"What am I doing here exactly?" she said, breaking the tense atmosphere that has been enveloping us for more than an hour.

The moment she entered my apartment, we've never spoken a single word to each other. We just kept on stealing glances and avoiding touches.

We have never been this awkward.

Being the stupid man that I am, I just the television and pretended to be watching the reruns from the past episodes of Inkigayo. Both of us are just staring straight ahead even though I know that just like me, she doesn't understand a single word from the songs of the different idol groups. We just sat there at both ends of the couch, not moving an inch.

I woke up this morning feeling very........empty.

I made pancakes for breakfast, petted my dog, sorted out my RC cars, and even read a book. But still, I felt nothing. I felt like I was just a husk of a man. So lifeless. Truthfully, I've been feeling like this since that day I've received that cursed rose-colored envelope. It was like the instrument made solely to end my happiness. It was when I picked up my phone that I realized what I've been missing.

Her.

It was that simple. I just can't stop missing her.

And so, gathering up all the courage I have, I called her.

"Please, oppa. Let's not make this hard. I've been crying so much."

I snapped my head so quickly in her direction that it somehow hurt.

"You....what?" I asked dumbly while seeing her tearing up.

I started to move closer to her but I've only moved an inch when she held up a hand and hid her face behind the curtain of her hair. Her shoulders started to move up and down and that was when I realized she was crying.

"Just.....what do you want?" she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

I've never seen her so sad. Sure, I've seen her cry, but never this sad. She always cries over petty, little things, but she never cries at times like this. She never cries at times when crying makes her look defeated. She never cries on things worth crying over.

Kim Ah Young never cries so sadly.

"No, Ah Young-ah. No, no, no, no." I moved closer to her and hugged her tightly.

I don't care about her punches on my chest, or the hurt I felt when she told me to let go.

"No, I won't let go. I will never. Not when you're barely holding on."

When I said those words, she finally stopped struggling and I took it as a cue to loosen my hug on her.

"Oppa

She looked up at me, tears staining her bare face.

She was staring at me, eyes wide and lips trembling. She looks so terrified and shocked, and I can't help but blame myself for breaking this beautiful, beautiful red-haired girl I love so much.

"Come back to me, please. I'm begging you Ah Young-ah. Come back to me."