Warning: This post over here does not have anything to do with AFF or the Kpop Idols. So for those who is not interested, you are welcome to continue your boredness in reading other stories ;)

So... i have an announcement to make.

I HAVE A BOYFRIEND! :D

wooooooo!! 

Yes, after having 2 years and 6 months of being single, I finally found a boyfriend. Like most of the relationships now, we met in no other than, FACEBOOK! Yes, how unoriginal -.-

So, about my boy... well, his name is Kenny and he's seventeen, like me. But he's older for about 2 months. He's really sweet and he's protective. When he saw that my friends teasing me about a boyfriend, he 'warned' them not to tease me, which was too cute! Oh and he gets happy when I get jealous over him acting closely to girls. He says that it's cute and it means that i cared about him and that I loved him -.- jeez..

Okay, At first, we started out normal. I mean, there wasn't a spark between us two immediately. I always judge people by their first impression on me and if I chat with a person or talk to someone, I immediately catergorise them. For me, some might be 'boyfriend' potential while some guys are in the 'friends only' section. You get what I mean. Well, at first, we didn't really spark. Conversations are normal and such. But we got closer after that, due to his sudden sadness over his ex girlfriend. He was really sad at that time and me, being the old boring having nothing to do me, I decided to ask him what's wrong. Being someone who gets INSOMNIA since my holidays, I chatted with him till it was like, 2 in the morning. I gave him advice and such and we became close. So everything started getting good after that. We 'chatted' more and more. One thing led to another and suddenly, we became really flirty with each other. We sent hearts and all and teased each other. At first it was just fun but then I slowly started to like him more. He made me smile whenever he wrote on my wall and I find him cute. He's really sweet, and i mean really, REALLY sweet, like sugar ;) I started to anticipate him replying me back and when he didn't for the past two days, my mood was seriously low. My friends all say that I already fell hard for him, but to me... it wasn't. But they kept saying that I'm denying it to myself -.- So i started thinking again.

The truth is, I was scared. I was scared of falling for someone, and when he doesn't like me back, I'll be really hurt. I'm scared of it only being a one sided thing. Because I wasn't sure if he's only saying sweet things to me or does he say that to all the girls. So I started STALKING, yes stalking -.- how embarassing. I went to see whether he flirts with other girls too. But turns out, he didn't. So it was kind of a relieve. One of my guy friends added him in facebook (EWW?!!) and he said he'd help me with it. My friend asked him what he thinks of me and such but before he could tell me, Kenny suddenly 'inbox' me and asked what kind of guy I like. He confessed to me that he liked me. (THE FURK?!!) And of course, I was seriously... SERIOUSLY IN SHOCK! Anyways, one thing led and alot of embarassing awkward conversations, we're a couple! YAY!

okay, not so fast! There are still complications now. WARNING! Well, Kenny's also a Taiwanese like me, but he doesn't live in the same country as me. He's currently studying in Singapore while I live in Brunei right now. As you can see, it's also a long distance relationship. Being someone who gets hurt all the time in my past relationships, it's kind of hard on me. Since he's not with me, I can't really know what he's doing. We can only use facebook or MSN or webcams to communicate with each other. Phones and messages can't really take place because it's expensive. Anyways, even though he's really great, I still feel insecure. Kenny found out that I was kind of depressed and he asked me what's wrong. I told him I just feel insecure. For me, If I have a boyfriend, I'm very loyal. So it's kind of hard because he's far away in Singapore, with ALOT of hot girls out there. My boy ain't bad looking. He's gorgeous, so you know how I feel. The fact that I'm scared of getting hurt again kind of ruins the whole relationship. Kenny told me that he'll wait for me to regain the trust and he said he won't force it but still... I hate feeling this way. I told him I trusts him but at the same time, I'm scared, meaning I don't trust him at all. The fact that he's so sweet and protective and caring and gorgeous just kind of adds in the surreal feeling i get. I still couldn't believe that someone like him likes me. It's like, too good to be true.

Kenny asked me if I'm worried about him and his ex girlfriend. I asked him if he still loves her and he answered that the feelings cant be erased immediately. He said there are still feeling remained but he loves me now. He told me he wants us to last long but I kind of doubt it. I'm being really suspecious and I hated that. I asked him about his past relationships and he told me he had a lot of ex girlfriends before, either in Taiwan, Singapore or even Brunei. (Two of his exs are my juniors -.- ) I told him I don't mind and I asked why his past relationships didn't work out. He told me that he either got bored, or that he still has feelings for his previous ex. So... HOW DO YOU THINK I FELT?!!!

I know I'm being ridiculous and such but the protective side of me comes out everytime. It's hard to gain trust in guys again. Especially someone as sweet as him. I don't really mind that he had alot of ex girlfriends because he's with me. But I still feel insecure. The more sweet and caring he is, the more I'm scared that my heart can't bear if we ever break up. What should I do? I need advice...