This is really weird...

Ummm....hi? Haha, I'm sorry this is very weird and maybe even kind of wrong of me to come back and check AFF and all that after all this time.

Man, it's been like...what?? A year? And some change even? I haven't written anything in that long. Well, papers and all that, but it doesn't really count.

It's just so damn weird to be on here again! And I feel a little scared - I'm sure my subscribers absolutely hate me - but I wanted to just say hi, apologize and maybe actually write a finale for my ChenLay so I can at least wrap things up, y'know?

(I'm soooo sorry, but this is so weird and I'm sure whoever is reading this is sooo mad!!)

The thing is, I went off EXO. Members were leaving, school was getting crazy, my home life was...a mess! I was too stressed and busy and sad to write. I didn't go on tumblr for them, I didn't watch their videos or listen to their music. I went wayyyy off of EXO and even just kpop in general! I didn't talk to the friends I made either which is, like, the rudest, most awful thing ever. I feel really bad for just dropping off without another word...That's so bad, oh my god, I'm really sorry!

What's weird is recently...I went back into the full swing of things. I listen to them all day, every single day now and I go on tumblr and I ship....But I felt a bit weird when I wanted to write again. I mean, it's been so long that A) I'm probably not even good anymore haha and B) you guys! I'm not ashamed to admit I'm a little scared because I was really rude and left without a trace! I don't think it's fair that I all of the sudden wanna write and expect to be accepted again, y'know?? Haha, maybe I'm just paranoid...Hopefully I'm just paranoid.

Also, a lot of my ships have changed. XingDae is my FOREVER otp with no acceptions, but I really don't ship HunHan or XiuTao any longer with the abscence of those members. Funny enough, I finally after all these years have given into the ship I've always, always, always loved which is SeHo XDD Please don't judge me hahaha~ I've always loved them but I recognized HunHan's chemistry and went with that but deep down, that's what I loved! *hides in a corner*

So...yeah....After all my dumb talking, if you're still here, thank you! And if you're still here, maybe...leave a comment? Even if it's to yell at me, I totally understand! But I just...dunno what to do. Do I write again? Just creep and read fics? Go away entirely.....?

Thank you. Still love you guys! You're all amazing! I'm sorry!!! ...thank you again <3

Comments

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taylormarelagain #1 Jun 23, 2015 20:56:47

Welcome welcome welcome back ♡

I doubt a single person could hate you, and I know I'm just happy that you're doing better than before. Your health and your wellbeing should always come first and I'm glad you took time to focus on yourself ♡

nightingalesatnight #2 Jun 23, 2015 15:49:28

Welcome back!!

CallMeN #3 Jun 23, 2015 15:28:27

You should right again if you want!!!!

deerestwinter #4 Jun 23, 2015 10:19:33

still here!!! and i may or may not rereading your fics the entire time you went MIA but it's okay :) i totally understand what you feel but know what? writing is kind of therapeutic so i hope you continue writing regardless of everything but it's still your choice :) we're just here (creeping through your awesome fics LOL) ^^

and i miss you!!! hehe

ElatedFangirl #5 Jun 23, 2015 03:52:28

Aww don't feel like that. Do what you want! :) I would read your fics if you do write. Just please be happy :) If you want to write then please do so. :D

esteceline #6 Jun 23, 2015 01:11:23

I really love your xingdae fanfics too much. LIKE SINCE THE BEGINNING I REALLY LOVED XINGDAE...They are just too real..I really love your writing and I hope you continue your beautiful fanfics! Thank you!

moccaslova #7 Jun 23, 2015 00:35:26

I love your fics. It really hooks me into Xingdae. But everything is your choice. I know what kind of pain this fandom could be.

OppasKitten #8 Jun 22, 2015 23:19:46

I don't think we (ever?) talked before, however I just saw this blog and wanted to tell you.....do what makes you happy!! Of course readers and friends are important, but first and foremost do what will make you happy, whatever that is! Stepping away from everything sounds like it was just what you needed back then, and if you wanna/can write then I say go ahead and jump back on that wagon! I'm like the absolute worst and literally can never finish a fic or update mine properly v.v which i know it's not fair to my readers but :/ writing when ur feeling it isn't really fair to anyone tbh. If you feel like writing, then write ^^ if you feel like reading, then read :3 You do you oo, do whatever makes you happy and have no regrets ^^ people may be upset but I think it may have been long enough that they're not upset anymore :3 Don't be afraid!! If someone is upset at you for doing what you had to do to be healthy/happy then they're not worth your time 8l