Tonight as I watch constellations spinning on my rooftop, mingling amongst galaxies and stars colliding against one another with the passion of a Montague before their burning shards are sent cutting through infinite expanses of black, I think of you.

Yoo Youngjae—your name flows in my mind with the grace of the moon as it glides into the night, the light offered in a space enclosed with darkness. You are a crystal in the sky, you shine so brightly, burn with such an extravagant flame that I must take a moment, step back when I am blessed with your presence. More than once have you blessed me, more than once have you twisted my tongue with nimble fingers, eyes of mischief that appear so innocent, incandescent like the lights flickering in my chest.

My mind soared with grace as you entered upon my porch that night, and I calculated the speed of my racing heart against the speed of light. And I found, through my calculations, Youngjae, that you in fact have the power of bringing each beat of my chest to a frequency great enough that combined, they come near in reach the speed with which you radiate brilliance.

And you came in like you knew, that my home was yours. That my heart had already been cradled into a nest, casted perfectly into the shape of your solid body, goldmines and copper coins littered underneath. A saunter so effortless, so casual that my mind hadn’t halted to suspect your lingering lie was how you came to, seated upon my throne as you embodied the majesty himself.

And so you have become, a ruler of his own. The present has accepted you and the future longs for your embrace, your warm body undying in passion. A majesty, a celestial entity. The stars align by a whisper of your name and I can only stare in awe as my lover takes his place on the golden throne. My silent night, succumb to blackness as you mash your lips against mine. You are a ruler and I am a holy knight. For you have I laid acres of wood and coal to build a burning empire, a home for you to thrive. For you have I thrashed crystals to dust, have I layered chandeliers as a sky, shimmering at dusk, glimmering lights at night (whose beauty, even still, pales in comparison to your gorgeous being).

For you, have I ripped bleeding beating hearts from throats enclosed, to offer love and tenderness in all eternity.

For you, my love. Take them, with your bleeding hands.

 My darling. A musical, a butterfly has emerged from a rotten cocoon of filth as you. An otherworldly being. Eyes sparkling above the gods.

I am a forest and you are the well that I must protect. Over time you have grown, outstretched my land and now I can no longer hold you, for your beauty is blinding to my eyes. I am hopeless, a being, not even, cruel in nature. But for you have I collected thread, thread of diamond and stitched myself a heart, woven, so cautious, as an offering, a gift suiting for someone like you. My love. My sweet apple, sugar cube. Fluid against my tongue, the warmth of your mouth, words, your words. Dissolved like liquid honey against my chapped lips.

I have you, I hold you. You hold me.

Do not protect me. I have become nothing. My body is now but a speck of dust next to your golden eyes. You are a nebula and I am a stargazer who has been trying for centuries to find you through my toy telescope. My longing arms. You were dust and you were gas and now you are a supernova that, unknowingly, has scattered gold and diamond, threaded them into the core of my existence. I wish to have you but how selfish must a man be to hold a celestial body, screaming heat and passion in his human arms, trap him in a case he dares call Home?

I am a Montague and you are the Capulet who loved me once. I am the moon who watches over the planet that you are, you are a metropolis and I am a resident. You are the core of this Earth mending radioactive and I am a human, the force of gravity keeping me stuck to you by the bones of my knees.

You are the universe and I am your lover who will follow you through every bursting nova, every black hole and through the collisions of galaxies upon galaxies.

My eyes. Your gentle fingertips. Lies spoken like lavender on dull wounds. Sooth them, sooth them. My darling, you have lost them. My darling, your tears are the water that quenches my thirst.

You stand above them, above me. Do not let me go. I am your lover, soul gifted to you. Do not let me go.

Tonight as I watch the constellations spinning on my rooftop I see you. Yoo Youngjae, you are the universe embodied. The high and the low, the smoke and fire and rain and pouring sun. I reach out to you but do you still see me?

 Above my humble bed, my ceiling has a portrait of my last lover. Kind was she but forgotten was I. The smile has been carved onto her face, permanently etched into her grave.

Do not play me. I brought you to my home and you sat on my throne, as though embodying the majesty himself.

And so you have become the majesty. But do not forget me, and do not let me go.

You are a star, you shine so bright amongst a crowd of debris. I am a stargazer, star chaser. I love you. Do you still see me? Or shall I come back and retain my position as a ruler, brighter than you once were?

Darling shall I stay where I am and risk losing you or shall I burn just as brightly? Watch universes expand on my fingertips, become a celestial being so magnificent that I surpass your glory? Not a meteorite but burning flames as you are, shining so brightly that the galaxies fall to my feet; become a shooting star just to cross your path, to see you once again. Fight through hurricanes and every storm man has known, walk through the unknown. I will find you.

Passion, passion.

I love you.

My cherry tree, so sweet and full of blossoms. Petals blooming, bursting screams. You belong to me.

Blooming, burning. Topaz and amber lighting your eyes. You belong to me.

Collisions, stars in my eyes, stars are your eyes. You are an orchestra, a symphony of cries and I will cross boundaries, burst through galaxies and tear black holes to see you, to hear you, feel you. Merge our celestial bodies, collisions, collisions. Thrash into me, darling thrash into me. Nothing can stop us now. Interlace your body with mine and watch the world as we illuminate red.

You have become dust and I am the larger body who holds your soul.