Kyungsoo had lost the feeling in his over an hour ago. Still he did not get up to move around. Instead he stayed by Jongin’s side with red eyes, tearing tissues into shreds.     

Falling through darkness, Jongin grasped desperately at colorful squares surrounding him. Managing to miraculously snag a bright yellow one in his palm, he pulled it to chest and scrunched his eyes. When he opened them again the sunlight was caressing his face, but so was a cool, small hand.

“Hey.” He mumbled, trying to sit up on the sofa, struggling against the mound of blankets on top of him.

Kyungsoo pushed his shoulders down gently. “Take it easy for a bit. Your fever was pretty high.”

Jongin suddenly became aware of his t-shirt sticking to his clammy body. The dampness made him uncomfortable and he felt the need to shower immediately. He tried to push the blankets off again and this time Kyungsoo helped him.

“Sit here and rest. I’ll bring you some clothes okay?” The brown eyes were large and worried but he got up from his spot on the floor beside the sofa anyways. When his he came back he helped Jongin to peel off the sweaty shirt, but before he could replace the shirt, Jongin pulled on Kyungsoo’s wrist, pulling him to the cushions and wrapping his tired arms around the smaller man and closing his eyes.

“Rest with me jagi.”

Kyungsoo gave a small smile and complied, savoring the feeling of Jongin’s body against his in the comfort of the small dwelling.  

    It had been days. The beeping machines surrounding Jongin on the bed seemed to make up for that fact that Kyungsoo felt like his heart had ceased to beat. He had gone home a few times, mostly to grab things for Jongin, but he wasn’t awake to use them. He couldn’t remember the last time he ate or if he had even changed his clothes from the day he had to call an ambulance with a breaking voice. At least the sun had the decency to stay the hell away from him. The rain continued to pound the windows.

    Kyungsoo wasn’t particularly fond of February. It was cold, dark, and not nearly as festive as December.

“Get up, get dressed! We’re going out Soo.” Jongin happily announced one night, blocking Kyungsoo’s view of the tv screen.

“You’re blocking ‘Prince of Tennis.’ Move.” Kyungsoo tried to look through the beautiful man in front of him.

Flipping off the power to the tv, Jongin clutched Kyungsoo’s hands and pulled him up with ease. “Not a chance.” He pecked him on the cheek. “I want to treat you to something tonight, so please, humor me.” He said grinning, and sent Kyungsoo to change and an affectionate pat on the .

Kyungsoo was jolted from sleep by the sudden shrill of multiple machines. Jongin still lay there and the hospital staff ran into the room, surrounding the bed, the machines, jabbing at buttons and inserting tubes and needles.

“What’s happening?! Tell me what’s wrong!” He shouted, but his hysterics were lost in the noise and the trained personnel ignored him as the strong arms of Minseok drew him away and into the hallway.

Sobbing, Kyungsoo clutched the fabric of his friend’s jacket in his fists, his face resembling that of a child’s. Minseok said nothing, and just sat with him on the cold linoleum with an arm around Kyungsoo’s shaking shoulders.

“It was my fault. If should have taken better c-care of him.”

    “You are so slow I swear to god. We’re gonna miss the train if you keep walking like an old man!” Jongin teased, his laughter filled the air and the space of Kyungsoo’s heart.

Jongin pulled on the sleeve of his boyfriend’s jacket but when Kyungsoo would not relent to quicken his pace, Jongin skipped ahead a little bit and walked backwards down the sidewalk, swinging his overnight bag with liveliness and waggling his eyebrows. Kyungsoo laughed in response to the cuteness and leaped forward to try and catch Jongin in his arms. Jongin was quicker and danced away, teasing with his hips and giggling at the happiness of the moment as well as the anticipation of their trip together. His foot took another step backwards and with his eyes on Kyungsoo’s warm ones, he unknowingly stepped onto the busy street. Kyungsoo was too far away to reach out and Jongin heard the horn of the car too late. The laughter stopped abruptly, and so did Kyungsoo’s heart.