I just realized that all along I had John Legend's "This Time" on my head, thus the title.  Search the lyrics and it fits. Such coincidence oknow moving on...

==

"Goodbye, Jongin."

"Bye, Soo."

Both walked in different directions.

It was almost like college again, except they were not breaking up, and they were smiling too wide for their own good.

--

Both didn't tell the whole truth about why they were going to America.

Kyungsoo was actually there for a job, but it was true that his boyfriend had broken up with him before he left, and that he wanted to forget.  The job came as he was about to buy his tickets, leaving him strangely lucky as the company paid for it.

Jongin, on the other hand, was actually pitching in for a friend who had some issues of his own and cannot attend the shoot, but it was true that he was supposed to go for a one month vacation.  The pitching in just came after.

No, Jongin is not always a model.

And yes, Kyungsoo's job is a photographer.

--

"Just tell me a yes or a no, Kyungsoo.  I'm willing to wait.  Until we get back to Korea. I'll wait.  Just tell me if I do have a chance."

Kyungsoo's mind screams impossible.

His heart screams very, very probable.

"Do you know what you're saying, Jongin?"

"No, but I know what my heart is saying and it's repeating your name over and over and over again, it's crazy for you.  If I don't ask this now I will regret it for the rest of my ing life."

"Jong-"

"Tell me if I should spoil myself with the thought of having you again.  Tell me if I should go on with this wishful thinking.  Tell me if I should steel myself because I know I'm just going to be a rebound but I'm doing whatever it takes, whatever, Kyungsoo, just to get back beside you and hold y-"

"Yes. Now shut up, let's go."

--

Days in America aren't as bad as he thought it would be, Kyungsoo notices.

Everyday there was a smile etched on his face and a face etched on his mind.

Everyday, he ventures out to explore new places.

In the back of his mind, meanwhile, is a question of where Jongin was.

--

Jongin did not see this coming.

For Chrissakes, he is on the line for the goddamned Peter Pan ride for at least fifteen minutes and he isn't so sure the other rides are as 'available' as this one is.

His mind floated, and then he is trying hard to suppress the smile almost threatening to cover his face.

He should've totally asked where Kyungsoo was staying.

But oh well.

If life brought themapart, might as well do the job of bringing them back together.

There is a shuffling of feet and the line slowly inched closer.

--

Kyungsoo opened his umbrella, the yellow one, and itbrought memories again.

He remembered the first time he was kissed under the rain. 

He let loose of the umbrella in shock, drenching them.

Pretty awful, as he hated his clothes sticking to him, but the feeling of Jongin's mouth on his, gently memorizing every nook and cranny, every surface of his mouth, reverently kissing it as if it were the most beautiful lips, was enough to stop the impending rant he almost had.

--

Jongin steps out of the ride then walks several meters before spinning around, surprise evident.

That was a yellow umbrella, wasn't it?

--

Small, owl eyed guy could still remember how tightly he had held on the umbrella as he walked the pavements of Seoul, his heart broken and his mind blank, his eyes teary and his ears deaf.

Now, as he was walks on the streets of Los Angeles, his heart is slowly piecing back and his mind stuck on one face, his eyes bright and his lips stretched to a smile.

He chose to let the former go.

Because he knew that his heart might be broken many times but he would come back to that one person who could patch things again.

--

"Excuse me?"

Jongin almost pants out the words, his heart beating too much, too hard.

The person holding the yellow umbrella turned.

--

"Excuse me?"

Kyungsoo's heart skips too many beats.  He steels himself because the voice is too familiar.  Too him.

He turns.

--

"I'm— I'm sorry."

It wasn't Kyungsoo.

--

"Yes?"

Kyungsoo says, keeping the flatness and dejectedness out of his system.

Christ, he should not expect anything.  He should not have expected that it was Jongin.

"You dropped this."

Said person, sort of panting, gives him his handkerchief.

"Oh- thank you."

"No worries."

--

Jongin opens his blue umbrella, feelings from the past haunting him beautifully.

He could still remember the day it was scorching hot and they were on the quadrangle, graduation day.

Of course, Kyungsoo got valedictorian.

Jongin was salutatorian, but he felt like he won the gold— mainly because he and the small boy wound up being couple for almost two yearsnow.

He brought out the same umbrella.

"Hot?"

"Very."  A sweating Kyungsoo answers.

"Me?"

"Super."

He opened the umbrella and shaded them from the hellish sun.

They laughed; this carefree one that made everyone look at them.  Without warning, Jongin held Kyungsoo's arm and spun him to face the taller.

Then he leaned in and placed a small kiss on heart shaped lips.

"Congratulations, love."

--

Two weeks in and Kyungsoo swears he did get fat.

Two weeks in and Jongin swears he will eat after this ing photoshoot.

A lot.

They continue thinking about each other and what could have been if Kyungsoo answered a no, and if Jongin didn't ask.

A month seems so far, after all.

--

Kyungsoo could still remember the day Jongin went to their house.

"Hey, wake up.  You're gonna be late for enrollment."

Kyungsoo could barely believe what he was hearing— no, he could barely fathom who he was hearing.

"The are you doing in my room, Jongin?"

"Good morning, love.  Got you some breakfast."  He said, lifting a tray with food. 

Kyungsoo could barely keep the smile coming as he tried- and failed- to keep a straight face.

"How did —"

Knock knock.

His mom entered, looking at the two of them with a smile.

"Good morning, honey— oh hi there Jongin.  Glad you woke him up."

"No worries, Mrs. Do.  I could wake him up everyday of my life and stare at his face and I will never get tired."

A look of alarm flashed in Kyungsoo's eyes.  He opened his mouth to speak then—

"Oh how sweet of you, now enjoy your breakfast dears!"

The door closed and Kyungsoo was left staring, mouth agape at Jongin.

"What did you tell them?"

"The truth, and nothing but the truth."

"You bastard."

"Correction: your bastard.  Now let's eat, you shower, I'll be waiting with Mom and Dad dow—"

"Mom and Dad? Since when?"

"...since I told them the truth?"

Well damn, it took a Kim Jongin to tell his parents that he was gay.

But at the very least, as they were eating their breakfast in bed and stealing a few seconds worth of kisses, it was worth it.

He was worth it.

--

The day of the photoshoot came.

Jongin could barely keep his eyes open as he tumbles out of bed, yawning and stretching as his lean figure goes to the refrigerator, eyes silently rummaging for food.

Skim milk. Vegetables. Goddammed salads.

Thank God Sehun made Jongin use his flat or else he could have killed the guy for making him eat these... stuff.

He sighs in defeat, grabs the salad and milk, then eats in silence.

"Damn them burgers."

--

Kyungsoo finally finishes loading his things in the cab and hops in, not minding his grumbling stomach.

That can wait.

"22nd Avenue, please."

The cab drove on.

In the silence, Kyungsoo realizes that he never forgot Jongin, even when they broke up.

And Jongin probably never forgot about him.

There was the sudden realization punctuated by a rather loud grumbling as his stomach protested, louder than the first.  He looks out and sees a burger stand then tells the driver to wait a minute as he hops out and orders.

"Damn them burgers."

--

When Jongin saw this small man dragging a large case behind him at the airport, he could barely believe his eyes.

That was Do Kyungsoo, wasn't it?

Without a warning his heart skipped a beat.

What. The. Actual. Hell.

He took a deep breath and hoped that his mask, the one he uses for people he doesn't trust, was on.

Jongin walked towards the small guy who was sighing in defeat.

"Need help?"

--

Kyungsoo wasn't so sure he could board the flight with all his photography stuff and his personal necessities in the case.

It was over what his body can carry, and Kyungsoo was desperate.

"Need help?"

Oh gods.  Kyungsoo knew that voice, dreamt about it, had it as his for some time.

He turned around and faced his biggest what if.

"No, thank you." He waved a hand almost non-chalantly, as if it was only natural that his bag was so heavy he could barely lift it off the ground.

"C'mon, let's get this over with—"

The blasted contents, without warning, spilled out as Kyungsoo tried to make the suitcase stand.

"Did you not lock this sh*t?"

. . .

"Figures."

They went on to pick the discareded pieces, not just of the case, but of their hearts.

They talked about many things, mostly after their breakup but not so recent news.

"There. That's the last piece of brief you got?"

"I guess."

"Let's—"

"I"m just so tired right now."

--

The set up is easy.  The shoot is supposed to be relatively easy.

The waiting is not.

Test shots here, adjust the lights there a bit– yes, thank you, and where is the model?

While Kyungsoo is busy looking at what the shoot ought to be about, a tanned, young, lean man is whisked to the dressing room amidst all the whatnots.

His heart is racing because he saw who his photographer was going to be.

--

"Kyungsoo, meet our model.  Apparently Oh Sehun cannot make it so he pitched in."

Jongin knows Kyungsoo would look later on as he launches into formalities.

"Hi, I'm Do Kyungsoo and-"

3. Slight twist to the right.

"You-"

2. One step, full side view, now twisting his body, his eyes scanning.

"Are?"

1. One step, full front view.

Oh.

A moment of breathlessness from both, then Jongin answers.

"Kim Jongin. Or you may call yours, if you want."

This elicits a light laugh from the audience but a mere smile from Kyungsoo.

"Hi."

"Hello."

"Let's start?"

--

Professionalism is a trait both refined quickly at the shoot.

"Jongin, try to show some more skin, will you?"

Kyungsoo almost bites his tongue in two, trying hard not to redden.

"Yeah, sure."

Jongin then makes quick work of his jacket, zipping it down until it covers nothing in his upper body, then slouches, revealing the shape of what should be abs.

Real abs.

Gods, Kyungsoo could have fainted there and then.

But he kept on clicking, shouting "Good" or "Nice angle"whenever Jongin would pose.

--

Jongin's body was great, posing for the camera.

But his eyes were a different thing.

They are trained at the person behind.

--

"Good take!  That's a wrap.  Thank you, Jongin."The shoot director says.

"Sure thing, noona."

Jongin took all three steps to where Kyungsoo is, his glorious upper body still exposed.

Kyungsoo feels like he is the one being exposed.

"Wanna grab some burgers?"

"Sure."

--

Their conversation while in line went something like this.

"Did you find the heart you were gonna fix?"

"Yeah, sure I did.  How about you, did you forget?"

"No, I never got to forget."

"Why?"

"You know I never forget."

"Right."

"Oh, whose heart are you gonna fix?"

"Yours."

--

One more week and Jongin could keep looking at his bed for always.

A figure stirs, causing him to smile softly as he approaches the doorway, staying there.

Kyungsoo opens his eyes to unfamiliar views and turns to see Jongin standing there.

"Where—"

"Good morning. Made you some breakfast.  You're in my pad— I mean the pad of Sehun but that's not really the case now."

"Why—"

"You kind of passed out last night. Remember the thank you party whatnot? No? Okay."

"Did some—"

I wish, Jongin thinks.

"Nothing happened between us."

There is an audible sigh of relief from the smaller.

Wince of pain.

"But—"

"You, drunk sh*t, fell on your last night while I was trying to hail a cab."

Reddening cheeks and Jongin is in cloud nine.

"Don't worry," he calls out as he walks back to the kitchen, "you're still cute."

--

This is what happened late last night.

"Mm, Jongin, you smell nice."

"Go home Kyungsoo, you're drunk."

"But I wanna go home with you!"

"What—"

"Am I still cute, Jongin?"

"What again?"

"I said," slurred words barely making it past his tongue, "am I still cute?"

"Let's get you home."

"I wanna go home with you in our home okay and and be like a loving domestic couple everyone envies."

" I love you but shut up already and let's go."

Jongin walks a few steps aiding Kyungsoo when-

Oompf.

"Ouch."

"Stand up, Kyungsoo."

With his wide, owl like eyes and plump lips, the other looked at the tanned man watching him with amusement.

"Am I cute now?"

Tanned man shakes his head and squats beside him.

Kyungsoo closes his eyes momentarily, leaning in and muttering these lines to a very happy Jongin.

"Love you Jongin. Really do."

--

Kyungsoo feels elated, at the very least.

It is because Jongin took the liberty of checking him out in the hotel one week before his flight back and bringing everything he has to the flat.

Now they do look like a lovely domestic couple.

Except they aren't a couple, in all aspects than one.

Slight brushes of arms when getting water and accidental bumps to the shower immediately causes distance.

Sitting at two ends of the sofa.

Smiling awkwardly with each other when eating before launching to another topic.

Using different beds, for God's sake.

He could feel the tension.

--

"What is all of this?"

Kyungsoo gestures to a table with candles lit and two plates set.

"Tomorrow's your flight right? Thought I might give it my best shot tonight."

"Best shot where—"

"At making you mine again."

--

They had a lovely dinner, to say the least.

Turns out Jongin can cook some dishes that would make Kyungsoo smile widely.

"Did you like it?"

"Of course, yes."

They are now sipping on the wine Jongin bought, its sweet yet bitter taste enveloping both their mouths.

"Good, good."

Awkward silence.

"I can't wait."

"What are you saying, Jongin."

"I said I can't wait."

"Wair for what?"

Jongin takes a deep breath and answers calmly.

"You, okay. I've been skirting around you for the last week— no last two weeks since we met again— and Kyungsoo, I am in love with you."

"What again —"

"I love you, Do Kyungsoo. It was stupid to let you go, and now I realize how empty my life is without you.  You are worth everything, worth my life, my heart, my soul.  You are worth every morning I wake up to and every evening sky I see.  I am in love with you, with your yellow umbrella, and I am so sorry for making you cry that time  but I swear to all that I can swear to, I will never let you go this time.  I will take care of your heart.  I will love you as you deserve to be loved— unconditionally."

--

The next day is Kyungsoo's flight.

In his hand is a ticket, his passport, and Jongin's hand.

--

Jongin could barely believe it.

"How long have I waited for this— a month? You could have told me earlier."

"Kyung—"

"I've always wanted to hear those words from you, Jongin."

"Does this mean—"

"I love you too."

--

"Wait for me, okay?"

"No, Kyungsoo. No more waiting.  I'm yours already."

"And me yours."

"But seriously—"

"I'm serious."

In Jongin's other hand is a ticket and his passport.

--

"Do Kyungsoo."

"Kim Jongin."

"I love you."

"And I do love youtoo."

--

The flight back to Korea is filled with smiles, stolen kisses, leaning heads and holding hands.

This time, there is no more letting go.

This time, it's for real.

This time.

This.

==