even if you want. And I'm sure you don't want that. :) The best part of being both is that you get to experience the best things in both. And take what's best from both cultures. I'm pretty sure learning Chinese can be quite an adventure, and it must be awesome at the end of the day to be able to understand the characters and what people are saying. It's probably very very hard, but rewarding at the same time. :)
Angelini #3
Wow Heidelberg is amazing!!!

Honestly, being multicultural is something to be celebrated instead of hidden. Lol I'm always asked: what's your ethnicity cause to different people I either look full chinese or full filipino. But my ethnicity is even larger: Vietnamese, Chinese, Filipino, Spaniard, French, African...and many more. Most of my cousins choose to forget their lineage and just say Vietnamese, but honestly, I'm extremely proud to be all of the ethnicity I listed. It makes me unique and enable me to learn about different cultures and languagues.

In the end just remember that it's all about balance, juggling a lot of stuff isn't bad, but you do need more effort to get use to it, and hey, if you're doing your best, you have nothing to be ashamed of
Exoshidae61 #4
Struggling with your identity is common now that mixed marriages do happen but remember, you certainly DO have the best of both worlds. Remember, it doesn't matter what race or nationality you are, as long as you are a human, a human with humanity and of course a home, you belong to this earth. Trust, you are already home.
superdupper #5
That's good. You can do it. I know you can fighting
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