My friend, Jorge, and I planned to go to the university yesterday so we could resolve a few things. He sent me text messages and a voice mail this morning and got a little worried and stressed since I wasn’t answering. Turns out that, I must have disconnected my phone changer while I slept last night so, my phone was off. Him being the smart guy that he is went to my house even though I wasn’t answering.

My mom woke me up saying a friend was waiting for me and that she was going to tell him to leave since I wasn’t ready. That instead she was going to ask her boyfriend’s sister to send me to the university later on. I panicked for two reasons: 1. I felt bad for Jorge coming all the way to my house 2. she had sent that lady to do the same thing a few days ago and didn’t do about it. Thankfully, I don’t take a lot of time getting ready. I slipped on the first clothes I found and went downstairs to tell my friend to wait in the living room while I did my hair.

I tried asking my mom for the documents she has for the university, and she cut me off because she was talking on the phone. So I rushed back upstairs to finish getting ready, listening to my mom talking on her\ phone in the process. I notice her voice disappearing when I was done. Turns out she left by the time I got downstairs. I decided to at least do as much as I could do at the university now that I had the chance.

Jorge was able to do everything he had to at the university. I, on the other hand, wasn’t able to do anything. I just wanted to change my classes so that they could be approved as soon as I get the chance to pay. But the guy sent me to the counselor since I haven’t been able to see the available classes since I still owe around $900 from last semester plus all the money from this semester and he didn’t know which classes were available.

So I went to see the counselor, which is a that when I had started last semester was rude and talked to me as if I was retarded after asking her a question about my classes. While in her office she told me I couldn’t change my classes because there were none available. Which is total bull because I saw a girl change several of her classes when I failed at doing mine because I’m not allowed to access which classes are available because of my debt. The told me that I was lucky for receiving the crappy schedule they made for me, but I know she was just too lazy to check the available classes on her computer.

The “best” part of all is that I’m not allowed to attend my classes until I pay the money I owe from last semester. Thankfully the bank lent me money to pay for it. I’m just hoping that the reason my mom has been avoiding me isn’t because she spent that money on something else like how she spent the money I’ve been saving up since middle school and most of the money my dad sent me to buy books.

After I was done with visiting the university I was super frustrated with myself and mostly with my mother. She has been avoiding dealing with my university for a very long time. I understand it’s hard for her to pay the university when we’re one of the few that didn’t get a dime from financial aid because my mom makes a lot of money. The thing is that my mom has become kind of broke since she started dating her boyfriend. She spends lots of money on what he wants; she paid for his truck, his bar and trips he wanted to go to see sports and . So she spent thousands of dollars on that free loader, yet if her own daughter asks for money to buy food since there is none at the house she gets pissed and says I’m annoying. Well, sorry mom that there's nothing to eat or drink in our house and I want to be on a diet. But this time it’s about my education and my future.

 Knowing that my mom was tight on money, I asked if I could take a year off to work. She got pissed, saying that if I take a year off I’d get too comfortable with the life style and never start college. So I agreed to going, still wanting to find a job. The thing is that it’s hard to get a job without a car, it’s pointless to get a car without a license, and it’s hard getting a license when your mom doesn’t want you driving. I ing had to wait until I turned 18 to get my drivers permit since I don’t need a parent to be present anymore, but I can’t hire someone to give me driving lessons without a job to pay for it.

My mom agreed when I asked her last semester to give me a job, but that was bull. She gave the job she had offered me to my brother’s girlfriend. And when another position opened in November she gave it to a random guy that I think is still in high school.

All my friends are getting jobs thanks to their parents and I, who has a mother that OWNS a business, can’t get one.  On top of that, I have some experience; I tutored a girl on my first semester of my senior year and on my second semester I volunteered to be the assistant of a kindergarten teacher. I know that if I applied for a job I could get one, but I can’t apply when I know I don’t have a ride since public transportation does not exist on this stupid island.

Thankfully, starting at lunch, my luck kind of changed. Jorge’s mom got him a job and he’s going to ask if there’s a position available for me. If that does happen, I’ll be able to carpool with him. When I got home I fixed my curtains, something I’ve been meaning to do for a while. There turned out to be no internet and I can’t fix it since my brother’s room is locked. At first this frustrated me, but I felt better after giving it some thought. There won’t be much distractions throughout my day and I’ll be able to do things I’ve been wanting to do for a while.

Sometimes we have to take a deep breath when we feel like everything is going horrible and take a minute to think about the good things we have.