Emotionally drained~~

I can't really express my frustration or feelings on other social media sites since I have friends and family there so I'll just do it here~~

 

I'm miserable. Probably more miserable than I've ever been in my entire life.

University is hell on earth basically. Growing up it was so easy being the "smart kid". Never had to study a day in my life and that's what got me into a super good university but now... now I've become one of the dumb kids (sorry if that sounds harsh or pretentious, I'm quite the opposite). I'm failing nearly everything this semester already.

Intelligence was the one thing that gave me self-worth and that's being stripped away. 

I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm constantly distracted, I cry all the time, I lash out at people around me - I'm a mess and I hate everything. But I can't tell anyone. I can't leave school for fear I won't be readmitted from poor academic performance and just... from the fear that I'll never get the motivation to even reapply. 

I can't let my family down... I'm the first to go to college and everyone is rooting me on but I don't know if I can do it. 

I'm stuck.

I'm miserable and stuck in my worst nightmare. 

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Kailu-Yunjae #1
It's funny and not funny but reading you, I feel like I could have wrote that blog post myself ^^ You're not alone in this world trust me. We'll find a way. We kinda have to but still. I survive by telling myself that some day, it will all be in the past just like high school is finally in the past, even though I thought it would never end. Some times are so ing hard but time continues. So anyway, I hate everyone around me as well :) In a way, I also hate myself too because just like you said, brain was always my thing too and now it doesn't seem like it anymore. It's like our bodies have failed us suddenly.
JYJ_JJ #2
I'm miserable too, please cheer up, everything will get better, my best friend let me down, she has now 3 new friends, and doesn't talk to me anymore, and we live in the same house, i feel like i'm dying, but you and me won't let the people who love us down
cathe_ #3
I also had a hard time during college. My mom died before I went to college and I'm not really close with my relatives. Throughout college I felt I had no one supporting me. Now I'm already on my second year of working in a hospital. Honestly, looking back, I don't know how I was able to go through all that suffering. I can't say everything will eventually be better because to tell you the truth I still feel I'm at my lowest point in life, but it gets a little better, better than before.
Little_Miss_Cry #4
Can I PM u? C:
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