Soooo yesterday I broke up with my boyfriend of about 2 years, I started dating him like a week after I turned 21 and it'll be a month until I'm 23. It was pretty mutual and also very calm yet awkward. I don't have any negative feelings about it, I mean we barely saw each other with me being away for grad school about 2 hours away and him being busy teaching and all. If it were out of the blue then yeah, I'd have been devastated but like I said it was already on the way out.

That being said, I'm still very much sad when I think about how it's offically over because he was my very first boyfriend, like ever. And he was a great boyfriend. My sister keeps telling me that I was too good for him but I think he was always good for me. He was my first kiss, my first love, and my first time actually connecting with someone which I'd never thought was possible. He never pressured me into anything too fast, always took my feelings into consideration, he didn't force me to talk when I don't like to do so.

Despite the fact that we stopped talking and kind of didn't put that much work into it, he was a good boyfriend I think in the aspects that mattered to me. I can't help feeling that we (or maybe just mostly I) let something really good go. When it comes to dating, I look for someone goal oriented, and whose goals match mine like career wise, family wise, etc. I don't like to waste my time on someone who is not doing anything, nor do I like to spend time with people who bore me to an early grave and unfortunately I know quite a few people like that. It's very difficult for me at the moment to picture myself with someone else, maybe because it's too soon and I am definitely not looking for anyone right now. I'm still just too sad.

Still, I hope he finds someone who makes him happy, because he deserves it as much as I do.