I was a kid, just a kid. But you were a bit older and much wiser.

You were brave, you had the courage to leave your own land and costumes while you were chasing your dreams. Unfortunately, they chased back at you.

But you were my knight in shining armor. Everything was shiny about you. Your hair, your laugh, but mostly your eyes and smile. They were bright as the brightest July's sun, and you came to my life when I was just a kid who was unable to realise his own spark. But you showed me that I was special too. Maybe not as special as you, for no one in this world would ever be capable of doing so, but special nonetheless. I was your kid.

I wanted to be your man, though. I wanted to grow up to be someone able to protect you, to give you everything you needed. To hug you when you cried, to lift up and fix your bones when you were broken, and to kiss you back into happiness. I wanted to be the first thing you'd meet in the morning, and the name you'd whisper while you sleep. You'd no longer see me as a child, because I'd be so huge and so stable that no other would dare to even set their eyes on you.

I was jealous of everyone who dared to tear you apart from me. I looked at every move you made, and if I wasn't looking while you were shining your light to others, it was due to my belief that if I couldn't see it, maybe it really didn't happen. Does that even make any sense? I'm still too young to think straight. And at that time I was younger, and bolder maybe. I'd have crushed skulls just to erase those damned poor souls that tried to keep me away from you. But I'm calm and collected after all, aren't I?

That reminds me of the times when I felt as the worst thing that ever existed, and nobody else but you could realise how I was feeling. You knew exactly when I was mad, or when I was sad. You looked right into me. You knew my heart and still you didn't make a single move.

I know you were afraid. I was your kid after all. But time flied away quickly, and suddenly I got bigger. My attitude changed as well. I tried to look cool for you, and I thought that ignoring you was the key. How foolish of me. If I had known what I know now, I would've take all the time in the world to be by your side. But it just comes clear now that I miss your touch.

We touched each other all the time, but the first time we touched each other for real it was out of this world. From then on, I was the luckiest boy on earth.

I told you that I loved you many times before too, but you never really thought I said it seriously. Until the time I whispered it to your ear while you were in my arms crying because you couldn't handle the pressure as well as before. I remember that time. You stopped crying, you looked at me with your deer-like eyes, and you kissed me. It tasted like the sea.

Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning. Can anybody die from nostalgia? It's like starvation but it's worse. I can't satiate my need. I know I could throw everything away and search for you but you wouldn't let me. I know you said you did it for my own good, but even if I'm doing okay and if I'm tangling my limbs with the limbs of other people, I feel like I'm drowning. They're not you. And I wonder if you have someone to surround you with strong arms when the night comes. I'm dying. I'd die if I find out that you are with someone else, even though I am doing it. [Sorry for that]. I'm stupid. I don't want you to forget me.

It took me three months to have the courage to call you again. You never called me first. But you did ask for me all the time. [Thank you for that].

I'm strong-headed. Inside my head the reality was that you left me and you didn't love me. But if I recall the past events, I can see your love for me in every thing you did. I couldn't help to feel a bit betrayed though. I was angry and hurt, and I couldn't picture life without you. I still can't. But you know? As the days keep running away from my hands and all of our memories seem more far than yesterday, I'm grateful for the new memories we can make now. 

I'm still a child sometimes, but now that you're gone I'm trying to be a better man for you. I know we'll see each other again. I know I'll touch your face again. I know I'll kiss you again. I know we'll hug each other again. And I'll make love to you again.

[Maybe]

Someday.