WELL okay lookie this girl right here should have been studying for her midyears BUT NOO I was watching Lucifer related videos, oh fk me OTL im a horrible procrastinator, and please don’t kill me bc I have not finished the previous Fics OH gOD

And /prays this damn well be a drabble if not im dead!! Jfsjdakjdhsf no guarantees XOOOOOOO

A.N: Im using Satan and Lucifer interchangeably because lol wateva, and yes they are actually different entities where Lucifer is an angel that fell from his status in Heavens while Satan originating from Hell is well, King of the underworld okay okay (blah blah blah)

ANYWAY, IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH SATANIC REFERENCES PLEASE LEAVE NOW. Thank u.

Type: Lucifer AU

Song On Replay: She’s a Monster – GOT7 (oh yeah just youtube this kaisoo vid with the same name) juesus the video is perfection.  And Love me Right -EXO

Genre: Crack, Humor blah blah im only good at writing trash like this LMAO o<-< stabs self repeatedly

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Satan Has Issues (Or is it just me?)

Kim Jongin. A normal human being. A normal blue collared working male. Yes that’s right. If you discount the fact he teaches dancing as a side job on weekends and has chocolate abs and a magnificent figure that any HUMAN being would melt and die for and a crazily great side profile with a great nose (of course that little bump, have u noticed?) and jawline so sharp it can pierce – (distant clearing of throat)

And yes that would, however, insufficiently sum up the normalcy of Kim Jongin. He strides down the lane of the bustling central district, occasionally glancing at his Rolex watch as he heads toward the banking firm he had set up with his best friend, Park Chanyeol.  Chanyeol was probably still snoozing away, stuck in bed with his hangover and one night stand(or more like forever stand, Byun Baekhyun). Jongin sighs to himself and knows he has to clean up after Chanyeol’s . AGAIN.

Just to clarify, Jongin and Chanyeol own a legitimate loaning firm. However, which employs some underhanded methods to obtain back their money. And oh, despite it always being Jongin doing most of the dirty work, like threatening someone by almost severing their throats, HE’s not the one strutting around with bleached white hair! Jongin internally rolls his eyes, and finally arrives at the building. He makes sure to straighten his black suit and tie, maintaining a stern expression; he enters and heads toward his personal office right at the end of the corridor.
 

The whole building was theirs, though built with 25 levels only the first was utilized. (wtf)  Jongin mumbles “all for show, all for show” under his breath, as he hears the familiar welcomes of his employees, which he gives a small nod of respect in response to. Finally settled at his desk, his façade fades again and he uses the remote to switch on the radio player set at the other side of the room. The room was posh, marble laid the entire office, HELL, the entire office was posh! But the origin of where this money came from definitely came from an infinitely different dimension. Jongin was so tired, he’d wish he could stop working but he had to back his pal up, (how tiresome.) Overlapping thoughts of the burden that weighs upon his shoulders makes his mind ache with the dilemma of the decision. The decision he has, without fail, failed to come to, every single day. Which is the reason why his is still stuck here, cleaning up Chanyeol’s . Jongin groans grudgingly.

도로 위에 여긴 runway
날 바라보는 눈 속 milky way
Just love me right (아하!)
Baby love me right (아하!)

오! 내게로 와 망설이지마
넌 매혹적인 나의 universe
Just love me right (아하!)
내 우주는 전부 너야

The new song released by “EXO” echoes in the back drop as he hears it, Jongin bobs his head to the catchy beat, aching to move his body and just dance! Of course he can’t though, he’s in his office, so he’s limited to some finger tapping on the table and feet tapping cliché’s, poor him.

“Just love me righ-

The music is promptly cut off and all Jongin hears is the piercing screech of a car’s and more piercing screams. Screams of women…men… and dying people.

Through the clear glass panel of his office, he sees a black Porsche, all in a blur, heading straight for him. Despite the chaos, the yells of the reckless aka murderous driver reaches him.

“I DON’T HAVE MONEY BUT I WILL TAKE YOU DOWN WITH MEEEE!!!!!!”

Jongin sits and stares, still encased in the safety of the room, with Love Me Right playing, he closes his eyes and embraces his fate. Pain floods his senses as the car crashes through into the room. The impact crushes his bones and squeezes his body to the wall. Fire engulfs the small office, and Jongin feels the fire at his leftover flesh. As he blanks out, he manages to gasp,

“Yes , this is Karma!” A monotone but rather condescending voice, was answering his question, before he felt a sharp kick to his stomach, forcing his eyes open.

His eyes barely opened, catching a glimpse of the perfectly bleached white shoes before him.

And Wait, Isn’t he suppose to be dead?!

“Technically You are dead, just temporarily working for me now. You can’t really expect yourself to have gone to Heaven with all that you have done, can you?”  And wait, this dude can mind read!?

The figure looming before him, as Jongin cranks his neck to get a better view of this male, had well-, erm, questionable taste in fashion. Clad in a complete white suit, the guy even topped it off with a blood red tie!  Talk about horrible taste in fashion!

“Oofmmg!”  Jongin released another pained gasp for breath, as he got, yet another kick from this detestable guy.

“I was going to let it slide when you said I had questionable taste..but telling me I have horrible taste? How about I let you walk about ?” CONFIRMED ILLUMINATE-  I mean mind reading skills. And what a bitc- Better stop ing about anything at all.

Jongin props himself up and was happy to find himself still in the black suit and tie. Standing at full height (Lol I almost typed length LOL THAT’S WHAT HE SAID), he realized.. this “looming figure” wasn’t so tall after all. In fact the person only reached up to his ears. And looking closer, he realised the male wasn’t as menacing at he made himself to be, in fact it was too contrasting! Scratch detestable! He was the opposite!  The male had these sparkingly doe eyes that communicated “Pretty please? Obey me??” and thick luscious lip- ER even c-c-cute---!?!/!?----------------------

Okay, Jongin knew he thought the human looked completely different from the way he had expected him to be. Was the male even human!?

“No, Im not human, Im D.O Kyungsoo, you may address me as D.O aka Lucifier…..(introductions that Jongin did not hear) Wait, Hold the f*** up, LUCIFIER?!!?? You’re telling me YoURE LUCIFER??? The one that has many worshippers, for his known cruelty and deeds!?!?? YOU?? THIS CUTE PETITE FLUFFY THING?  As he makes the pointy gestures at the man we now know as Kyungsoo, aka Devil/Satan himself.

Kyungsoo hears all these insults (from reading Jongin’s thoughts) and his face starts to redden in perhaps slight embarrassment at the (compliments? Feeling a little happy on the inside,) But also boiling from the insults. Kyungsoo marches towards Jongin and corners him to the wall. He pulls Jongin down to his height and lets his mouth trace over his Jongin’s sensitive ear. His other free hand grabs a hold of Jongin’s balls and he squeezes. Hard.

“Kim Jongin. You’re a little TOO young to be insulting me. I can crush your puny little balls any time I want.”

He releases the shivering Jongin from his hold and instructs him to follow him. They will be completing the contract that binds the two, mortal and immortal entity.

Jongin obliges without hesitation, all the while trailing behind Kyungsoo, clutching his balls.

“Errrr…… Why the am I hard.”

“Because you’re gross.” Was the childish reply from Satan himself.

Jongin swears he wants to bang his head against the wall and kill himself in embarrassment already. Having himself from the threat was…. A thrilling experience. Who knew Kyungsoo could be so threatening and hot at the same time. The glare was concentrated and entrancing, it felt to Jongin like his knees could no longer go on supporting him and oh god the action. That BOLD, BOLD action turned him on so bad. He almost, almost craved for another touch.. // internal crying and pheromones//

They continue walking through the vast whiteness before arriving at a simple wooden desk with a typed document that laid neatly on the table.  

Kyungsoo picks up the document and passes it to Jongin.

“Read.”

Jongin browses through and his eyes widen at the document. None of his crimes had been spared or overlooked by the higher up, he was charged for every offence he had committed throughout his lifespan!!! From throwing a bubble gum down from his apartment window to him personally stripping down a client and embarrassing him in public… NOTHING WAS SPAREDD!!!!  STUPID PARK CHANYEOL!!!!!!!

Kyungsoo thoroughly enjoys the emotional roller coaster ride Jongin mentally rides through and takes his time to look at the guy himself. He had personally picked him up at the scene of his death. He was all previously battered up, body smashed to the walls, bloody fluids all over the place. The driver called it revenge for all the harassment he had gotten while Kyungsoo called it plain stupidity. Oh well, at least now he had a more SANE (at least he hoped) and capable ( and not to mention good looking..) working partner. And.. too, what else did Kyungsoo expect. He sighs.

…the document at last claimed..

“I pledge my entire body and soul to Lucifer, D.O Kyungsoo, and I will work for him, till death do us part.”

ERRR doesn’t this sound strangely like a marriage vow?? Kyungsoo?? And I have to give my body to you?!

“Yea and isn’t that what you desire? And address me as D.O. I cant have you call me by my na-“

“So what do I do?”

“Well, just some chores, like recording the souls I collect and going down to Hell with me to discipline the souls and keep them in che-“

“Okay done, I signed it!”

What THAT was quick. Kyungsoo grabs the document and indeed Kim Jongin had signed!

Kyungsoo dances internally in delight, and turns to keep the document for safekeeping in his desk. He meets the outstretched hand of Jongin as he bows 90 degrees. Oh, a handshake, well then..

“Thank you, and I look forward to working with you!”

Hmm.. Maybe this kid won’t be such a difficult thing to work with. They exchange handshakes.

“Sure, and I’ll look forward to working with you and your body. I have my techniques you know, Jongin.”

Kyungsoo makes sure to whisper this in an extra whisky voice, directly in Jongin’s ear.

This time, its Jongin’s turn to light up like a cherry bulb, hand raised up to cover his just violated ear.

Kyungsoo smiles his trademark heart shaped smile, lips spreading and revealing the smile that eluded innocence, which his evil plans had none of.

Jongin shudders in place, staring at the same doe-eyes.

This man is dangerous, h-he’s Satan! He has some serious issues!!! (Or is it just me!?!?)

“Yes, it’s just you, Jongin.” Kyungsoo answers lazily to Jongin’s frantic outbreak.

 Kyungsoo drapes his arm around Jongin’s waist, Jongin allows him to lead him towards the black abyss and their work together as an immortal and mortal begin from then on.

Love Me Right plays softly in the backdrop at the two exit the scene. ;)

-end-

LOL DRABBLE YEAHHHH COMPLETED SOBS MY HW INCOMPLETE okay BYE LOL hopefully this was a nice enjoyable fic for you all to read?!?!

Please like  and  comment ! <3 :3

Bao Zi