Home

Request

Contact

Hiring

Portfolio

Browse

PARADOX

With Anticipation by DivinestSense

Genre: Adventure, Romance

Characters: Kim Jongdae/Chen (EXO), Oh Haerin (OC)

Status: Completed

Story summary: Haerin dreams of traveling the world but is hindered by her mother's request that she not embark abroad until she knows what she is searching for. She lives a normal life until one day, she receives a letter in the mail from an unknown sender; strangely enough, the sender does not even know to whom he sent it. This starts the correspondence between Chen, a guy with a serious case of wanderlust and Haerin, a girl who always wishes she were somewhere else.

Notes From Reviewer

Kwoncentrated: I hope I didn't bore you with my picky editing or over-analyze your characters. :P It's been a while since a story has got me thinking about my own life. Hope you like it!

REMINDERS : DON'T FORGET TO CREDIT THE SHOP BY USING THE BANNER AND CREDIT THE REVIEWER. COMMENT WHEN YOU PICK UP.

Title (5/5)

I see no reason why I should dock marks here. Your title is nice, simple, and plot-related. It gives the reader a teensy bit of a heads-up on what the story is about (which is a good thing), and it even gets them to think of relationship between the characters. Good start!

Description & Foreword (10/10)

I like that you included relevant lyrics to the description. From creeping your profile I mean checking out your other stories, I know that you do this with your other fics as well. It's nice to have consistency, kind of like a trademark. As for the description itself, again, it is short and to the point, raises just enough curiosity to make me want to read on, and it preludes nicely into your story.

I don't have much to say about your foreword, given that it is just an author's note to readers. but thank you for telling your readers what song the lyrics are from. Sorry, it's one of my biggest pet peeves when someone doesn't.

Plot (20/30)

Let's get down to business. The plot is fine -- borderline cliché (hi, I don't know you, but here's a letter and write back to me, please), but fine. Cliché is not necessarily bad, and I think you twisted it up enough to make it your own. Mad props.

It is a one-shot, so plot development isn't the biggest issue. Still, you did a good job in finding the ideal pace to take the story. By the end of it, the characters weren't where they started (and I don't mean geographically), but I'll talk more of that in "Characterization".

It is fairly credible. Though Chen seems a little surreal in the beginning, the reader would grow to understand him later on. Although improbable, the chance of finding someone's address online and writing a letter isn't impossible, and neither is getting a response back. You did well with using that fact to your advantage.

Writing Style (10/10)

Your writing style is perfectly up my alley. It's easy to understand, and a soft read, great for a feel-good story like yours. Had you used more complex wording, or heavier, overly-descriptive paragr