desperate
One sided love never felt this good.
A smile had never made my heart flutter like this in the past
Someone's imperfections... had never been so perfect in my eyes
His eyes... His expressive eyes that takes me into a brand new world
His work of art, the collection of his melodious masterpieces had me so willing to spend the money I tried so hard to save
Just to have it in my hands...
Just for my ears to experience the bliss of listening to his songs
His voice
The songs he worked hard for just to make other people happy
While making money
And I don't mind giving him all of my cash.
He... He taught me how to be a human
A human who thinks before she acts
A human who gives her all in the things she does
An existence who could finally show the world how she...
A youth who just knew how to study, study, study...
Could learn how to feel things.
I had never thought that I may cry on front of the damned screen
That God had mercy on me, and gave it to me to show things about him
Because he made me so proud of him.
I was not expressive enough to write about how he makes me feel
To write novels that mirrored the life I want to experience life with him
To write letters that would never be read by those two eyes that could take my breath away.
I... never wanted someone like this
Yearn for someone...
And is willing to grab any chance I could have just to see him
Even just once...
Just a minute...
Hold his hand,
Or just the garment he is wearing
Even just for a second...
I had never been willing to swim oceans that separates us just to see a glimpse of him.
He... His whole humanity, makes me want to protect him in any way I know.
The raging storm in my cloudy mind dies down just by his voice
I... I could barely sleep because...
I never felt this way before,
I never wanted someone like this before.
And the last person I thought I would fall for
Is a beauty, a dazzling, unreachable angel who doesn't have a clue that I exist.
But the pain feels so nice... So fulfilling... so good.
The love is so intense up to the point that...
I'm begging him to date someone else he loves...
He wants, he yearns for the same way I do.
I don't mind being called a freak,
Because this is how I feel.
I...
Thank you, Kim Jonghyun.
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