// “She only truly believed that she was beautiful when she had said it.”

As a young child, Mina grew up with her family members telling her she was unattractive. They were joking, but young Mina didn’t know that. Young Mina let them joke about her appearance because, hey, they were family, right? It wasn’t like she could disagree. She grew up, believing that she was ugly, simply because all her uncles and aunts and cousins told her so. She believed that maybe her face was too long or maybe her eyes were too drowsy, she believed the words that had made a permanent mark in her heart, believed all of the words tossed at her playfully as a younger child.

Hitting her middle school years, Mina often caught herself staring into the mirror, trying to point out the good things about herself. She remembered her health teacher telling her that people liked to point out the negatives because the positives were too hard to find unless you looked really closely. And Mina did just that. She looked closely, and yet, she couldn’t find anything.

Some nights she would cry because she honestly thought she was unattractive to everyone and anyone.

When Somi was born, Mina made sure that nobody called her ugly or . For every teasing insult thrown Somi's way, Mina came up with twenty compliments to give her younger sister. She didn’t want Somi growing up with the self-deprecating thoughts that she had grown up with. Nobody deserved that kind of treatment. No one.

It changed a bit in high school. Mina was an ‘early bloomer’, so to say. Her hair had grown longer, her features became sharper, and being a dancer kept her nice and fit. People often complimented her in the halls, but Mina would merely shrug everyone off with a small, “Thank you.” before continuing on her way.

She didn’t let people know that she thought of herself as anything less than pretty or beautiful. She didn’t let people think that she was sad with her appearance. She didn’t want to seem like an attention-seeker, not with all the attention she already had. Mina knew that if she replied to the compliments with something along the lines of, “I’m not attractive.” then she’d get pummeled. It was the way high school worked. You have attention, you accept the attention, and if you don’t, you’re considered an attention-seeker.

Mina thought to herself in class a lot, causing her to space out. Her grades were average, but they started slipping during senior year. Her family hit a rough patch and it caused her grades to plummet. Her teacher, after seeing this, assigned Mina a tutor. Mina couldn’t decline because if she wanted to stay in the dance team, she needed to get her grades up. And so, everyday after school, Mina would meet up with a girl named Momo Hirai.

Momo was a bit taller and a little bit paler than Mina. Her eyes were a dark mocha brown at times and at another, they were a bright brown color. She was attractive, definitely. Her personality was as attractive as her physical looks were and that’s what kept Mina from completely ditching their tutor sessions to escape home.

Her voice was a lovely sound, a rather high pitched tone that Mina could never get bored of. It was so different compared to Mina’s lower pitched, shy voice. Mina loved Momo’s voice, simple as that.

She shared a few classes with Momo but they never talked. The whole ‘social level’ thing in high school threw Mina all the way to the top and left Momo all the way at the bottom. Momo never talked to people as popular as Mina and the only time that she ever did was to tutor her. Mina always shot a worried look to Momo whenever someone in her group of ‘friends’ . She knew what it was like being teased, it wasn’t a good feeling, and knowing that Momo was a good person made Mina even more protective over her.

“Hey, stop it.” Mina voiced out as one knucklehead continuously tapped his finger at Momo’s desk, apparently waiting for Momo to give him her number. All heads snapped towards the girl and the jock who was stood at Momo’s desk only smirked before returning to his seat, obeying Mina’s words. Momo’s eyes stared at Mina deeply, scanning her face as if she were looking for something. Mina only briefly returns the eye contact before turning back around in her seat, wondering why her heart was suddenly beating so rapidly.

The Japanese girl could feel Momo’s burning gaze on her as she sits down at the tabled located at the far corner of the library. When she zips open her bag, she makes the silly mistake of looking up and connecting eyes with the other girl. “What?” She asks. Usually, whenever Mina talked to a classmate or even made eye contact with a classmate, the other person would blush or look away, but Momo didn’t. Momo was different.

“Thanks,” Momo says, “for earlier.” She clarifies after seeing Mina’s confused expression.

“Oh.” Mina pulls out her folder, “It’s no problem. That guy’s a douchebag, anyways.”

She hears Momo laugh softly and it makes Mina’s heart swell up in delight. She decides right then and there that she wants to hear Momo’s laugh more often.

Everything grows from there. Their relationship takes a step up from being merely tutor and tutee to two close friends. Very gradually, it grows into something more than friends. Mina could feel an unfamiliar tension between them one day as Momo met up with Mina at the locker room after her dance practice. She could sense Momo’s eyes on her, the piercing brown eyes trailing up and down her back as she looks through her locker for a clean shirt. When Mina turns around, fully clothed, she sees Momo’s eyes snap upwards, making it painfully obvious that she was checking Mina’s body out. That was the first time Mina has seen Momo so flustered around her because, usually, she would be the one blushing. It was a nice change.

And then, after that little locker room scene, Momo’s stare had suddenly become much more intense. That, or maybe Mina had become a little crazy from the constant dance practices she endured.

“Did you already read chapter three?” Momo asks, taking off her thick glasses, setting it down onto her bed as she flipped through some papers in her folders. They took their little tutor sessions away from the public library and into the confinement of Momo’s bedroom.

“Uhm… No.” Mina admits sheepishly, playing with the ends of her long brown hair. She hears Momo exhale a breath. “Seriously, Mina?”

The smaller girl’s heart skips a beat as Momo says her name. Her heart had a mind of it’s own whenever she was around Momo. It was becoming a little annoying to Mina, but she didn’t care. Tossing her slight agitation away, it made her feel giddy and happy. Momo made her happy.

When Momo first met Mina’s little sister, she was a bit speechless at how Mina treated the younger one. Momo had friends who seemed to despise their little siblings but Mina was the complete opposite. Mina let Somi hug her leg tightly as she walked around and Mina held Somi despite the girl being a bit too big to be held. She complimented Somi and called her ‘princess’ countless times and Momo sat back and watched in admiration.

Momo mentions it the next day.

“You’re really good to your sister, you know that?”

Mina’s eyes shoot up from her worksheet, “What?”

“All my friends usually yell at their siblings to go away or to leave them alone but you were never once mean to Somi.” Momo states. “I can tell you really love her and that she really loves you.”

A small smile tugs at Mina’s lips. “I try to make her feel as loved as I can.” She answers honestly. “She deserves it.”

Momo gazes at the younger girl before speaking, almost in a whisper. “You deserve that too, Mina.” Her voice was soft and gentle, it made Mina’s ears tingle and her stomach flip.

“Thanks.” Mina mumbles, an automatic reply to anyone who ever says anything near a compliment. ‘Thanks.’ It didn’t mean she didn’t appreciate the compliment, but it didn’t mean she believed what the person said, either. Momo frowns.

“I mean it.”

“I know you do.” Mina replies. “Help me on number three, please.”

Momo knew Mina changed the subject on purpose but she doesn’t say anything, which Mina is grateful for.

As exams near, Mina only feels her heart trying to contain the feelings that she very obviously had for Momo. One day, Mina found herself leaning against the headboard of Momo’s bed with the girl sitting near her, cross-legged. It was a comfortable silence between them as they both worked on homework when Momo’s voice rang out.

“You don’t believe them, do you?”

Mina’s ears turn attentive, “Who?” She asks, lifting her head to look up at the girl who was already staring at her deeply. She momentarily wonders how long Momo had been staring at her for.

“Everyone.” Momo answers.

“About what?”

“About you being beautiful.”

Her heart race begins to pick up, and not because Momo did something utterly attractive, but because she was nervous that someone had finally figured her out, that someone had managed to see through the tiny cracks of the walls around her heart.

“You’re being ridiculous.” Mina tries to throw Momo off, hoping the girl would back off, but she knew Momo wouldn’t.

“And you’re trying to avoid the topic.”

Mina sets her folder aside, moving it to Momo’s bedside desk. “Fine.” She admits in a cold tone. “So what? I don’t believe them, big whoop.”

“A big whoop? It’s a huge whoop, Mina.” Momo moves her homework away as well, leaning in closer, “You’re absolutely stunning.” It was the first time Momo actually complimented her for her looks. Usually it would be something along the lines of, “Cute outfit.” or “Nice shoes.” but never anything about her actual looks.

“Yeah, well…” Mina gives a lame shrug. Momo was still staring at her like the last puzzle piece that just didn’t seem to fit. “Why?”

Why? One word, three letters, and yet they held so much behind them.

“Why don’t you think that you’re beautiful?”

“I just don’t, okay?” Mina was on the verge of crying, tears forming at the corner of her eyes. “Can you just not talk about it?”

“You know I’m not gonna just drop it.” Momo replies seriously. Mina stares down at her lap and Momo has never seen her so vulnerable. The girl who’s she’d seen be crowned Prom Queen and the girl who’s she’d seen win state championships for ballet was diminished to a girl who’s insecurity and self-belittling brings her own self to tears. “Hey.” The older one calls out softly, seeing the first tear travel down Mina’s cheek.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Momo repeats quietly, moving her body forward and catching each tear that leaks out of Mina’s eyes with her thumb. She cups Mina’s face so softly that Mina wasn’t even sure she was touching her. “Don’t cry.” Momo whispers. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Mina almost laughs at how ridiculous the statement sounded. Momo wasn’t the one who made her cry. The people who constantly for being too skinny or too energetic or too ugly caused her to cry. Momo didn’t.

When Mina looks up into Momo’s eyes, her breath hitches in at the girl only inches away from her. “You’re so so so so so stunning.” Momo exhales, as if Mina’s beauty was too much for her to handle. “I can’t believe that you don’t think that you are anything less than beautiful.”

Their eyes flickered between each other’s. Mina’s hand reaches upwards and cups Momo’s nape, tugging her closer slowly. Mina sees the hesitation in Momo’s eyes because she had mentioned a while ago that she had never had her first kiss, but Mina doesn’t allow her to hesitate any longer as she pulls her even closer, connecting their lips.

Momo goes slow, allowing Mina to relish in the softness that was Momo’s plump pink lips, allowing Mina to slowly get the hang of things. When Momo starts to pull away, Mina only pulls her back in, both of her hands reaching up to delicately wrap around Momo’s neck. Mina could feel the faint outline of Momo’s lips curling up into a smile and she feels her heartbeat spike. By the time the two lean out, Mina was straddling Momo who was sat up against the headboard of her bed. Mina couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped her lips. It only takes a couple of seconds before Momo’s own giggle joins in.

Their foreheads clink against each other lightly as they constantly took turns pecking each other on the lips playfully. Mina leans back a bit and uses one hand to move all of her hair to one side, getting it out the way. Momo stares at her, jaw slacked at the charming girl in front of her.

“You are gorgeous.” She states, confident in her words.

Mina blushes. “You aren’t so bad yourself.”

“I’m serious.” Momo frowns. The younger one adjusts herself on Momo’s lap and allows her hand to return to it’s original place on Momo’s nape. “I know.” Mina smiles, leaning it and placing a delicate kiss on Momo’s lips. “I believe you.”

“Are you just saying that?” Momo questions, though her eyes were still closed as Mina continued the light kisses. Mina shakes her head. “I’m being honest.”

“Good.” Momo grins, fluttering her eyes open as she gently squeezes her waist. “Because if I’m gonna compliment you everyday from now on, I want you to believe that you are incredibly amazing.”

Mina beams, her eyes lighting up in a way that Momo has never seen before. She believed her. It was clear that she believed her.

“Say it.” Momo orders as her hands interlock around the Mina’s waist. Mina furrows her eyebrows. “Say what?”

“Say you’re beautiful.”

“Momo.” Mina whines and Momo tightens her hold. “Say it.” She repeats. “I want to know that you believe it enough to say it outloud.”

“This is too much.”

“Your beauty is too much, but you don’t hear me complaining, do you?”

Heat rushes to Mina’s cheeks, her eyes lowering to Momo’s slightly swollen lips. She mumbles something under her breath and Momo doesn’t hear her.

“I didn’t hear you.” Momo smiles.

“I’m beautiful.” Mina murmurs.

“Louder.”

“I’m beautiful.” Mina’s cheeks were painted red with embarrassment, her forehead still glued to Momo’s. Momo smiles widely, a tiny squeal coming from her. “Damn right you are.”

And Mina doesn’t get to say anything else because Momo’s lips were back on hers but she did know that Momo was nothing short of an angel. She managed to get Mina to believe something she had never believed in her whole seventeen years of living.

Mina finally believed, truly believed that she was beautiful, and all it took was a little nudge from the best thing that’s ever come into her life, Momo Hirai.

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