well.....i havent posted in a while...a long while and the first thing that i ramble about is how miserable i actually am.

i was in a bad place a few weeks ago...i have never been the type of person who tell others my problems. its just not me. my problems are locked away, stored in my brain for me to think through and wallow in. i wanted to die, i wanted to leave, i wanted things to end but the right friends kept me in check and brought me back. i cried myself to sleep, i smoked every last piece of cigs i could get my hands on and i drank every last drop of alcohol there was. but i'm better now, i stopped crying, i stopped smoking, i stopped drinking, and i just stopped.

i really dont get guys like everytime. i never can get them. a piece of advice boys...if you are in it for the game then just leave because i really dont have time to play games with you. if you are in it for real then stay forever. basically, i just have the worst luck in the dating game. period.

but a few days ago things turned for the worst once more and again i feel lost.

for starters, i lost literally everything when my phone decided to give up when i needed it the most. all the pictures and datas i needed for my final year project poof lost gone forever. all the passwords and bank accounts and reminders of appointments i had GONE! even the little scribbled notes i had for my last story gone with the wind. i tried to fix my phone but quote the guy at the repair shop "beyond repair"

*cries*

then today my laptop began goin haywire. first there was the blue screen so my roomate fortunately an electrical engineer majoring in computers came to the rescue and fixed that only to be added by the laptop adapter going boom and once again technology bailed on me. i had to put out some money just to buy a new adapter that had me running in and out of more than 5 shops because non of them sold that specific brand. talk about technology hating me...this was more of technology loathing me.

so i have been lost and out of touch.

Goodbye.