Three days after Kim Jae Hoon died , you almost not knowing what to do . It was deep , warm-as-breath evening and you was walking down street on your way back from getting a loaf of bread and ajar of mayonnaise at the shop . You’d just crossed over the corner when the pick-up truck appeared , careering wildly down the middle of the road . You screamed and ran for safety . Brakes squealed and then there was a slithery his of rubber on road before the truck came to rest an inch infront of you .

                Three men were crammed into the cab of the pick-up and they all roared with laughter . In fact , they seemed to be laughing so hard that at first they found it hard to get the doors open . When the driver finally emerged , you recognized him immediately . SEHUN . ‘You almost killed me !’ you shrieked and burst into tears . The door opened on the passenger side and the others spilled out , Baekhyun and Kai . They were all drunk too and seemed to find the idea of running you over thrilled . You couldn’t stop crying long enough to speak . It was their laughter did it . That , and Suho and everything . You had been coping pretty well over this last week , but this was just the last straw . ‘You aren’t hurt , are you ?’ Sehun managed to ask , when he’d finally caught his breath from laughing . ‘You near enough scared the life out of me ,’ you sobbed . He rooted in the pocket of his jeans and produced a red handkerchief . Sehun offered it to you . What was I supposed to do with that ? You was hardly going to get snot on a singer star’s handkerchief . ‘It’s clean ,’ he said with an edge of annoyance . Well , of course it was clean . Did he think I had assume he would carry a dirty handkerchief ? Oh dear , why did I have to be bawling in front of Sehun , of all people ? Sehun smiled . ‘I’m sorry we frightened you . No hard feelings ?’ . For the first time you dared to lift your head enough to look at him properly . He was only arm’s length away and you could see everything about him . He looked better in person than on the screen , if that was possible . Younger and handsome , you like that . His Korean-perfect features looked more manly when a bit of living showed . The only surprise was that he was so tall . You already know about him but you still hadn’t expected you were shorter than him .

                ‘Come on , Sehun , ‘ Kai called . ‘It’s OK . Nothing’s happened .’

He turned to go .

‘Hey!’ you cried . ‘Something happened ! You nearly hit me ! You’re drunk . You shouldn’t be in car . You can’t just drive off !’ Sehun smiled disarmingly , his handsome face focusing only on you . ‘This isn’t anything really .’ he said chummily . ‘ It is , to me !’ you replied . His eyes were just as brown as in the pictures and they were a pair of smile-shaped-eyes when he smiled . ‘You almost killed me ! You could’ve , you know . If you’d been coming any faster ..’ Still the smile , the handsome Korean singer were now looking only at you . ‘But you’re all right , aren’t you?’ he said . ‘You aren’t hurt .’ Then without warning, he clasped your hand and kissed it . ‘And you will forgive me for frightening you , yes?’ Without even intending to , you nodded . ‘And I’ll let you keep the handkerchief.’

When you got home with groceries , you didn’t say anything about Sehun to D.O . He was watching TV instead , you put the groceries in the kitchen and then went upstairs to finish packing up Jae Hoon’s stuff .

                It was amazing the number of things baby could acquire in just ten months . Sitting on the edge of the bed , you folded up each T-shirt and little pair of overalls before laying them carefully into the cardboard box . You paused over the tiny grey jogging shoes . It had been silly to buy them for a baby who was too young to walk and they’d cost way too much for something just for show , but you loved to see Jae Hoon wearing them . You brought them up to your face , cupping them in your hands , hoping Jae Hoon’s scent lingering but you smelled only rubber , glue and canvas . Kissing them tenderly ,you laid them in the box with the other things .

                Your mom had told you to rid all of it . She’d said to pick one or two things to remember Jae Hoon and then send the rest of it to the Rescue Mission . But you didn’t want to do that . Giving Jae Hoon’s  stuff away so soon would make you feel like you was trying to get rid of Jae Hoon’s memory as well . Besides , what kind of mother would want to dress her little boy in a dead baby’s clothes ?

                D.O wandered up the stairs and into the bedroom . Pulling off his boots , he strectched out on his side of the bed . ‘You shouldn’t be up here ____ , if it all just to make you cry .’

                ‘I have to cry sometime , Dyo . He was my little baby .’

                ‘Yeah , but he was going to die anyway , wasn’t he ? You always knew that .’

                ‘We’re all going to die anyway, Dyo . But that doesn’t make it hurt any less went it happens .’ pulling the tissue box off the bedside table , you took one out to wipe your tears .

                ‘Come here ,’ Dyo said and reached out his arms . ‘You need cuddling .’

You lay down beside him . ‘Do you know what really breaks my heart ?’ you said .

                ‘What’s that ?’

                ‘Joonmyeon .’

                ‘You should stop thinking about him , ___ . I don’t think he’ll ever come back .’

                ‘I really miss him , Dyo . You know , he was Jae Hoon’s father . And now –‘

Dyo interrupted you . ‘I know , I know.’ he said . You sighed . D.O let go of you and turned over his back . Putting his hands behind his head , he fixed his gaze on the ceiling and didn’tsay anything more . You glanced over . ‘Have you heard anything about vacancy ?’ D.O just kept staring at the ceiling . ‘Nope.’ He said at last . You sat back up . There was a little teddy bear that your friend had made for Jae Hoon on the bedside table . Reaching out ,you picked it up . You intended to put it in the box with Jae Hoon’s clothes , but putting it away made you feel too sad . Holding it on your lap , you stared at it . Suddenly , your tears started to fall again .

                ‘You should take some job , Dyo . Makes Jae Hoon’s proud of you . I mean , he was near enough your own son . You’re the only daddy he knew .’

                ‘I would have , ___ . You know how much I always wanted to do right for Jae Hoon . I’ll make enough money for us . I promise .’

                ‘That’s what you said the other times too , Dyo . The fact is , we need money right now . FOR US TO SURVIVE’

An injured silence followed . At last , D.O sat up and reached for his boots . He pulled them on . You sighed . The teddy bear was still sitting on your lap , so you lifted it up and pressed it to your cheek .

                ‘You know what ? I almost got killed tonight ,’ you said softly . D.O didn’t reply . ‘Did you hear me ?’ you asked , turning . ‘And you know who almost done it ? Sehun . Him and two other guys which is Baekhyun and Kai from up the Seoul city . They were drunk . Weaving all over place in their pick-up . Came this close to hit me .’ you measured out the distance with your hands .

                ‘I wish they would all just go to their ing home .’ D.O replied . ‘I get so fed up with them around here .’

                ‘Sehun , Kai and Baekhyun really handsome , Dyo . Handsomer even than in the TV . Sehun gave me his handkerchief .’

‘I hope you told him you got hurt ,’

                ‘I didn’t get hurt . I mean , thank the good Lord because saved me,’

                ‘Why you didn’t told Sehun that you were hurt ?’ D.O asked .

                ‘As what I said Dyo . The pick-up didn’t touched me . I was scared so bad , I practically wet myself and , that’s all.’

                ‘You should said you were hurt anyway . Then we could sued him for damage . We can do it , for , like . “Mental distress “.’

                ‘Don’t be silly Dyo . Don’t take a chance on him .’

                ‘Didn’t you said they were drunk ? So they were in wrong . Not you . They won’t remember straight because of being drunk . Think of it . That was really good idea .’

                ‘No , Dyo . I’m just fine .’

D.O shook his head . ‘He was talented dancer and singer . Sehun’s got more money than he could count and for what ? It was you being stupid . Not me . You should told him you was hurt . Then we could have some money to survive . In fact , the way I see , we were doing the right thing .’

                Silence .

                ‘He…kissed me.’ You said softly as you set the little teddy bear into the box with the rest of Jae Hoon’s things . ‘Sehun .. kissed my .. hand .’

                ‘Yeah , well . It would have been far better if he kissed your bank account .’ D.O said with a smirk .