it is a human norm to not always get what you want...but..does that mean in order to get what u want, hearts are shattered and promises are broken?

what the hell am i even saying? my thoughts are everywhere...

well, let me just start at the beginning..i mean...thats the only way you'll understand what i'm trying to ask...

so i have this guy bestfriend...well that's what we kept saying at each other.. 'best friend' but i've never actually properly placed him in the friend zone.

but maybe i was in his friendzone. the thing is, the things we do would make us look more like a couple rather than friends and honestly, he made my heart flutter.

we said our i love yous but we never labelled anything, never actually said that we were more than friends. and if you ask people around us, they would think we were lying if we said we weren't a couple. but thats the thing we never actually were more than friends. we were comfortable as we were, nothing more, nothing less. it was fun.

then we were seperated because we are doing our undergraduates on two different campuses thousands of miles away from each other. at the beginning, we promised to stay connected and that we'd update all the time what we were doing, what we ate, what time we slept and all the stupid little things. all those everyday texting became a once a month obligation. and now, seeing him with his other new friends, a tiny tingle happens in me. a hint of jealousy. but why jealous? and that tingling feeling when i see that he looks even better now....why??