Kuala Lumpur had always been a place that I held close to my heart. Not because of the marvel worthy architecture of the Petronas Twin Tower but rather the intangible representation of this cosmopolitan capital. I had always considered it my second home.

This is the place where one of my favourite friend, SeoHyun, now call home. A place I had performed at with my Girls' Generation member and also visited with my family, friends, ex-boyfriend and on my own. A place littered with memories, weaved with happy, sad, fun, serious and enchanting moments spent with dear ones or the lesser. A place where the comfort of my dearest SeoHyun, my “second family” is every present, always welcoming, encompassed with love and care.

More notably, this was also a place where many significant beginnings and ends came to me. My first social visit ended with an awakening shove that pushed me to pick up my courage and took the leap to divorce myself from a dire marriage. It was a place that offered me a niche to seek solace at when my 2nd relationship came to a rather predictable sloppy end. It was a place where I experienced the magic of “third time's the charm” and started a beautiful union with the love of my life, my dearest husband, Nichkhun.

It was also the place where I witnessed another endearing relationship flourish from beginning to the end. The end that was so pronounced on May 19, 2030.

We were tired of our idol lives in the limelight as Girls' Generation. In our years of fame, while we had gained a lot of love from our fans and it had also earned us a lot of heart aches and pain in our real life.

Our busy schedule did not leave us much personal time. We would spend many laborious hours either learning and practising some new dance step, filming music videos, preparing and promoting a new album or spend 20 to 25days in a month away from home, touring from one country to another for endless concerts. Then there were the guest appearances on television programs, invitations to movie premieres or brand boutique openings and commercial shoots.

Many a time, the girls and I would wake up completely befuddled and would need to take a minute or two, to thoroughly scour our brains to remind us of where we were.

Sure, the money was good. I mean who were we kidding. It afforded us many luxuries in life that our peers could only wish for. But beneath the outer glamour, we were really quite barren inside. We were never able to ever manage our personal life because of the simple fact that we did not have the luxury of the time to spend growing or nurturing it.  Of course the paparazzi ever present contributed to further damage. In short, our personal lives were in shambles.

Often times, we were left broken, torn and tattered after each relationship. Some left because they could not take the stress and pressure from the public whose overwhelming love left us burdened. Some came with agendas and left after reaping what they came for, may it be fame or money or even just getting the free publicity for being associated with us. Some were just as busy as us because they were also in this same blindingly glittery industry. So caught up in their own lives, chose to be in denial and kept up with the whole ‘’we are the celebrity power couple” act, until served with reality’s hard knocks.

At the 15th year mark of being in the industry, we were very jaded, emotionally… mentally and physically. To still be addressed as Girls Generation, way into our 30s years of age, I have to admit that it was really pushing the boundaries.

So the group broke apart and we all went our separate ways. Hyo took up a back stage position at SM as dance choreographer. TaeYeon went on to become a solo singer, milking her last few good years before retiring to Jeju Island with her family. The luckier ones like Yuri, Sunny, Yoona and S