My name is Jessica Jung, just a normal girl living a normal life.

And here I am, waiting for the train for me to go to school. I am actually excited though, not for school, but for a certain someone whom I came to ride with for about 2 years.. *^▁^*

I really like her. Yes, she's a girl. She is Kwon Yuri, don't misunderstood, I just saw her ID once... ~>_<~.. I can tell that she is younger than me, but what I don't understand is that why is she taller than me by a bit.. Just a BIT!!! ~T_T~..

I tried to approach her not just once,.but many times, and well, all of those times are just pure EPIC FAILS!!!

I tried to whisper to her but she's using her headsets so, clearly she didn't hear me.. -_-

I tried to give her a note in which I put all my feelings towards her, but then the train came and due to my shock and a little bit of clumsiness, the note flew away... I just hope no one reads it.. T_T

I tried to call out her name but the train suddenly came and gives it's loud honk signalling the passengers to go in/out. And because of that, she didn't hear me.. >3<

I even tried once, I gathered all my strength and courage to go near her and talk to her inside the train.. But a HUGE FAT GUY suddenly pops out of nowhere then stands right BETWEEN us... ~TToTT~

After that incident, I realize that, we are indeed not meant to be.. But, after several days, we became "friends". It happens when I dropped my handkerchief at the train station because I was rushing to go to school since I was late. I searched for the entire day searching for it in school, because I thought that I lost it there. So, after school, as I sit on one of the bench beside the train rails, someone sat beside me. O_o.. I was shocked to see that it was her..

"Miss, I think this handkerchief is yours." She said then she handed my handkerchief. "I saw you dropped it this morning when you were rushing out of the train. I was about to call you but then you were already far away." (*^﹏^*)

I took my handkerchief from her. "Thanks, good thing you know that I ride here to go home after school." *^__^*

I was hoping that she notices that I ride the same train with her in the morning and in the afternoon. *^O^*

"Oh, no" she chuckles. "It was maybe, just a coincidence. I saw you sit here so I decided to give it back to you. I don't wanna throw it earlier because I was hoping to see you again, and I can give it back to you." ~T_T~

Even though she didn't know that I always ride that train, I was happy. Because she didn't throw my handkerchief and she hoped to see me again. And because of that, my feelings for her became deeper. ^__^

After that little conversation that we had, we didn't have the chance to talk again. I was too shy to approach her. >3< and so I do the same to her. And after that, silence fills in. What can I expect, we're not that close. But, as time passes by, the feelings you have for a certain person just grows deeper.

There was this one time when we were riding the train, which was crowded(super full >3<). We were so close to each other because of the crowd, we were so close like there's literally NO SPACE between us. ~>_<~. I was leaning on the door and she's in front of me. Her hands was placed on the door beside my head. >_<¦¦¦ I thought at that time that I was going insane.

"I'm sorry, it's just too crowded." She whispered to me. I can't blame her, it really was too crowded to the point that you cannot move.

She was looking at a different direction that's why I was so free to stare at her face which was so close to mine. I even heard her whispered to herself,  "So hot"..

Her sweat was trickling because of the heat inside this train, but I can't smell her sweat. Maybe I wasn't close enough *^O^*. She doesn't smell sweaty, infact, all I can smell is her perfume. She even looks hot in her sweaty appearance.

I was shocked when she suddenly looked at me and caught me staring at her. She smiled at me and because of my embarrassment, I just smiled back and looked down (>_<). I didn't know if she was still looking at me after that. My heart was beating so loud and I don't know if she could hear it because of our position, which was so close to each other. ~>_<~. But the noise inside the train was louder so I think she didn't hear it. Hopefully. T_T.

When the train reached it's first stop, the door opens and I almost fell out of balance, but good thing she catches my back quickly and pulled me back inside the train.

"That was close. ^__^" she said. I know she only did that to help me not to fell, but if you look at our situation, it will definitely look like she's hugging me when in fact, she only pulled me back. >o<..

"Yeah, good thing you were quick and I must say, you are strong for you could pull me back in.. thanks for that *^▁^*"  I said shyly.

"It was nothing. Move a little bit here." She let go of me and lead me to a safer place at her back. The crowd lessened because some got out already so there's a little space enough for us to be able to move.

"Okay, thank you"  then I went to the space that she pointed.She just smiled at me so I smiled back at her and looked away because I was so shy and my heartbeat is abnormally beating loud and fast. After that, silence fills in again.

Until she left and waved at me. She was first to go out of the train before me.

Our routine just continues, we just say "hi" and smile, and after that, there will be silence. We were always just like that. T_T

Each passing day, my feelings for her just continues to grow, so I decided to confess to her (>_<).

"Hi!! " she arrived.

"Hi!! " I greeted back and then looked down,.but on the side of my eyes, I saw her sat on the vacant seat. I was gaining courage to tell her how I feel for her.

I tightened my fists and whispered but in a way that the one whose beside me could hear it.

"I like you."   ~>_<~

I was waiting for her reaction and I heard her say, "huh? Did you say something?"

When I looked at her, I was disappointed because I saw her removing her headset. I know she heard something because she asked me but maybe she didn't hear it clearly because she was listening to music. ~T_T~

I just smiled even though deep inside I was so disappointed. "Nothing, I was just talking to myself."  T_T

"Oh, is that so." She smiled back and put her headset back on her ears. I just looked down.

I don't want to say those words again, afraid that she might not hear it again. <(_ _)> . All those courage that I gathered, all became nothing but a waste of effort. But I don't want to surrender.. I want her to know how I feel for her. I don't want to keep this feelings inside forever.  (o^^)o

So, because of that, I decided to write her a letter. *^O^* . A letter that has all my feelings for her, how I admire her from afar and how I watched her secretly in the train from morning and afternoon when we go home.

"Hi!! " and there she goes again, she greeted and smiled at me.

"Hello!! " and here I am, greeting her back. As usual, she sat beside me and I saw an opportunity to give my letter to her. She was holding a book on her right hand and when she sat, she put her book beside her on her right which was on my left. She was looking at something from afar while listening to a music from her headset, I secretly inserted my letter on her book. I was nervous at that time because she might caught me in action.. >3< . But thankfully, she didn't. ^O^ .

"Here comes the train." I heard her say while she was going to stand and took her book but as she took it, the letter I wrote fell and went straight under the rails of the train. ~T_T~ . She notices it "Oh no, a paper fell but it's already under the train rails. What could that paper be? I hope it is not that important."

I stand up from my seat. I saw it with my two eyes, how my letter fell from her book and how the wind carry it until it reaches under the train rails. "Ah. It isn't important. Just forget it." ~T_T~

She looked at me with a worried look but I just walked right pass her and went straight inside the train. She just followed me inside afterwards. -_- . I cried when I got home that time. I was super disappointed to what had happened to my letter for her. Does Fate really don't want her to know my feelings for her???.  >_<¦¦¦

After that incident, I haven't seen her for about 3 weeks. I don't know why, there were many things that went into my mind.

Things on my mind;

A. She's using a car

B. Her class schedule has changed

C. She got sick

D. She dropped out

E. She transferred in another school

F. She died

O_o... erase the last letter please T_T, I wouldn't want that to happen. The sad thing is that, I don't have any contacts Of her, I don't even have her phone number. I have no news about her for 3 weeks. <(_ _)> . Sometimes, I don't want to wake up in the morning anymore, because she was my motivation when I go to school and ride the train. ~T_T~ . And every afternoon, when she was gone, that was the time when I realize