“Good morning, hon.”, I whispered to my husband lying next to me.

“Good morning.”, he replied as he smiled and planted a kiss on my forehead.

“I should get up and make breakfast.”, I said.

“Uhm. How about we just stay like this forever?”, he said.

“Like what? Like my head lying on top of your chest and our arms wrapped around each other?”, I kiddingly asked.

“Yes. Exactly like that.”, he chuckled.

“How about no?”, I said, laughing while getting up.

“No, huh?”, he said then grabbed me back to bed and pulled me closer into a very tight hug.

“Okay fine. Let’s stay like this for a while but not forever. We still need to eat, drink, exercise, bathe and do other necessities.”, I said, acting serious while saying the last sentence.

“Oh c’mon, hon. Don’t you think this is sweet? Normally, women find guys, who like to cuddle, very attractive. You should be happy I’m like this with you. It’s just another action that means I love you.”, he said, looking at me.

“Well. Yeah. It is sweet. And I am happy you’re like this with me. It’s just isn’t practical to stay like this forever. You gotta admit that.”, I said.

“I know, hon. It was just an expression. And wait a second. You forgot to say something.”, he said, looking at me intently.

“What did I forget to say? I don’t think I forgot anything?”, I kiddingly said.

“You don’t? Really? We’ll see about that.”, he said with his playful smile.

The next thing I know he started tickling me and won’t stop.

“Stop. Oh my gosh. Stop. Just stop.”, I begged in between laughs.

“No! Not until you say it.”, he said, still tickling me.

“Okay fine. Fine. I love you, too!”, I said, giving up.

“What did you say? I didn’t hear it. Say it again.”, he said.

“I LOVE YOU!”, I repeated.

He kissed me afterwards and said I love you in between kisses.

The day went on normally. We ate breakfast, bathe, watched movies together, ate lunch, watch movies again, ate dinner, and talked the entire day. This was our weekend routine. We spend these two days together since we’re both busy with work during the weekdays. Other couples have a date once a week where they go out for dinner but we have two days and we choose to stay at home. I will never get sick of this. Just a day spent with him is a day well spent.

Sunday morning came, I slept in and I woke up with the sound of my phone ringing. My mother-in-law was calling.

“Hello?”, I said, answering the call.

“Hi ____. How are you?”, she said.

“I’m good. Everything’s fine. You?”, I replied.

“We’re doing great. I called because we were planning to visit later. We just want to know how you’re doing and maybe talk like old times.”, she answered.

“Uhm. Sure. I’d love that.”, I said.

“Great. We’ll see you at 2?”, she said.

“Yes. See you.”, I said, ending the call.

When I hang up, I realized that my husband wasn’t lying on bed next to me. I got up and called for his name, trying to know where he is. He answered the second time I called for his name. I realized that he was in the shower.

“Hey. Your mom called and she said that they’ll come over later so after you bathe and got changed, go down and help me with the food, okay?”, I said through the bathroom door.

“Okay, hon. I’ll be right there. I love you.”, he said.

“I love you, too.”, I replied, chuckling.

It was 12:06 on the clock so I only have one hour and fifty-four minutes to prepare myself and our lunch. I went downstairs and into the kitchen to start cooking. An hour and a half has passed when I finished cooking lunch for us and for my parents-in-law. My husband hasn’t come down yet from the bathroom and it’s getting me worried. He usually finishes bathing after twenty minutes, max. I called for his name to help me plate up. He went down as quickly as he could to help me and apologized for taking too long in the shower. I told him to plate up while I get ready upstairs. So I went up and left him in the dining room, went to the bathroom and bathe, and changed into decent clothes. I got ready in record time and I didn’t even know I could do it.

The doorbell started ringing while I was fixing myself so I called for my husband to open the door. He didn’t answer and the doorbell kept on ringing. I got irritated so I immediately went down and opened the door for my parents-in-law.

“I’m so sorry about that. I was still changing when you rang the doorbell.”, I said apologetically.

“It’s okay. It’s not a big deal. We understand.”, my father-in-law said as they went in the house.

I kissed their cheeks, led them to the dining room and saw that my husband didn’t finish plating up.

“What the?!?! I’m sorry. I’ll get this ready.”, I said.

“I asked your son to do this but I guess he’s being stubborn as always.”, I continued while plating up.

“I’m sorry, what?”, my mother-in-law said, confused.

“Uhm. I asked your son to do this but I guess he’s being stubborn as always? Is there something weird about what I said?”, I replied.

“Our son? You mean your husband?”, my father-in-law asked, also confused.

“Uh. Yes. _______, my husband and your son. From what I can remember, you only have one son and I only married once.”, I answered, chuckling in between.

I looked at my mother-in-law and realized that she was tearing up.

“Mom? What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”, I asked, worriedly.

She cried even harder and went to the living room.

“Did I say anything wrong?”, I asked my father-in-law.

“I apologize for my wife’s reaction. It’s just that it hurts her whenever she hears his name. We’ve all been through so much.”, he answered.

“What? Why? What are you talking about, Dad?”, I asked, confused.

“Come. Let’s talk about this with your mother-in-law.”, he said.

“I don’t understand. Talk about what? Is there something you’re not telling me?”, I said in panic.

“It’s okay, _____. Everything’s gonna be okay.”, he assured.

I followed him to the living room and I saw my mother-in-law sitting on the couch, sobbing.

“What’s going on? Just please tell me. You’re confusing me.”, I said.

“______, it’s about our son.”, my father-in-law said.

“Speaking of which. If we’re going to talk about him, I suggest we should make him come here. I’d tell him anyways. I wouldn’t keep a secret from your son, especially if it involves him.”, I said.

I was about to leave the living room but my mother-in-law grabbed my wrist and stopped me.

“There’s no one to call, ______. He’s gone.”, she said, still sobbing.

“What?!?! What are you talking about, Mom? Stop messing around.”, I said, surprised.

“You mother-in-law is right. I know it’s hard to accept but it’s the truth, _____. He’s gone. We also felt the same way. We still do. But we really can’t do anything about it. He’s gone and we all have to move on with our lives even if it’s hard.”, my father-in-law said.

“What truth? I don’t understand? What do you mean he’s gone?”, I asked, starting to become frustrated.

“He’s dead, _____. Our son is dead.”, my mother-in-law said, sobbing harder than before.

“What?!?! No! That’s not possible. We were together yesterday. All day. I woke up next to him. We ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner together, and we watched movies all day. He was even taking a bath when I woke up. He even answers whenever I call his name. He told me he loves me earlier. It’s not possible. He’s not dead! No! It’s not true! Stop lying to me, please. I can prove it to you. I’ll go find him. I’ll bring him here. He’s not dead.”, I ranted with tears flowing down my cheeks.

I ran around the house and looked for him everywhere, in every room, but he’s nowhere to be found. I tried calling for his name, but this time, there was no answer. Panic started to kick in. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to believe. I felt every touch, every hug, and every kiss. He can’t be dead. He can’t be.

I started to have difficulty in breathing. My parents-in-law noticed and ran to my aid.

“_____, breathe. It’s okay. Everything’s gonna be okay.”, my father-in-law said, trying to calm me down.

“I know it’s hard. I know it’s difficult to believe that he’s gone but he is. And we have to accept and respect that so he can rest in peace.”,my mother-in-law said.

“It’s been almost a year since he died, _____. It’s been almost a year since the accident the both of you had gotten into. You only recovered from your injuries three months ago.”, my father-in-law said.

“Accident? What accident? I don’t remember anything. Why can’t I remember anything?”, I said still sobbing.

“The both of you got into a car accident on your way to work. A van on the other lane lost its brakes and your car took the hit. The van bumped the driver’s side of the car and our son was driving. They said that he was dead on the spot while you were in critical condition.”, my father-in-law answered.

“I remember now. I remember everything.”, I said, starting to sob.

As he was telling the story about our accident, it all came back to me. What they were saying were all true. He did die. He is gone. The past few days when I thought he was here with me, he really wasn’t. I remembered that when I found out he died, I made myself imagine that he was still here. I did it every day that I actually tricked myself and made myself believe that he’s still alive even though he isn’t. I loved him too much that I couldn’t let him go and I still do. I love him.

I know I have to move on, let him go, and accept reality. I plan to. It's the right thing to do. At least, in my mind, I get to spend time with him one last time.