I don't get guys

Titel is pretty self explanatory, but I really don't. For some reason I always manage to get attention from some guys and I swear I don't do anything to deserve it.

Like yesterday again, there's this guy I know from work (not a colleague but more of a supplier of our company). He knows me, he has seen me around and I've spoken to him on the phone many times. I admit sometimes we flirt a bit, but you know, it's just playing around. You have to understand that I'm not pretty, I'm fat, I'm short, I'm relatively old and I'm a tomboy. This guy is very well built and is an overal handsome guy, not only to my opinion, he kinda looks like Hugh Jackman in his Wolverne role, so let's call him Logan. We're both married and we know that about each other.

So we were having a conversation about comics and TV series, we both have a love for Marvel comics, anime and other stuff. He is also one of the only people who knew instantly what my tattoo represented. We were talking about Lego and the big Superheroes and Star Wars Lego boxes. he keeps eveything in mint condition while I like to built it. He told me he only had a small car on his desk and that that is about the only thing he plays with, the rest he keeps in the boxes. So I asked him what it was by e-mail. He wrote back to me, "I'll app you a picture." I already found that odd, since he couls send it per e-mail, but ok. So I told him that that was ok. He e-mailed e back saying that he didn't have my number and gave me his number. I'm kinda gullible so I sent him a message through my phone. And like he promised he send me an e-mail of a Lego batmobile he had on his desk and of Hot Rod.

And then things got worse.... Suddenly we were talking about and the difference with "normal" and stuff. Sufice to say that the messages got steamier and steamier. So we kept flirting and teasing each other. Now we kinda dared each other to do something once we see eachother again. I'm kinda curious how that will go.... We kept on texting each other till we went to sleep.

As I said this is not the first time something like this happens, and when I read back everything I wrote I'm not being ty or really direct or blunlty saying I'll have with them or something. But for some reason guys keep on sending me messages with a ual undertone. I just don't get it, I'm not complaining, getting attention from nice looking guys is always nice, but I really don't get it. I'm not that much of anything.

Just had to get this of my chest, maybe one of you'll read this but even if nobody does, it's ok.... I had to vent and I did. Now I'll go back to texting Logan.....

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likeazombie #1 Oct 20, 2015 09:39:07

While there's the whole thing about inner beauty and how your personality and the fact you have a lot of things in common are good reasons to why he's interested in you, remember that being a tomboy and/or fat does not make you not attractive :) You can be beautiful, y and charming the same way, so while I understand you because I see myself the same way (ugly, fat, short, tomboy) try not to think so low of yourself. At some point you can even ask him what he likes on you or what makes him attracted to you and then you will solve the mistery. hahaha Meanwhile, just go for it and enjoy the guy!

haaitje #2 Oct 20, 2015 09:26:34

Thanks all, I didn't mean to bother you, but I don't have any self-esteem when it comes to my looks, and yes I know that that is shallow of me. And you are right, there's something as inner beauty and I advocate for that only I don't see it when it comes to myself. Again, it's shallow of me. And I get that for most of you the issue is more of me connecting with him instead of with my husband.
I really do appreciate your thoughts though, it helps to get my mind clearer. :-)

Hephaistos #3 Oct 20, 2015 08:35:20

I wrote a long message to this, but I deleted it because I don't think you really care about what happens or about the real issue which is you responding in kind to a guy that you should steer clear of. The only point I'd like to make is that you're being shallow if you think that all people (including those who are married) who are attractive have some sort of physical lower standard for who they are attracted to. That's BS. The concept of "inner beauty" actually is a thing, which, without subtext, means that you don't have to be a model to gain the attention of models.

Lucky-seven777 #4 Oct 20, 2015 07:55:39

well, if you're uncomfortable say NO, clearly and loudly, when you're unsure say NO, only when you're 100000000%.10^50000000000000000000000= x% (x= the answer) sure you're allowed to say yes, BUT REMEMBER YOU'RE MARRIED, IT WOULD BE STUPID AND WRONG FOR YOU GUYS TO DO SOMETHING UAL

WillyTian #5 Oct 20, 2015 07:28:30

Some ppl are just too erted...it applies to both guys and girls c:

CaptSunRiser #6 Oct 20, 2015 06:53:52

As a guy, I have to agree with Chen. Most of the time, most of us just think with our . Especially if, by the sounds of it, you're encouraging it with being flirtatious and even now allowing and accepting messages that are becoming more ual. Whilst it is a bit of an ego boost for you to have someone like him to flirt with you, there is probably a little voice in the back of his head that's thinking "Well, maybe I can make it go a little bit further and, eventually, maybe these flirty messages might turn into something more physical." Even though he is married, he quite probably sees it that you're attracted to him, which gives him a huge ego boost, and I wouldn't be surprised if he is playing mental fantasy images of his "affair" with you in his head. His messages are becoming more ual with you, so I am pretty sure he is already playing ual images of you in his mind as if you're the latest blockbuster movie.

HopelessMidori #7 Oct 20, 2015 05:58:39

You don't get him as to why he flirts with you? Hmm? Are you sure? You do entertain him, you know. You guys are both married but still talk---even to the point of flirting. Of course he's hit on you. Men are like that, don't you think?