Nestled in the bustling streets of Seoul between an ever changing shop and a funeral home, one could find a homely burger joint with barely any reputation at all. Min’s Burgers had opened and shut down more than once and was the product of five high school friends trying their best to make their savings work without help from their parents. But with rat infestations and too many accidents to count, the business is barely scraping by even if the walls are bursting at the seams with colorful personalities. There are only two regular customers and the reviews from passer-bys hardly garner the restaurant anymore attention than it previously had. It was a hole in the wall with no recognition, but to the five guys running the place it was more than home.

 

Above the burger joint was a small apartment that hardly accommodated the boys, but the three bedrooms worked to their advantage. One room was shared with two twin size beds while the other two rooms were given to the more rambunctious that needed their own rooms. The fifth found himself a small home in what was one could assume was an office space or linen closet, however he was content to have his own space so long as he kept his distance from the others. The entirety of the home was complete with each boy contributing the best way they knew how.

 

~

 

It was just like any other day in the middle of April, Jongdae was half propped up against the counter that his rag lay forgotten on as he stared out of the windows in hopes of a glimpse of his crush across the street. Chanyeol was friends with the owner of the Chinese shop across the street, The Huns, and was possibly the biggest dork in universe but Jongdae didn’t seem to mind. The gaudy neon dragon flashed in the window obnoxiously, the lights riveting off of the damp concrete and causing a slight glare. Just as the bus boy was about to frown, an image dashed by on roller blades, the noise of wheels grinding across wet cement distracting long enough for Jongdae to appreciate the body of a half clothed Tao.

 

Taking half of a moment, he leaned forward slightly on his elbows to check out the boy’s rear end before his gaze was lifted toward the image of a tall, lanky college student making his way into the restaurant across the way. Chanyeol had met Jongdae in one of their college classes and the shorter man had been smitten from the start. However he barely made Chanyeol’s radar, even if they seemed to live in social circles that eclipsed one another far too often to be coincidence.

 

When a forlorn sigh escaped his lips, there was a sudden command from the bellows of the kitchen. “Dae! Back to work! This shop doesn’t just clean itself you know.” Minseok was the cook and the heart of the restaurant. It had initially been his idea to start up the place and it had been well planned in the beginning. But no one accounted for floods or accidents that ended up with Baekhyun and Yixing in the hospital. It probably would have worked out fine if life hadn’t happened. Or at least that’s what Minseok told himself late at night.

 

Scanning from his spot behind the grill, he double checked to see if everyone was at least being some what productive. Jongdae was half assed cleaning the countertop like usual, Yixing had already finished the tables and was sitting the back tinkering with his portable piano, and Baekhyun was hopefully downstairs grinding the meat for patties. The only one missing was Kyungsoo, but Minseok wasn’t all too worried. If anything Kyungsoo was one of the more reliable ones, even if he had a bit of a devious streak in him.

 

The sound of the door opening had him looking up as two customers walked in, Jongin from next door and Joonmyun. Jongin was half dressed in his usual suit, a lingering smell of decay clung to his button down shirt however as he plopped down in his usual seat and Joonmyun joined him. The two of them were eternal bachelors despite what many people would think. Joonmyun had rejection anxiety ever since a woman turned him down after a minor role in a local movie in favor of a more popular actor. Ever since then, he always kept to himself, stuttering through sentences and getting over excited, launching into monologues everyone half listened to.

 

Jongin however was an approachable man with an open, honest face that hid a rather morbid humor beneath it. Being surrounded by dead bodies did not make it any easier for his comedian skills, since the feedback was a little lackluster. If the dead could talk, they would probably tell him his jokes were rancid. Which was the subject of the day’s conversation as he laid himself out on the countertop with a pout pressing at the corners of his full lips. “There isn’t anyone out there for me. I’m sure of it! I mean… you’ve even set me up on dates with your frisky cousins and it went no where.” He was struggling to speak over Yixing’s piano in the background, but he managed to still sound forlorn and hopeless. “I’m going to die a !”

 

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, seemingly summoned by the sound of a human being in distress, emerged from the basement, wiping their bloodied hands off on their aprons. The image was coupled with two evil grins that bordered on creepy as the approached their victim with no mercy. Well perhaps Baekhyun had a bit of mercy for Jongin, Kyungsoo however still felt slighted that their relationship had ended rather abruptly with no cause.

 

“You know Jongin, there’s actually a great way to find dates!” Baekhyun piped up as he whipped around the corner, dragging a conveniently placed laptop along with him.

 

Jongin looked at him warily, before glancing at Kyungsoo with an even more frightened expression as the shorter man continued on. “The internet clearly. If your options around here aren’t good enough for you, then maybe some weirdo out there in the world wide web will want you.” His eyes had disappeared into a too wide smile and Jongin was sure he could hear the mania hidden in the depths of his voice. The mortician had thought he was strange, but now he just knew that Kyungsoo had a streak of vindictiveness that ran deeper than the ocean. He was still struggling to resurface from it.

 

“Oh yes! I’m sure there must be….” Baekhyun was speaking in halted words as he scrolled through a search engine for a dating website suitable for Jongin to join.

 

It was during that moment that Jongin finally heard Joonmyun’s droning voice as he was halfway through an explanation of something. “... I’m telling you, those things are dangerous. It always ends in Chinese acrobatics and poison darts. Be careful Jongin, you never know what kinda crazies are out there, ‘specially since you can’t see their eyes. The eyes are what tells you they’re insane. One look into them and BAM!” He slammed his hands flat onto the countertop, making the young man jump in his seat. “Next thing you know, you’re getting letters from jail claiming you’re going to get married in ten years.”

 

Jongin had a look of utter horror on his face and began to quickly rethink Baekhyun’s plans as the youth beside him continues to yammer on about the positives to finding someone to date. It was making him shiver with terror and his mouth was hung open slightly in shock. The menacingly pleased look from Kyungsoo was hardly soothing him as he sat on the edge of his seat, reaching out slowly to tell his friend to stop, however that dream was short lived. “Done! I used one of the pictures from your website and gave you the bio of “works with dead people, by dying for live fun”... hopefully that won’t bring in skeevy people.”

 

The uncertain tone in Baekhyun’s voice almost made Jongin’s eye twitch, but before he knew it, Jongdae was reaching over to take the laptop. “Does this really find you a boyfriend? Maybe if I make myself a profile and say I’m a single man looking for a good hunk of booty, I might just get one to hit me up. But it better not be anyone with a flat back side, I couldn’t handle that at all.”

 

“But Dae, if you did make yourself a profile, you’d have to try to be alluring to someone…” Yixing had approached the counter with a good natured laugh as he plopped down on the opposite side of Joonmyun. “No one’s going to hit on you based on your face alone you know?”

 

The glare that came from Jongdae was enough to silence anyone else that might have protested and the restaurant fell into a tense peace. Jongin was sitting with his back rigid and Kyungsoo was staring him down. Baekhyun had moved from his seat to the back of the kitchen, humming softly the whole way, and Joonmyun was looking on with Jongdae as they tried to craft himself a profile worthy of others.

 

It was during this silence that the door swung open again and a man dressed in a pressed uniform walked in with a cryptic look chiseled onto his baby face. With gloved hands, he walked through the restaurant with a trained eye. Luhan was the health inspector for the district and had found pleasure in tearing down the burger joint whenever he could. The man felt slighted by Baekhyun when he had stolen away Minseok in high school with this seedy dive. They had dated, but Minseok had broken it off to focus on his career. Luhan had scoffed at the idea, he knew without a doubt that the cook was banging it out with that scrawny set of screeching lungs.

 

Minseok had emerged from the kitchen to watch him, his expression wary just as Jongin’s had been as the delicate man looked over everything. “I see this place hasn’t exceeded its normal levels of disgusting.” The words were spoken with such disdain as he continued to look, carefully scrutinizing every inch. Most of the time there was nothing wrong with the slightly run down joint, but Luhan would occasionally find things purposely just to annoy the ‘couple’ and their friends.

 

However that day seemed to have a certain shine to it as the Chinese man spotted a green smudge on the wall and climbed over the seats to get to it. His eyes were narrowed and he looked to be hunting down an animal as he scraped a bit up and started to mutter to himself. “This is… it looks to be… oh my… I need to test this immediately…” Without a further word, he disappeared out of the door to his van with his swab held carefully.

 

“What do you think that was about?” Minseok asked in a cautious voice as he waited.

 

Jongdae however had looked up at the dramatic scene and quirked an eyebrow. “Dunno, but I dare Xing to eat it…” His grin twisted mischievously as he turned back to his profile, giving it the final touches, listing ‘hung like a horse’ in his interests. Yixing however, dismissed the dare easily and returned to his piano as they waited for Luhan’s verdict.

 

No less than five minutes later, fresh burgers were in front of Jongin and Joonmyun as Luhan stepped in and waved a flyer dramatically through the air. “Shut it down! You have green mold and the entire building needs to be quarantined immediately. Drop your food and get out!” Minseok was standing behind the grill and wanted to protest, but this actually sounded legit for once. Weird green mold that hadn’t been planted for once.

 

“Wait, so… we can’t stay in our apartment upstairs?” Yixing spoke up as they were ushered out and the evil grin that plastered onto Luhan’s face almost made him shudder.

 

“Nope, it’ll be contaminated too. Time to go on vacation, if you guys can afford it! Don’t try anything funny, it’s gotta all be cleaned out. Sorry you two can’t share a bed,” he shot at Minseok and Baekhyun who simply rolled their eyes at the man’s delusions. They could only tell him so many times. It wasn’t as if he was listening anyway.

 

There was a pause of all eight people on the sidewalk for a brief moment before Jongin spoke up. “If you guys don’t have anywhere to go, I mean… you could always just stay at my place for the weekend? As long as you don’t go downstairs to try to play with the bodies, it should be okay.” The offer hung in the air awkwardly as the five boys stared at him and Joonmyun stood in the middle breathing.

 

Baekhyun was the first to speak up for the rest of them. “We would love to! I mean… we don’t have the funds to go anywhere else and we could behave for two days... “ The words were uncertain, but the invitation had been accepted either way. Who said they couldn’t spend the night over a morgue for two nights? It wouldn’t be so horrible.

 

Actually it was rather accommodating once the five men gathered enough things for two nights and moved through the lower funeral home carefully with horrible warnings from Jongin along the way. When they stepped into the apartment in the upstairs, it was larger than their home and it could easily fit all of them with a few sharing bedrooms and one taking the couch. It was more than enough generosity from Jongin that had the entire group relaxed and they hardly thought about the dead bodies below them.

 

~

 

It was halfway through the first day that exciting news for Jongin came as he sat in the small breakfast nook on his phone. “Oh… oh crap! Baek! Baek someone sent me a message! They want to talk… what do I do?” He was nervous and maybe it was because he felt a bit rusty, but he probably could have handled it all on his own.

 

“Let me see?” Baekhyun leaned over his shoulder, reading the words as Jongdae came up on the other side and narrowed his eyes at the screen. “Oh! It’s a guy! Weird he doesn’t have a picture… but he says that he was having difficulties finding an appropriate one… perfectionist much.”

 

“Sounds a bit .. I would pass him up…” Jongdae offered sagely, patting Jongin on the shoulder gently. He would never admit that he hadn’t gotten a message yet, not out loud to them or that it was worrying him. But he could still hope right?

 

Baekhyun scoffed and rolled his eyes. “True… but maybe…. I mean, he says he doesn’t mind I work with dead bodies. He says I might be clean enough for him? I mean, that isn’t too bad right? I do like a hygienic person,” Jongin said softly as his thumbs hovered before he replied quickly on his own, hunching forward over his phone almost over protectively.

 

“If you didn’t need our help, you shouldn’t have asked for it then,” Jongdae muttered as he shoved himself away from the arm of the chair, leaving the other two behind as Jongin grinned at the little screen in his hands. He wasn’t jealous, not at all. He could get someone if he wanted to.

 

Jongin was staring before he blinked and made a choked sound. “Oh they wanna meet. Should I do it? I mean… for dinner that is… could… I mean….” He flounced for a moment and Baekhyun’s hand gave him a reassuring squeeze.

 

“Do you need some of us to come along?” Baekhyun stared down Jongdae and Kyungsoo who had immediately perked up at the idea of sabotaging the date for themselves. “And by us, I clearly mean me and Minseok.” It seemed as though Jongin relaxed a little more at the thought of that as he nodded mutely, typing out to the faceless man that he would like to meet him in a group and grinned as he got a positive response.

 

“That settles it…” Minseok nodded slightly from his spot, looking up with a curious expression. “Now we just need a cheap place to eat nearby for a couple…” He frowned slightly as he pulled up a blank, his mind scattered for a moment before Jongdae laughed.

 

“The answer’s obvious isn’t it? You have to go to The Huns, its the only place nearby.” Jongdae was rolling his eyes as he grinned a bit evilly. The answer had been right there and he was going to get a bit of a torture play out of this if he could. And he definitely was going to. That was for sure. If he couldn’t make Jongin’s date suffer, he would make Minseok suffer.

 

Minseok looked disturbed by the idea, struggling with going to his competition for dinner before he let out a rather loud sigh and nodded. “Alright, fine… we’ll go to Huns, but only because it’s right across the street! Not because their food is good or anything, it’s all over processed and gross anyway.”

 

~

 

With the three guys gathered at a table in the Chinese restaurant, they waited for Jongin’s date to make his appearance, but nothing had prepared them for Luhan walking over to their table and sitting down smugly beside his date. Minseok’s face was red and he was staring down the blond who seemed to have just crashed their little party before he turned to Jongin with a thousand watt smile. “I wasn’t aware you were actually a mortician. I’ve always been fascinated by it… though I’m sure it’s messy work.”

 

The three men sat shell shocked for a moment, staring at one another before Luhan huffed softly. “Look, from our profiles, we’re compatible and I thought I’d give it a shot. I didn’t know you two were going to be here, otherwise I would have asked for a solo date. But this really isn’t helping the idea that you two are together. I just wanted to have a nice time with someone who’s actually cute and is funny, so if you could kindly close your mouths it would be much appreciated.”

 

Luhan sat up a bit straighter as the waiter came around, ordering a bottle of much needed baiju from the waiter. “So Jongin… tell me more about what you do…” He turned fully in his seat, his uniform gone and replaced with a regular shirt and he looked so much more approachable when he chose to be. His body language conveyed the desire to ignore Minseok and Baekhyun and to solely focus on the guy he came out for. Jongin found himself smiling timidly before carefully treading into a conversation about embalming with Luhan’s rapt attention.

 

Minseok felt his browline furrowed slightly as he took up his glass to drink a bit of the baiju, the sting settling his nerves. He was over Luhan, had been for a long time. He couldn’t deal with someone so utterly insane, however he still wasn’t used to his ex-boyfriend looking at someone else like that. It was unnerving and different. While he was staring at the hand that rested on Jongin’s forearm, he didn’t realize that the owner of the restaurant had walked up to their table with a rather smug grin.

 

“So how is everyone doing? Is your dinner good so far?” Sehun asked, his hands resting on the back of Luhan’s seat as he eyed down the table before they landed on Minseok and Baekhyun in mock shock. “Oh Minseok! I didn’t expect to see you here! What’s with those tents up around your place? Have a bit of a problem?” His voice was drawled in smug smirk as he stared him down.

 

“It was just mold! Nothing at all… though I’m sure Seok here hasn’t paid one bit of attention to me since the night’s started, not that it matters, but it would be nice to be included in a conversation you know?” Baekhyun’s words were slurred and he was struggling to pop a bit of chicken into his mouth, but he managed while smearing sauce all over his mouth in the process.

 

Sehun’s eyebrows had shot up and he looked vaguely concerned at the petite man before turning his attention back to Minseok. “I see, well… I mean… clearly Minseok here has his own issues. You should pay attention to your boyfriend on a double date, not your friend’s makes you seem… needy…”

 

Minseok’s mouth flew open to protest just as Sehun started to walk away smugly, his wiggling a bit as he went. The cook stood a bit in anger, hitting his chair back against the wall that made a portrait shimmy slightly and shift to fall to the floor. “! I mean… I didn’t…” The usually calm man rarely cursed but this had sent him over the edge. “I’m sorry…” His words were muttered as he started to scoot around the table. “Baek, just cover my part… I gotta get out of here…”

 

His head was shaking slightly as he escaped out of the front doors, barely missing Luhan zeroing in on green spot on the wall. Making his way across the street, he hung his head and his shoulders slumped slightly as realized just how much of a jerk he was being to Baekhyun and Luhan and Jongin. Sehun was a different story, but at that moment he couldn’t go back, not when he was feeling sick.

 

When he made his way into the funeral home, he wasn’t really looking to where he was going, and instead he just followed the light that was illuminating the outline of a door. In his slightly drunken state, he stumbled down to the lower section of the mortuary, grumbling softly to himself. He couldn’t hear the three voices whispering about zombies in the corner and he suddenly felt very tired indeed. Finding a casket seemed easy enough, and it was so softly lined that he found himself climbing inside to sleep.

 

It was unknown to Minseok that while he and Baekhyun had gone out, Jongdae, Yixing, and Kyungsoo had worked themselves into a tizzy about dead bodies and people coming back from the dead. During that time, the snores that had vibrated deep in the closed coffin had stirred them from their hiding place and they were thoroughly freaked out. Kyungsoo had been the deciding point and started to push the coffin on the trolley towards the cremator. It seemed that was the only way to get the thing inside dead.

 

Several panicking moments passed as Jongdae and Yixing tired to figure out which buttons turned the fires on inside. “No! Not that one!” “ pull the lever! Turn that button! It’s going to get out! Hurry!” “If I die, I’m killing you first when I become a new zombie!”

 

When the flames roared to life however, the three started to make a joint effort to shove the vibrating coffin into the fire. It was the heat that woke Minseok up from his slumber, his fists began to pound against the lid of his coffin and he screamed at the top of his lungs. The sound was muffled but it sounded like him. At first his three idiotic friends dismissed it, but Jongdae had enough sense, just barely enough, because zombies really weren’t real right? It had been fun to pretend, but not if Minseok was really in there.

 

Before they had pushed too far, he pushed the lid open and helped a thoroughly frazzled Minseok out of the coffin who looked to be at his wit's ends as he stared down the three of them with crazed eyes. “What the is your problem? Huh? I could have died!” His voice was shrill, probably from the smoke, which Yixing was working on turning off the cremator as soon as he could. But this was it, he had finally reached the end of his rope as he stormed out of the room in a fit of anger.

 

It didn’t help that he ran into Luhan and Jongin standing at the entrance with their hands tangled together and Baekhyun trailing behind them. “Seems that Huns has the same mold we have, Luhan had the place shut down in no time and he wasn’t even on the clock… he’s so efficent… and authoritative… it was kind of….” Jongin coughed softly behind his hand, clearing his throat slightly as a blush crept over his cheeks, Luhan looked over at him adoringly.

 

“Let’s go make that tea and finish our conversation alright?” He nudged the tan man forward slightly, following him to the upstairs kitchen with hardly a second look at Minseok as they went.

 

Baekhyun walked in easily, gently smoothing out the front of Minseok’s shirt before he chastised softly, “You left me alone with those two. You owe me a bottle of soju.” He pressed a teasing kiss to his friend’s cheek before he head upstairs as well, leaving Minseok to stare at the open door with Mr. Wu standing there with a grin on his face.

“Hello Mister Kim! Since this is the second reported incident of mold in my buildings I wanted to come down make sure everything was in order. And to double check that you were still going to pay for the quarantine, molds aren’t covered in your renter’s lease after all.”