Again. Once again, she looked straight at me with the identical gaze she always gave me. I wanted to say that I had been tired, nevertheless it was useless. No matter how exhausted I was, she would always do it again. Sometimes I thought she might had understand, in fact she didn't get it at all.

She was beautifully stubborn. Let me say. She was as stubborn as five-year-old kid stating that sun was a huge planet. Innocent, sacred, pure, adorable and of course stubborn. Here was the only difference: a five-year-old kid was stubborn due to her lack of knowledge and this young lady in front of me was stubborn because of a hypnotise. She was hypnotised by her own desire. For me, it was such a pathetic desire. Unfortunately, again, she would never understand.

I started a conversation. Despite hating how many times I had spoken the same words,

"Be safe, comeback soon."

"I'll try, but I think it will be just the same as before." she took off her black hat. Her wavy natural black hair looked glowing under the neon lights. I always wanted to feel its smoothness but she only let one person to do it. Disappointed, yes, I was,

"This is the third times -"

"Specifically, fourth."

"How? You always come here with me." I was startled after hearing this fact. Her pupils avoided my glare. She rolled her eyes as she gulped,

"Once, I went alone. All by myself." her honest confession really got on my nerve. I was about to mad at her until I decided to close my eyes and took a deep breath. I would never be able to do it. 
She touched my arm, mouthed,"I gotta go." and got in the train. Once again, she smiled innocently and I never could reply her smile.

As the train was leaving, I toggled my attention to a broken white rectangular board written "Station 2115". Station year 2115. And she was heading to Station 2112. Yes, station year 2112. Moving back three years ago.

~~~

"Kim Jaeyong, how are you doing?"

"I'm doing great, fine." I lied. There was no choice other than lying. Tough days I had been through without listening her voice, cheerful laughter and stupid actions. And now she asked me whether I was doing fine? Silly. One more sentence that I hated and I had no idea how could she ask that,

"What's wrong with your voice? You don't like it if I call you?" seriously, are you insane!? I screamed. My heart screamed. She didn't know how desperate I was waiting for her call,

"I like it." I love it. Really love it,"Isn't it expensive?"

"What?"

"The tax. Phoning through different years."

"Oh, yes, of course. But, it's not really that expensive."

"I'll help you pay for it."

"No, thank you. Don't worry, everything is fine." she refused my offer, but I would still do it. She was stubborn, so I had to be way more stubborn than her.

Our conversation stopped. I threw my phone to bed as its screen was suddenly by itself showing my lock screen. I saw myself smiling widely with other two people. Her, Na Hyeryang and my old friend, Kim Heecheon, who was also her former boyfriend. It wasn't about breaking up due to an argument or affair. Nevertheless, they broke up because of destiny. God's decision.

Heecheon passed away after suffering from abdominal cancer. When he got his diagnosis, Hyeryang wasn't there beside him. She left to Japan for her study.

I was the one who knew it first. When I heard about it from Heecheon, I immediately grabbed my phone until he stopped me,

"Don't tell Hyeryang." listening to his instruction, I was shocked. We had been together for a long time and she had to know it. Especially, she was his girlfriend. This was crucial.

I remembered those eyes of Heecheon begging me not to tell Hyeryang,

"She may not know it." Heecheon took her study as the reason why he didn't want her to know. He said that he didn't want to bother her focus on study. He knew that Hyeryang would be worrying a lot and there was high chance of her doing crazy things such as leaving classroom and buying tickets back to Korea on that day. Hyeryang was our drama queen.

I took care of Heecheon in the hospital since he had got no one other than me and Hyeryang in this world. For the hospital fee, Heecheon took all his salary plus I gave him some of my salary and I asked for help to my parents so they could help him. No need to argue, they understood how important this man in my life.

Whenever Hyeryang contacted him via voice call, he pretended to be fine. As if everything was alright. He faked a smile, laughter, cheerful voice, those all were fake. He also refused if she asked him to video call. But once, he couldn't refuse since he missed seeing her face too. Heecheon asked me to buy a wig that resembles his hair when he still had it. He also asked me to do his make up,

"Make up? I can't!"

"Please, Jaeyong, she can't see my pale skin! Look for some tutorials!" as he told me, I did.It was such a miracle that it succeeded. Hyeryang didn't recognise anything wrong at all. She laughed, and then cried out of happiness and sadness of missing Heecheon and me.

Everything was going well, very well. Until Heecheon finally couldn't take it anymore and he was gone at 10.10 PM. I absolutely remembered. On analogue clock, it resembles a smile. And I hope he left with a smile.

On Heecheon's funeral, Hyeryang came. I was surprised seeing her there. I looked for somewhere to hide but she had already got me. She slapped me hard. So hard. The pain was still on my mind. She yelled,

"Why did you lie to me!? Answer me!"

"Heecheon told me to -"

"And then why did you do it!? Why didn't you refuse!? Why!? Why I have to know it from other people!? Why not you!?" she cried. She cried like a shower of tears. She fell on her knees, still crying out loud.

~~~

Hyeryang finally had done her study and got back to Korea. I picked her up at the airport and she didn't talk to me at all. Cold. As cold as tiny snowflakes which touched my nose in winter. It was still end of summer, but it feels like mid winter,

"Will it be always like this?"

She responded with a silence,

"I told you I'm sorry."

The same response,

"Hyeryang, we need to stop -"

"You only need to apologise just once." I was glad that she finally replied, although her eyes didn't want to see mine. I kept my focus on driving. And again, silence. I played a CD but still, the quiet feel already filled the atmosphere like oxygen.

I was afraid that she blamed everything on me. I was afraid that she would hate me. I just couldn't stand having a day without her voice. I knew that she was upset, crestfallen. But she forgot that she was not the only person who shed a tears for Heecheon. Me too. Even I worked hard being with him until his last seconds in this world.

She fell asleep. And I got a bad idea not to bring her home. She would love it.

~~~

"I remember the day you kidnapped me to the station. I got panic. I was about to slap you again." she called me again. Flashing back things. She spoke again,"Thank you, Jaeyong." you're welcome.

She said thank you for bringing her to a station where she could go back to the past or future by train. She told me thank you for giving her the opportunity to be with Heecheon and not wasting every single second like she did before. She really wanted to be by his side during his hard time.

Hyeryang would never move or let go. She would statically there for Heecheon. And I was here waiting for a space even in the tiniest room in her heart, would never go get in,

"I'll be back there tomorrow."

"I'm waiting." and I would always.

~~~

She got out from the train. Beautifully walking down the platform. She smiled as usual. I thought smiling was kinda a hobby for her. She walked towards me. The sound of her heel tickled my ear.

She stopped around thirty five centimetres away from me. I opened my mouth,

"I hope this is the last time we visit this station."

"Excuse me?" she looked totally confused. I had expected this, because she would never understand. I quite regreted telling her this station. After stepping on this station floor, she got hypnotised by her own desire of going back to the past.

I understood how crestfallen she was. I really understood. But she needed to look forward. She really needed. Especially because, there was someone waiting to replace the emptiness space of Heecheon's existence.

I touched her lips with mine.

I hoped this time she would understand. And I thought she had. She mouthed an apologise. I replied,

"It's alright. I'm here." for you.

~~~