“Do wake up, Zaraki-san.”

 

“What!!! Where am I? Why am I tied to a chair?! Why the damn is it so dark?!”

 

“Unohana? Is that you? What are you doing? Untie me now!”

 

“Please refrain from shouting, Zaraki-san.”

 

“Untie me NOW!!!!”

 

“Please refrain from shouting, Za. Ra. Ki. San.”

 

“H-Hai. I’m sorry.”

 

“Now then, I am sure that you are wondering why you are tied to this chair, am I right?”

 

“You damn Right! So what’s the deal, woman?”

 

“Well, if you must know, you have been actively training with your Squad, leaving my squad to deal with you injuries, am I correct?”

 

“Yeah, so? What? You’re annoyed of it?”

 

“Yes. And I am tired from seeing cut up Shinigami’s in my ward every day!”

 

“It’s your job to heal people, ain’t it? So why are you complaining?”

 

“Kenpachi Zaraki! Despite healing people, advising them the dangers of injury is also part of my job! And you are by far my most usual visitor in my hospital!”

 

“!!!”

 

“Do you know how much it pains me from seeing you cut up and bloodied almost every day? Not to mention the strain you give me to hurry my healing so you may resume fighting!”

 

“Are you saying that you like me, Unohana-Taichou?”

 

“O-Of course not! W-Why would I fall in love with you?”

 

“And you’re just telling me this because you want me to visit you more often, isn’t it?”

 

“T-Taichou!”

 

“Eh? You’re blushing, Retsu-san.”

 

“I-I do not! And do not call me by my first name!”

 

“You can call me Kenpachi of you want, y’know.”

 

“I-I will not! And back to the point. I want you to be more careful when you’re doing you’re training! I do not want to see you in my ward that often anymore, understand Kenpa- Zaraki-Taichou?”

 

“You almost called me by my first name!”

 

“I-It was a slip of a tongue! Nothing more!”

 

“Yeah yeah, now hurry up untie me!”

 

“Alright. But will you promise not to be severely injured often?” [Untied Kenpachi]

 

“Alright.”

 

“Pinky promise, Taichou.”

 

“So this is how childish you are.”

 

“Quiet.”           

*Smooch*

 

“T-Taichou!”

 

“I don’t believe in pinky promises. A kiss seems more appropriate!” [Insert Kenpachi laugh]

 

“Well, see ya Retsu-san. We should hang out more!”

 

“H-Hai, Taichou.”

 

“I told you to call me by my first name, Retsu-chan.”

 

“H-Hai, Kenpachi-san.”

 

“That’s more like it. Now then, where’s the door to this room?”

 

“Oh! It’s over th-“

 

“Heck with it!”

 

BOOM!!!

 

“Kenpachi-Taichou! Why did you crash the wall?!!”

 

“Finding a door is a waste of time, Retsu-chan. Jana, Retsu-chan.”

 

“Mate, Kenpachi-san!”