WHY DO I KEEP LOOKING LIKE THE BAD GUY?!

WAE? WAE? WAE? WHY? WHY? WHY?

WHAT IS THIS... MYSTICAL.. IDEA.. OF FREAKIN' GIVING ME AN ATTITUDE TO MAKE ME FEEL GUILT AND FRUSTRATION RIGHT BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS?

WHAT IS THIS?

*deeply exhales*

If I yell this out on Facebook I will get yelled at, if I yell this out on Tumblr I will get yelled at, none of my friends go on AFF anymore so this is one place where I am safe to vent.

*inhales*

*exhales*

*puffs cheeks out*

*sighs*

EVERYTHING JUST HAS TO HAPPEN AT THE VERY LAST MINUTE?!

OLD BEST FRIEND COMES BACK IN TOWN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME AND SHE CALLS ME UP WITH ALL THESE DIFFERENT PLANS SHE EXPECTS ME TO FOLLOW, LIKE SUDDENLY GO TO THE MALL THEN WATCH THIS MOVIE THEN GO TO MY OTHER FRIENDS HOUSE THEN SLEEP THE FREAK OVER THE COUPLE DAYS BEFORE I GO BACK TO SCHOOL- NO- OF ALL THE CHANCES SHE HAD, SHE COULD HAVE CAME BACK AT A MUCH BETTER TIME WHEN I HAD NO CRAP TO DEAL WITH ON BREAK. NOW I HAVE TO PREPARE THINGS FOR SCHOOL AGAIN AND SHE EXPECTS ME TO DRIVE FOR 3 HOURS TO THIS MALL TO WATCH A MOVIE?!

, no.

AIGOO, now I'm debating with myself whether if I have enough courage to ask my mom to go hangout last minute and sleep over last minute with a girl she hates?

-____- *breathe* And since my friend is someone my mom disapproves of, it's going to be a billioin times harder to go see her.

and if I don't go visit today or sleepover today at my friends house today just to see her... I will get yelled at and shunned for eternity.

WHATTHEHELLISTHISMOTHAFUSHIGOOBLAHBLFGKSFHKLAHLKFHAIHAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Heh... wow... writing a frustration letter does help.. I never knew that..

because now... i stopped breathing heavily... i looked up... and laughed to myself..

HAHA, this whole situation is sooooo funny.... why am I blaming myself for not going over and hanging out with a good old buddy that I haven't seen in soooooo long but I can't because school is more important and once we go to school we just have to deal with so many years in the butthole to study and learn extra shiz we won't use in life and once we graduate we'll be smart and have this good education which will help us get the jobs we want and we'll succeed in life and THEN I will use my husbands motha in money to go out and see you at the mall. Okay? Okay then.

Now, while I'm still... about to go into my 11th year of highschool... I sure as hell have enough time to go.. see ..you.. later..and..

well how the hell am I supposed to go see her later? When she lives like 4 hours away from me? And it's rare for her to visit our small little town and now I feelt guilt. Guilt, guilt. guilt. everywhere. all around me. I can't breathe in this guilt because I just realized

I planned out my whole future with my success and family and me taking my husbands money? What am I saying?

.____. 

*looks down in shame*

This is like... my first real frustration letter... and when I'm mad... I get really random.. because I don't want to get mad... so whenever I get in a fight I change it up to be as a joke so then everyone laughs about it in the end...

Hm... alright then... I vented out my anger... now what? 

I must think of what to do but when I think I get mad then I vent and yeeeeeeeah.. I can't call my bestfriend to vent about this problem because she's out at the mall with my old other best friend that I'm supposed to be seeing at the moment..

pathetic life I have right now...

AND HURRAAAAY MY MOM JUST WOKE UP WHICH PRESSURES ME BECAUSE I SERIOUSLY HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION AT THIS VERY. MOMENT.

What should I say..? I don't feel like hanging out today, I want to be the nerd I am and prepare for school. But I want to see my old buddy that I haven't seen in a long time and this may be the only chance I get until maybe next break. And when I say next break, I mean NEXT break as in SUMMER break .___.

JINJAH!? NANEUN JIGEUMI SANGAN GEOLAEL EUL HAE YA WAE?! WAE?!

.___. okay then. I can relate to an angry korean person like in the drama I was watching. 

Why... couldn't she just hangout in the middle of my winter break when I was doing absolutely nothing? Why.. did she pick last minute.. the couples days before school starts... to go hangout?

I seriously don't know what to do right now? Prepare for school like a nerd because that's my news years resolution.. to stay focused in school. OR  skip that and just gather up my courage and ask my asian mom and hopefully I won't get lectured about school again.

>_< blehh....