It was Do Kyungsoo’s last year in college. He took the long way and decided that to be a doctor was going to be his life-long profession. There were a lot of things that happened along the way, ranging from happy to heart-devastating ones. And Kim Jongin was one of those. And he was always sure that he was the best thing that happened to his entire life.

 

The owl remembered this puppy very well. How his fingers lingered around his skin and his warmth comforted him. They would kiss each other on the lips every morning and would send each other smooch sounds before going to sleep through voice messages. He remembered how deep this guy’s voice was and how it fitted perfectly around his name, it rolled almost naturally through his tongue and it was Kyungsoo’s favorite song. He loved his boyfriend so dearly that it hurt so much not to feel just his mere presence at all. After 4 years.

 

He grips onto his pillow that wore a pororo pillowcase, which his boyfriend gave him as a Christmas present on their first year. And his smell was still there. The scent of the strawberry flavored shampoo they used to share when his man stayed over for the night was still all over the fabric. He sniffed on it; at least some piece of you never left.

 

They met at a party of his best friend, Byun Baekhyun. He was really not that of a party-person that time so all he did was to sit uncomfortably on the corner of the guest room while watching others grind their hips against each other through the loud music. He was about to stand up when someone walked towards him and sat beside him, immediately offering a handshake. And after that, the world seemed to only revolve around them.

 

Do Kyungsoo fell in love for Kim Jongin after only a span of an hour. Despite being in a well-known family, it did not stop him from adoring the guy in front of him who was just living in a province because Kim Jongin was a student-worker to earn a living for his family and himself. That made the owl felt sorry for himself because unlike this strong man in front of him, he was a spoiled brat that was overly dependent to his parents. That night, all Kyungsoo did was to trace the young boy’s features with his eyes and worship how perfect they were and to listen to his soothing voice that sounded better than any kind of music there was.

 

It was still so vivid in his memory how they developed into a couple and how Jongin asked him out after two months. It was too good to be true because he never expected that the one he fell in love with had mutual feelings for him. He could silently laugh as he remembered that weird pick-up line the pup made for the owl when he gave the latter a pot of aloe vera plant.

 

“Hyung, I have something to tell you.” Kyungsoo raised a brow at the other, which had red tints all over his face at the moment, then told him to spill it out.

 

The younger one cleared his throat and blurted a somewhat poem under one breath, “Roses are red, cacti are thorny. I just can’t help it that you make it so…” he then saw his hyung squinting his eyes at him already and that made him stiffen on his position and laugh awkwardly.
 

 

“Wait. That isn’t a cactus, right?” He pointed at the potted plant before he continued, “Aloe you vera much!” He shouted then buried his flushed face on his palms. The space between them grew quiet but not long after he heard a guffaw and it was from no other than his hyung. He found it cute but he thought that he must not make his hyung think of it as just a mere joke.

 

“H-hyung, I’m serious! Don’t laugh at me like that.” He mumbled; rubbing his nape uneasily. Kyungsoo breathed in to break off his fit of laughter before leaning in; closing the gap between the both of them.

 

“If you really are serious, say it again. This time, say the things you want to say clearly and properly. So, you know? I won’t misunderstand again.” He answers softly; drawing a light smile on his lips. He knew Jongin was serious and just did not know how to confess it properly. But he just wanted to hear those three words clearly so he could answer it back clearly as well.

 

Jongin gulped down all his pride and anxiety before confessing, “I-I…” He sighed sharply mustering all his courage so he could finally pour it out in one go.

 

“I love you, hyung. I don’t know when these stupid feelings began but I just realized that I just wanted to see more of you, to feel more of you. I just wanted you to be m-“ He was momentarily cut off by an index finger being pressed on his lips.

 

“You already stole my heart the first time we met.”

 

The index finger was then replaced by his hyung’s soft plump lips. Kyungsoo peppered light kisses against his Jongin’s lips and afterwards, he rested his head against the other’s chest as he wrapped his arms around his back, pulling the younger into a warm embrace.

 

“I am already yours ever since. I love you, Jongin.”

 

He remembered the things that happened to them after that. All the sweet nothings they shared, the road trips they had using Kyungsoo’s car because they both liked travelling very much, the morning cuddles in Kyungsoo’s couch when Jongin visited him in his condo, the afternoon lunches at random cafes and the corners were always their favorite spots and the goodnight smooches over the phone.

 

Summer was ending soon and they both became sad realizing this. They never realized how painful summer would end until that time. Kyungsoo gripped onto his lover’s chest, never wanting to let go. Jongin saw the sadness on Kyungsoo’s eyes and that made him hug the latter a bit tighter. It surely made him equally sad as well. Just when he had met the person who made his summer the best one, they had to separate once again.

 

Kim Jongin lived and studied in Daegu which was 237 km too far away from Seoul. And he was already on his review school because he had to be prepped up for his board examinations to become an accountant. It was nearly impossible for them to meet between the several months to come which made Kyungsoo’s frown grow wider.

 

“You will come back, right?” Kyungsoo whispered through the piece of fabric covering his lover’s chest.

 

“Of course. And we will still send messages so you really have nothing to be sad about.” Lie. Everything was something to be sad about. What is worse than not seeing your lover’s laughter and hearing him say how much he loves you for a couple of months?

 

He sighed when he got no answer from the other. Then, he kissed the top of his head and said almost inaudibly, “Time is an illusion.”

 

Kyungsoo tilted his head up towards him and looked at him in mere confusion, he continued, “I will come back here in December. Will you wait for me until we meet again, hyung?”

 

The other buried his face on his chest then nodded as a response and by then, he felt warm liquid wetting his shirt. His hyung was crying.

 

“I understand. I will wait for you.”

 

---

 

After a week, Jongin went back to his province. On the first weeks of their separation, Kyungsoo cried himself to sleep because of missing his boyfriend too much. They only get to send messages to each other during the mornings because Jongin was too busy on his review and he quickly fell asleep once he got home. Not that Kyungsoo was upset about it, he understands it completely because he was busy himself. Not that busy as Jongin was but he knew everyone had their priorities. Eventually he got used to it. He got used to cold mornings and empty nights because Kyungsoo convinced himself that 7 months was just a short time. And he trusted Jongin that he would return to his arms. But the longing did not lessen even one percent – he still craved for his man’s presence.

 

The owl focused himself on studying and doing experiments in Biology class. And after a semester and a half, December arrived.

 

As his boyfriend promised, he returned. He was sleeping that time when he came back. He felt the area of the bed beside him become heavy as arms were being wrapped tightly around him while the man’s breath lingered around his neck. And by then, he knew who it was.
 

 

“Jongin, welcome home.” He dreamily mumbled; his eyes still closed. Yes, it was their home and not just a condominium he just lived in. Because that was the place they shared their first. Their first kiss, first promises, first night, first everything.

 

He felt him smile against his skin and planted kisses there before replying, “Did you miss me the way I missed you?”

 

Kyungsoo just hummed as a response before facing his lover and opening his eyes to see the man he missed the most, who was looking back at him with a wide smile on his face. Those butterflies were still there and fluttered widely in his stomach as what they always did before. 

 

 

---

 

A week before Christmas, his mother surprisingly visited him. As the woman’s figure showed itself on his front door, his eyes almost popped out from his sockets. It was a rare event for his parents were always busy on their family business, ever since he was young. Nonetheless, they had high expectations towards him. That was one of the reasons why he studied hard and made sure he always got in the Dean’s list – because he did not want to fail them and at the same time, he wanted them to notice him and how he worked hard for them. But now, he did not only have his parents as his motivation, he also got his boyfriend.

 

He sighed inwards, realizing that he had not told his parents about him and Jongin.

 

With her delicate eyes, his mother inspected his place and praised how much of a clean guy he was to which he just mumbled thanks sheepishly. That was because Kyungsoo made sure to make the place as spotless as it could be. He was basically a clean freak.

 

Her mother sat on the couch while waiting for Kyungsoo to finish making snacks for them. And as soon as the plate of cookies was placed on the table, he immediately asked her reason of visiting him.

 

“I just wanted to check on you. You are my son, after all.”

 

At least she still knows that they have a son – That was what Kyungsoo thought as he gave a small smile towards his mom.

 

“I see you are doing well in your class. Mr. Zhang sent reports to me.”

 

“Well, studying is the only thing I can ever do in my life right now.”

 

He heard his mother chuckled at his response and remarked that he should at least have some social life which he just shook his head to. At that point in his life where he was already established into a nerd, almost an introvert, with only Baekhyun and Jongin as the people he could call as family, he could not bring himself to socialize with other people anymore. His parents were the ones who made himself like that anyway. He remembered how they locked him inside his room and how they made him read books, which had tiny printed words on them, all day while secretly envying those children that could laugh their hearts out as they dipped their small bodies into puddles of mud.

 

“Say, does my son have a girlfriend or a boyfriend already?” He nearly choked on the cookies he was munching.

 

“I-I…like someone. And that person’s a guy.”

 

“Really? My son’s finally growing up. So which family does he came from? Are they owners of big companies, like ours? Or are they doctors?” He felt perturbed when he was bombarded with questions from his mother. What if she found out that he just chose someone who just had part-time jobs for a living? Not that he was not proud of his boyfriend, if he could shout to the world how lucky he was to have a boyfriend like Kim Jongin, he really would. But his parents were a different case. He just knew that they would get separated in a snap if ever they found out about Jongin’s background.

 

He felt her hand reached his and gave it a light squeeze. He averted his gaze from the carpeted floor to her face. “Kyungsoo-ah, you know already that we want what’s the best for you, right? We raised you with everything within your grasp so we want you to end up with someone who can give you that as well.”

 

But Jongin was his everything. The moment they shook hands, he already knew he could not ask for more.

 

He just muttered an “I know” to her and forced a small smile while feeling a lump of invisible matter penetrating his throat.

 

After an hour, they bid goodbyes and his mother promised him that she would try to visit him often but Kyungsoo just told her that he understood and she should not clear her schedules just for him.

 

Right after he closed the front door, he plopped onto his bed and let his body curl into a ball as the tears that were threatening to fall long ago finally crept down his cheeks. He stayed like that for almost an hour.

 

He cried to the heavens. Why did he have to be born that way? Why did he have to born with wealthy parents spoiling him with material things when he only asked for their attention? If he was just born the same way other people did, things would be much easier.

 

Suddenly, he felt himself being lifted up and being pulled into someone’s embrace. He tightly held on to his chest and continued to cry, wetting the man’s shirt. Jongin did not wear perfume but he had a scent that seemed to calm him down and made him feel secured. The younger caressed his hyung’s back, running his palm in circles while he whispered that everything was going to be alright.

 

The former tilted his chin and he frowned, seeing puffy eyes that were damp and red.

 

“Why are you crying, love?” He asked, kissing the trail of tears from his cheeks up to his eyelids. He did not want to tell him about what happened earlier so he just shook his head and pushed his face onto the other’s chest.

 

His lover just heaved a sigh, “I’m just here if you want someone to hear your stories, alright? I’m just here for you always, hyung. Don’t forget.” He tugged the corners of his lips into an assuring smile while wiping Kyungsoo’s tears away.

 

And once Kyungsoo saw Jongin’s smile, he realized that he was someone worth fighting for.

 

 

It was already January and both of them knew that they will both get separated to each other again. They cuddled on Kyungsoo’s bed that was dressed in pororo bedsheet which Jongin gave him as a Christmas gift because both of them knew how the owl was addicted to the said cartoon.

 

“Hyung, there’re only three months to go before the board examination and I’m so nervous.” The older chuckled at how the younger said it cutely while pouting. He kissed the latter’s pout before snuggling on his neck.

 

“Don’t be. I know you will pass it. I believe in you.” He spoke softly while looking into his eyes lovingly that made Jongin’s heart flutter.

 

He hovered on top of the smaller one and pecked his forehead down to his philtrum. And when he reached his lips, he mouthed an “I love you” to which his lover smiled giddily to before pressing his lips against his, giving him a long-lasting kiss.

 

At first it was just a gentle, innocent kiss but soon after they found themselves giving each other sloppy kisses with their hands exploring one another.

 

Kyungsoo let out a soft moan when Jongin’s lips travelled south and started and nibbling the piece of skin on his neck which he knew greatly was his soft spot. The former could only writhe and let out mewls here and there when the other slipped his hand under his polo.

 

That night, they played with fire, making sure they marked inch by inch of their bodies as their property.

 

Another morning came and the owl woke up with his sore bottom and his lover beside him, peacefully sleeping. He hoisted up and propped his elbow before leaning in to kiss his forehead gently.

 

“Good morning, hyung.” The taller one mumbled, before opening his eyes.

 

His hyung beamed at him. If Kyungsoo did not know any better, he would have thought that the man he’s facing to was an angel.

 

Then he slowly frowned, remembering that it was Jongin’s last day in Seoul and he would return to Daegu again the next day.

 

Jongin raised his fingers and traced Kyungsoo’s lips with his thumb. “Hey, I know what you’re thinking but please don’t be sad and smile for me, hm? I promise I will come back.”

 

And Kyungsoo believed him like he always did whenever he said the same thing.

 

“Hm, Jongin?”

 

“Yes, love?”

 

He locked his gaze towards the younger and all he could see through his brown orbs were sparks of love and adoration.

 

“Will you still love me after 4 years?”

 

Jongin only raised his eyebrows at him as if it was a silly thing to ask, which is true. Of course Jongin would still love him after 4 years. He could not imagine being with someone else other than his hyung.

 

“W-well, you see, you’re going to start working soon after you pass the board. And I’m still a student by then. What if you see someone better in your work place? Then you’ll forget about me.” Kyungsoo explained with the last sentence being spoken almost inaudibly with anxiety and uncertainty while fidgeting on the hem of the other’s shirt.

 

Jongin brought his hand towards his hyung’s hair and let his fingers tangle with the hazelnut colored strands. “Don’t think like that. I will love you even after 100 years. I can’t afford to lose someone like you or even replace you with someone not Do Kyungsoo.”

 

He simply nodded back and let their bodies attach to each other for hours because it would take several months for them to be brought together again.

 

He reminisced how he tiptoed on the white-tiled floor, with only a white, oversized polo covering his body, giving his boyfriend one last kiss before watching his silhouette slowly fading in the dark corridor. And after he closed the front door, he slumped on the cold floor breaking down in tears once again.

 

Kyungsoo flooded Jongin with who knew how long the messages were only to get nothing as a reply. He expected him to come back around April because the results of the examination would be sent to them two months after but he was only greeted by the cold unforgiving breeze of spring.

 

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Kyungsoo was very distressed that there were no traces of his boyfriend after the night they bid temporary goodbyes. It made him crazy, thinking of all the possibilities that could have happened to his man.

 

What if he got murdered or got kidnapped by someone? That got him mortified. He silently prayed that it was not the case.

 

But what if he found someone new? He shook his head by the thought. No, he believed in his sincere words and that it would never happened. He trusted Jongin and his loyalty towards him.

 

2 years passed by and the spark of hope slowly faded. Maybe the latter was correct. Maybe he did found someone better than him.

 

Sometimes, he blamed why he chose that long path instead of picking a course program that only took 4 years to finish. He could have been living with Jongin right now and starting to build a family. He could have not been stuck here in Seoul and longed for him.

 

Yet, at the back of his mind, he thought that it was his dream ever since he was a kid. He dreamed of wearing a lab coat and hanging a stethoscope around his neck. He should not give up now. Not that he was already about to reach the finish line.

 

“Just two more years.” He convinced himself.

 

---

 

Two more years passed in a blink of an eye, Kyungsoo did not even realize it until he found himself wearing an academic gown and a graduation cap on his head.

 

His parents and relatives were there to cheer him on. Baekhyun, who was also wearing the same thing approached him and gave him a hug while patting his back. He glanced at his best friend’s eyes and saw glints of worry towards him. He knew all about him and Jongin. Of course he knew. He was the only person who Kyungsoo could confront to when it came to situations like these.

 

Kyungsoo mouthed an “I’m fine.” to which Baekhyun smiled in relief to.

 

After that, he watched the people come and go, silently wishing that he would show up. He gripped tightly onto his diploma, he really wanted to show him that he finished college with flying colors but as hours passed by, he fell hopeless like the other times.

 

He lied down lazily on his bed, with his formal attire still on. Oh how, he missed his own room that he used when he was still in high school. He stared at the ceiling for several moments before resting his arm above his eyes, realizing that the light was hurting his eyes.

 

Maybe we just aren’t meant to be.

 

“Baby, can mommy come in?” He heard his mom asking with a cooing voice while peeking at his door.

 

He puffed out his cheeks and sharply replied, “I’m not a baby anymore. Aish.”

 

His mother just laughed at his adorable gestures and sat beside his figure. She brought her hands towards the top of his head, caressing his hair in a motherly manner like what she always did when Kyungsoo was still a kid.

 

“My youngest son finally graduated. Congratulations, dear.” She beamed warmly at him. He simply smiled lightly at her and hummed as a reply.

 

But she knew his smiles were not genuine. She knew that her son bared pain deep in his heart that even she could not stitch back. It was because she was Kyungsoo’s mother and being a mother is knowing every breathing her child releases.

 

“Kyungsoo-ah, I know that you were looking for someone a while ago.”

 

That made Kyungsoo widened his eyes open and sat up immediately as he looked shocked and anticipated.

 

The mother just chuckled and pinched his son’s soft cheek.

 

“I know all about him. About Jongin.”

 

Kyungsoo’s face quickly became mortified and panic-struck. He covered his slightly opened mouth with his palm as he felt his chest tighten because of hysteria.

 

“M-mom, did you--“

 

“I saw Jongin standing outside the corridor that day I visited you. As soon as I passed by, he bowed down right before me that got me surprised. He is a very polite child so I knew by then that he was raised properly.” She chuckled recalling her meeting with Jongin. Kyungsoo’s expression softened.

 

“I asked him who he was and he answered that he is your boyfriend without hesitations. He also told me that you were the best person he has ever met. And he said how much he knew that he did not deserve to be with someone who has it all so he promised me to work hard so he could earn for the both of you. By that time, I realized that he was serious about you and that made me happy and relieved that my son will end up with someone who he will not regret spending his lifetime with.”

 

That moment, as if on cue, all those tears that he forcefully took in, finally fell down one after another. He approached his mother and hugged her tight as if he was just a child wanting his mother’s warmth.

 

“B-but he left me.” He cried to her mother and she hugged him tighter, securing his son in her arms.

 

It was the first time he had ever opened up to his mother about his personal problems and that drew them closer to each other. He listened to her mother’s advices because mothers know best. And it made him happy when he found out that his parents were not against him and Jongin. Because rather than marrying a wealthy person who they were uncertain if he or she could stay with Kyungsoo no matter what his imperfections were, they wanted him to live with someone who could give him his or her whole heart and all the attention, something they could not give to him when he was a kid. It was too late though.

 

---

 

One day, Kyungsoo decided to sleep in his condo for the night. He packed up his clothes and headed to the place at 2pm.

 

When he was fishing out his keys, he heard ruffling sounds inside his condo and when he rotated the knob, he found out that it was already opened.

 

He carefully sneaked in, not making sounds. He dug his hand inside his backpack, finding something he could hit with. Once he pulled out his dissecting kit, he tiptoed towards the kitchen where he heard the rustling sounds. It smelled like fried chicken. Maybe the criminal decided to make lunch but heck, he would not let the criminal have a bite on them. Not after he slit his throat and pull his esophagus out.

 

As soon as he opened the door, he pulled out his scalpel and with closed eyes and scrunched face; he screamed and aimed the scalpel at nowhere.

 

“What are you doing here and go away from my chicken!!”

 

“Kyungsoo-hyung?” A very familiar voice called his name so he opened his eyes slowly and what he saw next was something he did not expect.

 

He unconsciously dropped the things he carried and stared back at the man with confused eyes, “J-jongin? Is that you?”

 

Without getting the man’s reply, Kyungsoo rushed towards him and pulled him into a warm embrace. And suddenly, all the longing, the anger, and all the other bad feelings vanished into thin air.

 

Everything did not matter anymore. Just him and Jongin, reunited once again.

 

“I told you I will come back.” Jongin tilted the older’s chin, and pressed his lips against his making the latter’s mind go haywire. The butterflies fluttered inside his stomach again and his heart beat in ecstasy.

 

“Did you miss me the way I missed you?” He whispered against the kisses to which Kyungsoo could only nod back because he could not even explain in words how much he did.

 

Right after their lips parted, Jongin knew his hyung will flood him with questions and he would surely answer them without leaving a single detail.

 

“But why only now? You left me hanging for four years. I thought you already had someone else.”

 

“You see, I promised your mom that I will work hard and earn up for us, for our future. And I also promised myself that I will only show up once I become successful. I started a business in Daegu three years ago and fortunately it grew and prospered. Now, I can be someone hyung would be proud of and I am now capable of giving you everything you need.”

 

Kyungsoo flicked his forehead in return and buried his face in his chest, “Silly, you are everything I need!”

 

The younger laughed and kissed the top of his head.

 

“You will not leave me again, right?” The owl asked in worry. Scared that they would get separated again. He was relieved when he saw Jongin shook his head and giving him a reassuring smile.

 

“Not anymore. I kept you waiting for four years and I don’t want you to be in the same pain again.”

 

“Don’t worry, Jongin, it was worth the wait.”

 

“Hm, hyung?”

 

“Yes, love?”

 

The taller one grabbed the smaller’s hand and planted a kiss on the back side of his palm then he looked at his eyes with pure sincerity and adoration, like what his eyes always showed since day one.

 

“Marry me.”

 

Kyungsoo playfully hit the puppy’s chest, laughing. “Hey, why so straightforward?”

 

“Well it is better than reciting a lame pick-up line.” And both of them bursted into a long string of laughter, remembering that Aloe vera pick-up line back in the days.

 

“Anyway, this is just a practice, I know Kyungsoo-hyung wants to be proposed in a romantic place and I don’t have a ring yet but still I want to hear your answer so…?” Jongin pursed his lips, waiting for his hyung’s answer with anticipation.

 

“Yes, of course. I would like to spend the rest of my life with you, Kim Jongin.” The latter answered sheepishly before burying his flushed face onto his palms.

 

After Jongin got the answer he was waiting for, he lifted and carried Kyungsoo’s petite figure then twirled themselves around the kitchen. “Yes! Do Kyungsoo will be mine for eternity and no one will take him away from me.” He laughed evilly and Kyungsoo found it adorable. He just stared at him fondly with a huge smile plastered on his face while his lover continued to twirl around happily.

 

Because the moment Do Kyungsoo saw his face again, he knew that he did not want to let this person go ever again.

 

 

“Now, it’s time to practice our honeymoon!”

Fin.