why i cant be in a relationship

im very sad and i dont really know who else to turn to but whats left of the audience of my old and dead fanfiction career. :(

lets start with how i feel like im depressed, and going through fits of anxiety, but dont really want to explain that to anyone close unless i get a therapist or something to give me unbiased third party help. i have some of classic depression symptoms, like lethargy, helplessness hopelessness, or maybe im just not okay with way things are beginning to play out in 2016. and i've always had anxiety, none of my friends know this.

okay so lets get to that title, I haven't spoken to my significant other in 3 weeks. 3 whole weeks. no visits, calls or texts. and now i'm back to school and they're at home so its going to be more difficult to see each other. i feel like i should reach out and say something but what if they don't want me to? i feel like we've been slowly slipping out of a good state and i don't know how to get it back.

i feel like most people's advice would be like "just talk to them! it's going to be fine!" but its not that easy. i have lots of anxiety. just considering sending people a simple text message makes me feel almost sick. i know its mostly in my mind, but its still something i experience and it makes this situation that much more difficult.

i feel like giving up.

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D2EXO_SHINee #1 Jan 22, 2016 01:59:05

I'm sorry to hear that 2016 isn't what you expected, and I wish your AFF family would be of more support to you. But that's why we're here! We're here to listen cuz we really care about you and your well-being. Btw, I apologize ahead of time too for this novel of my advice, but hear me out!
The relationship with your significant other (or any relationship for that matter) is all about communication and patience. Communication is key so you both know and can talk out anything that's bothering you or simply because you just miss them. Patience is also important because without it, everyone can blow a fuse whenever they want. Esp when things can get irrational...
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I understand where you're coming from, not just because I'm in a relationship too but because I happen to experience the same kind of anxiety when it comes to even my closest friends. I know what it's like to feel anxious to simply text someone just to know how they're doing/let them know how much i miss them and if it's bad/good to contact them. "Am I going to annoy them? Will they ignore me? What if they don't answer me?" etc. ...But here's something I've learned – It's completely normal to feel this way. People everywhere feel this way everyday, and you're not alone. People have this on their mind everyday, and you should never feel bad about yourself for feeling anxious, okay? :) I want you to know (even though you've prob heard this from so many people already) that it's all going to be fine in the end. It may not be now or anytime soon, but it will. I promise. I understand that 2016 hasn't really started out like you wanted to, but it will get better~!! So please don't ever give up!

(check the Replies of this comment for more ^^' im sorry how long it is, but plz hear me out~!)

Panda1674 #2 Jan 21, 2016 22:10:42

don't give up. anxiety is one of the most difficult things to deal with. you can feel hopeless all you want, but don't ever give up. trust me when i say that everything you're experiencing now will soon pass. just think of the other great things that you have in your life. think of the happy memories or your dreams or other positive things that is to come. you can get through this. go to your kitchen, make a cup of hot chocolate, eat some sweets or anything. take a hot or cold shower. if you can't talk to them now, there will come a time when you're ready. explain whatever there is to explain until then. but writing this down is good. it helps a lot, especially if you cant talk to anyone yet.
sorry for my long crappy advice. /sings avril lavigne's keep holding on/ fighting!