Wonshik breathes out, clinging to the phone like a lifeline. "Do you really have to go . . . ?"

On the other side, there's a sigh. "Not right this second, but I have to go to bed soon . . ." Taekwoon's voice is serene and Wonshik feels at peace. "I don't want to though."

Wonshik shakes his head like Taekwoon might be able to see. "I don't want you to go either." he pouts, hoping that if he just acts cute enough, Taekwoon, lover of all things cute, will stay anyway.

Taekwoon chuckles and his heart beats a little faster. He never thought in a thousand years he'd be comfortably talking to Taekwoon, someone who acted so aloof and chic online. Taekwoon let him see his inbox once and it was filled with all sorts of confessions and requests to be friends; he hadn't understood how someone could be so popular like this, but then again, he'd gotten a crush on him too.

It wasn't any big deal then, just some unrealistic expectations after Taekwoon posted a few selfies and things like that. Then, Taekwoon complimented one of his artworks and it just sort of . . . happened from there. They exchanged Kakao handles and eventually Skyped, Wonshik got to the point where he'd send him Snapchats of literally anything he was doing at the moment, and finally, they exchanged phone numbers.

Now, at night, they would sit and talk for hours about anything and everything, and in Wonshik's chest sat a heaviness he never felt before. It was both good and . . . not so good, exhilarating and scary, because that's how Taekwoon was. Still, it wasn't just him.

While Taekwoon lived in Seoul, Wonshik lived in Busan, way on the other side of the country.

He sighed.

Taekwoon hummed. "What is it?" he asked quietly, and his voice sent waves of shivers through Wonshik's body.

"I'm just tired," he lies, but the way Taekwoon hums again tells him he knows he's lying.

He wants to ask, just like he always does, but Taekwoon's been busy with school and so has he. They don't have time to worry about things like meeting each other.

"I miss you," he says, and then bites his lip. Because he does miss Taekwoon, because they hardly talk anymore, there's just too much, and they only have these times, late at night when they're both half-asleep. His nostrils start to burn.

Taekwoon shushes him, tries to soothe him, but the tears are already running down Wonshik's face. He doesn't know what to do and it all seems so silly; how could he have fallen this hard for someone he's never met? But then when they Skype, and he sees Taekwoon's tiny smiles and Taekwoon's adoring eyes, he hopes he can't be the only one.

"We'll be okay," Taekwoon whispers, and Wonshik wonders if he's made him cry too.

He takes a deep breath. "I know . . . I know." And he really does, because it isn't the end of the world, and maybe it could be a lot worse.

It's quiet for a few moments. Wonshik worries he either actually made Taekwoon cry or just made the moment awkward by crying himself, but Taekwoon never cared about that.

"You're so cute . . ." Taekwoon finally says, and his voice is sleepy and heavy, and Wonshik's heart beats faster again as he wipes at his reddening face.

After looking at the clock, Wonshik realizes they've stayed up far longer than they should. He turns on his side and curls into himself a little. He feels guilty that he doesn't want to tell Taekwoon what time it is, but he probably knows anyway and maybe he doesn't want to go either. Wonshik's chest aches.

"You should go . . ." he finally admits, and Taekwoon shudders out a sigh, and Wonshik feels worse.

"Are you sure?"

". . . No."

Taekwoon sighs.

"But you have to anyway." It's weird, when usually the conversation is reversed and Taekwoon's the one urging him to get to sleep, but Taekwoon has always been the more important one between them. "I mean, we can still talk tomorrow and all . . ." he insists, trying to convince himself to let go too.

This time when Taekwoon sighs, Wonshik knows he's made up his mind to force himself to sleep. "You hang up first, okay?" Taekwoon tells him, and he doesn't want to. Even though he says they can talk tomorrow, what if they can't? What if something bad happens to one of them? The other would never even know, they'd just call and message and text and worry. The fragility of their connection here made Wonshik wheeze; as strong as their feelings were for each other, it could all be broken, just like that.

"Okay . . ." he croaks.

Some longer moments pass and it's silence again. Taekwoon's breathing is trying to even out and Wonshik's trying to will himself to hang up. It goes on like this for what feels like hours, and then Wonshik knows he can't put it off anymore.

"Goodnight," he whispers, afraid that if he speaks any louder, he'll start crying again.

". . . Goodnight." Taekwoon whispers back, and something else hangs between them. Neither is sure if they want to say it for not.

Before Wonshik can, he forces himself to hit end.

His phone thumps to the bed, and he curls tighter on himself, breathing out heavily and trying to stave off the tightness in his chest.

It's not always so depressing, and when it is, Wonshik cheers himself up by imagining all the things they'll do when they meet up. Go to the beach, eat too much street food and get sick, ride bikes, get lost in the city . . . Anything and everything, as long as their together.

When he thinks about it this time, he sees them sitting on a jetty; sun setting, seagulls squawking in the distance, the salty breeze from the ocean making their hair sticky . . . And they're holding hands, fingers laced together, running their thumbs over each other. It's all quiet and perfect, and finally Wonshik thinks, This is the moment I want to live in forever.

Warmth flutters his chest, loosens the cold tightness, and he rolls onto his back. He stares up at the ceiling in the dark, not that he can actually see anything, but he can't close his eyes.

He hopes that Taekwoon can't either.

ok i was late today i'm sorry i had an optometrist appointment n then i took a lot of naps i was hella tired but HEY wontaek is reigning supreme over the vixx fandom right now isn't that just the gr8st this is my lifelong dream/nightmare come tru!!

hey btw i still rly love comments i'm always a for comments so i mean if that's a thing u might be interested in . . .