I got into EXO... almost a year ago. Same day as Chanyeol's birthday (well his birthday in Canada.... stupid date line), I remember my friend liked them so I wanted to like them. I looked up 'EXO Members' and started looking through them. 

My first impression, on Chanyeol, was the complete opposite of what he is. He had the glasses and first seeing him you don't know how tall he is, so I thought he was this little cutie like Baekhyun. Apparently I was wrong. I also thought Minseok, or I knew him as 'Xiumin' at the time, looked a lot like a girl, and to this day I still think it. But as I was scrolling through the names, one caught my eye.

For some reason Google had a variety of their names. Some of their names were stage names, I actually remember seeing 'Zhang Yixing' but beside it was 'Suho' so it was confusing. But, anyways, there was this one name I saw: 'Kim Jongdae'.

My exact thoughts were: "That is so Asian" and so I decided to look him up. If you didn't know, I tend to choose my biases, to this day, because of their names. My bias is Tiffany because of her name, my bias is Kiseop, because of his name, my bias is Kikwang because of his name. Some others but yeah. So I looked at his photos 'EXO Chen' and I laughed again because his stage name isn't even Korean but his name is Korean. Don't worry, he would've had me fooled to be Chinese if I didn't see his birth name first. 

But there was this photo that made me fall in love:

I swear to the holy gods, I squealed and said "HE'S SO CUTE" And then I looked him up on Tumblr. By the way, when looking up his name I forgot what it was so I put in 'kim' and clicked the first one, which, was 'Kim Taehyung' aka 'V' from BTS. 

But, looking through the tag all I remember was just loving him more and more. And definitely more when I saw this:

Well, it wasn't this photo but it was this moment. And one thing lead to another, and I became a hardcore XiuChen fan. 

This is what lead for my hatred towards XiuHan, and my love towards HunHan... Kinda. I'll explain that later. But Xiumin and Jongdae became the only members I could look at and know it was them. I so decided to get more into them. 

I remember watching Overdose, well, not really, I listened to it. The whole EXO version, and I remember going: "It sounds like Jongdae" listening to the line after the first chorus. To this day I still don't know why I thought that. It was probably just because. I had no idea what Jongdae sounded like, I had no idea how tall he was, good think I didn't put my expectations to high hahahsorry, but it just sounded like Jongdae. And it turns out, I was right. The irony. 

For a very long time, I shipped XiuChen for like... a month. I remember spitting at XiuHan but then thinking: "Hey, since it's some big love triangle, why don't we just ship Luhan with Chen?" And so I did that, and it's a thing. And just:

Of course Luhan is looking aesthetic as always but JONGDAE. He looks so cute. So LuChen. I started shipping that. For not so long.

And then I got into EXO-K, and I memorized their names. I was about 2 months in and I only knew, and liked, EXO-M. First impressions on EXO-K later because this is about Jongdae. So I memorized all of their faces, and then I watched the beloved 'EXO's Showtime'. Nothing made me laugh as hard and cry as hard as EXO's Showtime. The first time I watched ep. 12 I cried, and I will always cry. But, because of this, I remember I actually shipped this before, when getting to know EXO-K I remember thinking: 'hey baekhyun's the main vocal so let's ship them together'. 

Since I was kinda shipping them beforehand, I was screaming by ep. 4. You know, seeing as there is next to none HunHan moments in EXO's Showtime, I was quite happy with ep. 4 because of the major BaekChen moments and the biggest HunHan moment in EXO's Showtime. So, yeah, I started shipping BaekChen. A lot. 

And then, other stuff happened, I started shipping BaekYeon, which actually wavered my bias standing greatly. For so long I was like: 'oh my god is baekhyun my bias no my bias has been and always will be jongdae' so all that took was a few Jongdae videos and stuff here and there, I know who my bias is. But, shipping BaekYeon, lead me into shipping ChenYeol. I actually shipped ChenYeol all the way back in January, my friend Justin, his bias is Chanyeol, so we decided to ship them together. I also started shipping ChenFany (I would like to say I am the founder of that ship), Jongdae is my ultimate guy bias and Tiffany is my ultimate girl bias. I would love for them to get married.

Another fact is, the reason why I bias Luna is because of Jongdae. I found it easier than to actually try and crack ship my bias with Jongdae, so I just biased Luna. The downfall to that is now my bias is Victoria and Sulli. I love Luna, but I seem to prefer Victoria and Sulli. 

I have a EXO Wolf sweater with 'Chen 21' on it. I love wearing it, and shorts with his Scorpion symbol and his name. I have a face mask to with the same, a scorpion and his name. I also have a 'EXODUS' album that has his face on it, and his photocard came inside. I was so happy because people were saying: 'I don't want to have to buy many albums to get my biases photocard' and ha guess what, I got mine. 

My love for him never wavered until after I drove Baekhyun out of my life. Baekhyun was just... a phase, I guess. A fling, and I know Jongdae deserves the love I give him. 

If you are reading this, and it has come to the end, you will notice that I haven't typed 'Chen' once unless with quotations or in a ship name. Why is that? Since I didn't know of his stage name when I first saw him, I feel like it isn't necessary for me to call him that. I have had many run-ins with fans asking why I call him that more often than 'Chen', because it's his real name I only know him by what he does in front of the screen, and yeah, I understand that. But, I have grown attached to the man that is shown on screen, whether that be Jongdae or Chen. I feel like he has taken a part of my life, and has become a part of my daily routine. I love him, from afar, and I know he doesn't see me as an individual, but you know, I don't mind that. I think he's a great man, and I would love to see him get married to a girl Tiffany that makes him as happy as he makes me. I hope he can have that. 

Anyways, enough with the sentiment, I wish Kim Jongdae and anyone else born on this day to have A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

I thank you for....

For keeping Minseok company,

For helping Luhan smile,

For giving Kris a hard time,

For giving Junmyeon a break from being umma,

For helping Yixing,

For being there for Baekhyun,

For not leaving Chanyeol out,

For giving Kyungsoo hope in EXO,

For making sure Zitao understands, 

For giving Jongin another mom, and yet a friend,

And for caring for our Maknae, Sehun.

I thank you for being you. 
Happy birthday.