It’s a 12 hour flight and Hyoyeon can’t wait to get home and lay in her bed. SNSD have been doing a few performances here and there and even wrapped up the SMTOWN Family concert.

Hyoyeon is exhausted. Her body is used to it but that doesn’t mean her mental state is. Everyone is tense and quiet. They all walk around like ghost. The aftermath of Jessica leaving still lingers in the air.

Hyoyeon has thought about it. Leaving the group, she means. She thinks about it just about every night. Does she have the strength to do it?

No.

But that doesn’t stop it from crossing through her mid. Hyoyeon faintly remembers the first time she thought about leaving.

It was back when she first auditioned. And auditioned again. Hyoyeon was doing it to please her mother right? So why did she feel so determined to get accepted?

Hyoyeon shakes her head and stares out the plane window. She was a different girl back then, everyone was. The world does that to you. It chews you up and spits you out a completely different person.

She used to be so tough and ambitious. Where did it all go?

But that’s what she gets for being so naïve and believing the world was peaceful and nothing could ever go wrong. Hyoyeon scoffs at her naivety.

If she could she’d go back in time and tell sweet, strong but young Hyoyeon to turn back around and never enter SM premise, it will save you a lot of baggage.