His eyes flutter open as he rips off the thick covers from his cold body. He switches on the lights and is blinded by the sudden illumination. He gives out a huge yawn as he enters the bathroom.

He stares at himself, this time, for three minutes. He stares at the bruises and the brokenness and the fragility of his body. But a tear doesn't roll out of his eyes; instead, a feeling of disgust and shame for himself hovers around him. He caresses the purple area on his right cheek, "Do Kyungsoo, you weakling."

He never understands why his body doesn't try to fight back. It seems as if his brain wants him to be hurt, as if it wants Kyungsoo to suffer. And as usual, Kyungsoo always lets his brain win— and not his heart.

But Kyungsoo accepts that it's okay— even though his heart is telling him otherwise. He hisses as he reaches for his chest, rubbing the sore area. He smiles at himself, "You're strong, and you’re brave." He repeats this every single day even though he knows, that at the back of his mind, he's not even close to brave.

He takes a long shower and steps out.

Nineteen-year-old Kyungsoo has always acted happy, like everything's unscathed. And he's okay with it, because no one seems to notice that he's been actually wearing a mask for all this time.

Not even his best friend, Baekhyun knows. The blonde boy practically knows everything about Kyungsoo, except for the battles he has with himself. Maybe it's because Kyungsoo's too afraid— too scared to trust anyone with this because he can't even trust himself.

Today, he arrives at the school late. No surprise, but something has changed and Byun Baekhyun notices. His eyes gleam as he sees Do Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo smiles back. "Hey," he says.

Unconsciously, his eyes scan the room for a certain Kim Jongin that he's been so afraid of; because Jongin inflicts pain, Jongin inflicts terror. Kyungsoo doesn't like him— he hates him. But when Jongin gets a grip of Kyungsoo, he's too weak to run away.

He's too weak to run away— but he tries to. He opens his locker in search of his Chemistry notebook and as he closes the locker door, a rough voice whispers, "Hello, Soo." He drops his things and his eyes widen at Jongin's terrifying greeting. He stumbles on his feet and tries to run, but he falls and now he's crawling. His heart palpitates as Jongin takes two steps closer. And as Jongin comes nearer and nearer, Kyungsoo's strength builds up higher and higher. Jongin takes another step closer and as he forms his fingers into a fist, a kick from Kyungsoo stuns him. Kyungsoo runs for his life— leaving his notebook behind.

His eyes shift from left to right as sweat trickles from his milky skin. He loses his focus on the teacher in front of him, because all his thoughts are on Kim Jongin. Baekhyun tries his best to calm him down, "Kyungsoo, it's okay. Do you want to eat with Chanyeol and I during lunch?" Baekhyun receives no verbal answer, but instead receives Kyungsoo's nod.

Kyungsoo regains his smile as he bites into his sandwich, laughing at Chanyeol's knock-knock jokes. Baekhyun rests a palm on Kyungsoo's hand as they laugh together. But an hour later, his laughter turns into muffled screams.

He's slammed onto a brick wall. This time, for the first time, he doesn't squirm. He's limp and doesn't try to scream. Jongin chokes him and spits on his face. Jongin raises a fist. Kyungsoo's eyes shut tightly and he yelps, "Please don't."

He feels the hold on his neck loosen and his feet touch the ground. Kyungsoo's eyes open and he looks at Jongin with teary and guilty eyes. "Jongin, please forgive me. It's been six years." Six years— since the violence started, since the first punch and kick— since Kyungsoo broke Jongin's heart.

"Kyungsoo, I am not heartless," Jongin says with dead eyes, "You're the one that's heartless." And at that moment, Kyungsoo feels the most vulnerable, the most pained. No physical abuse can surpass the pain in his heart right now. Jongin slowly backs away from Kyungsoo, slowly disappearing out of sight.

And when he lost any trace of Jongin, he slides down the brick wall and pulls out a shiny silver coin out of his pocket. "Jongin," his tears touch the metal, "I am so sorry." Tears of frustration and regret are drowning the coin on the palm of his hand. And he knows that not even the saltiest of tears can make Jongin love him again— not again.

But Jongin never really walked away, he was looking at Kyungsoo behind a corner. And he could feel that the locks of his shielded heart were opening one by one.

Jongin shakes his head, washing his thoughts of Kyungsoo away. He slowly takes a step back and runs in the direction away from Kyungsoo.

Slowly, the chains on his heart are being untwined and ripped off. He clutches onto his chest and throws himself onto the ground. He stays there— stagnant; not knowing how to bring Kyungsoo's love back, or if he wants to bring it back at all.

But Jongin knew that deep inside—love was always present. Contrary to Jongin's thoughts, his love never disappeared; no matter how much he tried to hide it, he knew, at the back of his mind, that his heart still beats for Do Kyungsoo. "Damn it, Kyungsoo."

He slowly sits up, exhaling a huge huff of air and wiping his sweat. His heart is beating fast, so fast, as fast as the way he ran six years ago.

And in his mind lies all the embarrassment and stupidity that he had felt. Why was he stupid? Why did he even try?

"Kyungsoo, I like you. I like you so much," Jongin's words keep running through his mind and since he couldn't punch Kyungsoo, he is left punching the air.

The days after the incident are different. Something has changed.

Kyungsoo comes later than before. He stares outside the window, looking like he's in search of something, rather than listening to the teacher in front. Jongin starts feeling guilty— but his pride is still sitting at the throne of his ever-so-stupid brain. He brushes it off, thinking that it's just a phase that Kyungsoo's going through.

But it's not a phase.

It becomes regular. The tardiness. The stares. The silence. The pain. Jongin sees his life being out with Kyungsoo's. And right now, he thinks it's too late. "I can't save Kyungsoo. It's impossible."

For Kyungsoo, time slows down. He feels numb, so numb that he doesn't feel the heartbreak he felt on the day when Jongin stopped punching him. He has come to understand that sometimes, what you give is what you get.

But Jongin doesn't understand.

Jongin doesn't understand how Kyungsoo only wanted to protect Jongin. Jongin doesn't understand that what Kyungsoo wants is only for Jongin to be happy. Jongin doesn't understand that it pains Kyungsoo as much as it pains him.

But Kyungsoo thinks it's okay. "It's okay, Jongin will understand someday."

"Someday," thirteen-year-old Jongin smiles at Kyungsoo, "someday, we'll share our first kiss!"

Opposite to Jongin, Kyungsoo's head shakes in disagreement. "Jongin, your family will kill you. You'll be sent out. You know how they are." Jongin swiftly cups Kyungsoo's cheeks, making him face the taller, "No," he whispers.

"I'll be safe... with you."

Now, Kyungsoo realizes how stupid he was; how blind he was to the fact that Jongin only wanted to be with Kyungsoo.

It was all a blur— how Jongin's sweet smile turned into a yearning frown, and how those hopeful eyes turned dark, and how the soft hands that touched his face for the first time... turned into fists.

Jongin backed away and didn't say anything. He raised his hands, threw a coin weakly to Kyungsoo's feet, and ran as fast as he coul