“I really don’t think this is a good idea…” My breath came out shaky and thick like a fog, as I clutched one of my mitten-covered hands to my chest. I breathed out slowly, trying to control my chattering teeth as I was pulled along through the snow-covered park by my other hand, Ravi taking the lead in front of me, mumbling a response I couldn’t understand. “What??!!”

I must have yelled because my question was met by Ravi putting his hands over his ears and mumbling something about how there was no need to shout, or, at least I thought that was what he was mumbling about. What was wrong with him? Why was he mumbling so quietly? Suddenly coming to halt, I stood with my feet firm on the ground as I watch Ravi stumble a bit backward, turning to look at me with a confused look on his face, mumbling again about “what was I doing?”

                “What am I doing?! What are you doing?! Why do you keep mumbling whenever you speak to me or when I ask you something?” I pulled my hand out of his, annoyed at his behavior as I continued to angrily rant at him about how this wasn’t how I saw our night playing out. At this point, Ravi stepped closer to me, chuckling to himself, saying—no, mumbling—something I couldn’t hear. My brows furrowed I watched him laugh at me, his cheeks rosy and his blond hair peeking out from under his beanie. He slowly raised his arms toward my face, pulling off my scarf, followed by my earmuffs, and said, quite clearly, I might add, “I thought there must be a reason for why you kept shouting…earmuffs...huh, more like sound-cancellers!” He chuckled at his own joke as I slowly came to realize that Ravi hadn’t been mumbling at all, but rather, I hadn’t been able to hear because my earmuffs were on too tight and on top of that, I had wrapped a scarf over my head. Still laughing to himself as he readjusted my scarf around my neck, Ravi cupped my cheeks in his hands, placing a light kiss on my still-furrowed brow and smiling, “Sorry for mumbling.”

                “HEY! It’s not funny.” I argued, this time well aware of the tone of my voice. Pouting slightly, I took his hands down from my face and held them in my own. “I was being such a stoop and a brat. I’m sorry. I’m super sorry.”

                “First off, it is funny—Why are you so wrapped up you can’t even hear me telling you not to shout!? Second, I love you, we are both sorry, let’s move on!” Ravi smiled once more before letting go of one of my hands to continue leading the way through the park, as snow began to fall from the sky.

                “IN MY DEFENSE,” I started as I looked up to the sky, feeling the small cold flakes fall on my face, “it is freezing, and I’m from California…so of course I’m all bundled up… yeesh.” Ravi only laughed ahead of me, this time actually mumbling about how I was “so cute” or something—and this time, I didn’t mind. After two more minutes of walking in the soft snow, we finally arrived at our destination—the ice rink.

                It was crowded with people, in the way most people would enjoy—families and friends skating and laughing, full of Christmas cheer, making memories. To me however, it was a terrifying sight. So many people, and I can’t even stand straight in my skates. A few days ago, Ravi had surprised me with an “early Christmas present”—a pair of ice skates and a week-long trip to New York City, just the two of us. “Its part one of two,” He’d said, making me feel guilty for letting him spoil me with so many presents—but I of course, I spoiled him back. “I know you don’t know how to skate, but I can teach you! Think of how romantic it will be!”

                And now here we were. We weren’t even near the ice yet, and I could already feel my legs trembling below me, threatening to let me fall any second now. I gripped Ravi’s hand tighter, hoping that somehow it would transport us somewhere else—somewhere warmer, more stable… with less…ice. But all it got me was a look of reassurance from Ravi as he looked down at me and squeezed back. “If we wait a little longer, we can have the park to ourselves!” He wiggled his eyebrows. I laughed and nodded, suggesting we get coffee while we wait in the cold. This time I took the lead, pulling him behind me as I made my way to a cart selling hot coffee.

                “Coffee?? Why would you need coffee when you have me?!” With that Ravi wrapped himself around me from behind, resting his head on top of mine as we waddled the rest of the way to the coffee cart. Despite the funny looks we got from the other strangers waiting in line, I was enjoying being wrapped up in Ravi’s arms. For being such a thin person, he always gave off a lot of body heat and it was something I always took advantage of on cold nights such as this one.

                After ordering our coffee we stood on the outside of the rink, watching the other skaters, commenting and laughing at how people were bundled up for the cold winter night. It was nice to spend time like this—just the two of us on our own vacation. Most of the time the two of us were so busy that even having dinner once a week was becoming rare and even rarer was him spending the night. I looked up at him as he sipped the last of his coffee before he spoke up, still looking out into the rink.

                “I don’t think we’re gonna get the rink to ourselves…”

                “I could’ve told you that!” I laughed as he looked at me incredulously. “I may or may not have been stalling so I wouldn’t have to get on the ice…”

                “I can’t even believe you! Come here!” He pulled me away from the rink, shaking his head as he helped me sit so I could put my skates on. Once he was finished with his own, Ravi checked my skates to make sure they were on correctly, and then proceeded to help me stand and make my way to the entrance of the ice rink. Holding on to my hands, he stood beside me, slowly stepping onto the ice, and walking me along with him.

                As soon as my skates hit the ice, I let go of one of his hands, grabbing onto the edge of the rink, trying to balance myself while my feet moved back and forth beneath me. Letting go of his other hand, I gripped the edge tighter as I felt my feet go forward, leaving me in an awkward position that looked like I was falling off the edge.

                “You okay?” Ravi chuckled.

                “yeah YEAH I GOT THIS. I GOT THIS.” I huffed out, trying to remain stable.

                “Then why is your basically pointing to the sky?” Ravi came around behind me and putting his hands on my hips, started to slowly unglue me from the wall, reaching out his hand to loosen my grip on the metal edge. Finally letting go, I lost balance and began falling back only to have Ravi’s tall and sturdy frame hold me up, both hands back on my hips.

After about 20 minutes, I was starting to get the hang of it. Left foot, stride, right foot, stride. It’s like walking, only smoother and more dangerous. I am doing this!!!

                I suddenly felt all my newfound confidence leave me as I felt Ravi’s hands slowly sliding away from my waist. In a moment of panic, I tried to turn quickly and grab on to him, reaching for his arm and pulling on it a little too hard as I feel back and pulled him along with me. Landing on the hard ice with a thud and a loud groan, I laid there momentarily unable to move or feel any part of my body—the fact that Ravi had fallen on top of me did not help at all. Laughing as he tried to push his self up, Ravi slipped back down several times, before finally being able to sit up on his knees, asking if I was okay.

                “Just, let me lay here a bit.” I sighed. Feeling the heat that had filled my body earlier, leave me as the ice beneath my body started to cool me off. My beanie had been knocked off and my head was beginning to hurt due to the cold when I finally reached up to Ravi and asked he help me up. Sitting me up right, he chuckled as he brushed snow out of my hair and my lashes, holding his gloved hand over my nose. “You look like Rudolph!”

                Taking his hand off, Ravi kissed my nose before standing up slowly and helping me off the floor—quite a troublesome feat since I kept losing my balance and sliding all over the place. Putting my beanie back on my head, Ravi took my right hand in his, standing behind me and placing his left hand on my waist as he guided me to an exit. Once on solid ground, I hit the floor again, grumbling as I hurried to take those devil skates off and put on my warm boots. I looked up to see Ravi still on the ice, looking disappointed—I’d done it again. I’d successfully ruined his romantic night by being clumsy and rude and unappreciative of his hard work in planning this. I sighed, looked at my skates, and started to put them on again when suddenly a hand stopped me.

                “Look, I clearly didn’t think this through. We should go back to the hotel and get some sleep before tomorrow. I promise that date will go a lot smoother.” Ravi looked at me with sad eyes and I couldn’t help but feel like a terrible person. Looking way from him, I went back to work, lacing up my skates.

I sat down on the bed, legs crossed as I combed through my wet hair with my fingers, getting rid of all the tangles. After we had both deemed it too cold to be outside, we had trekked back to our hotel, making it home at about 1 am. Taking a long and much needed hot shower, we both decided to end the night with a movie. Ravi was going through our luggage searching for our extra blankets since it was too cold still, even with the heater on. After his initial failure of ordering us a movie, and ordering a o instead, he turned the remote over to me and agreed that it would better if we watched a Christmas movie where Santa wasn’t a 20-something year old male in a red thong that slept with his elves. I settled on ELF, and slid back and into the covers as I watched Ravi walk over and spread the green fleece blanket over the bed, then climbing in next to me.

                He sat up against the headboard, pulling me close to him as he wrapped both arms around me, making me lay my head on his chest, our legs intertwining. I always felt small when we were lying like this—me being engulfed in his arms. Sometimes it bothered me—how small I felt. But today it didn’t. Today I didn’t feel small. Just loved.