L E T T E R     N U M B E R    F I V E

"What is called a reason for living is also an excellent reason for dying." - Albert Camus 

Today was his last day in this house. It kind of makes him feel bittersweet, but at the same time, Zico feels as if he's closing Maeri out of his life forever. 

Leaving her behind when he was moving onto something new. Something that the both of them can't do together.

The boxes were now piled into a moving truck outside and Zico was now faced with an empty and cold desolate house. The place that once exuted so much warmth and happiness was now long gone.

Replaced with an empty shell and old rickity sounding cabinets and sliding doors.

"Is this the last of it?" Kyung and his group of friends have been helping with the move since seven this morning. Filing as much of his things out of here as possible.

There was a huge pile of Maeri's things to be given to a Salvation Army, and a small pile of memorial things such as albums, mix tapes, and videos that are going to be tagging a long with them to Zico's new place.

"Yeah, can you just wait for me outside? I want to have a moment to myself. If that's ok with you guys."

Kyung nodded in acknowledgment. Of course he and the guys were ok with it. It wasn't their place to intrude in something this private. 

He knew what Zico went through was tough. Everyone did. The once outspoken and extremely extroverted best friend of his has become another person since his wife had passed away.

All that Kyung and the rest of the guys are now hoping for is for Zico to be able to move on with his life and become happy once again. That's all that they ever really wanted. Because a sad and depressed Zico just wasn't right.

"Just come out when you're ready. We'll wait."

"Thanks man, I appreciate it."

There really wasn't a reason for Zico to cry anymore. Or a reason for him to feel depressed. 

As of now, two years without her has taught him a lot of things. He knew that she won't ever be back. That she won't just pop up out of nowhere one day and yell "suprise" or "April fools" in his face.

Even though he wished she did. He wished everything that has happened the last two years of his life were a lie. And that he'd wake up from this horrendous dream one day.

It's funny how a couple of months ago he had thought he saw her walking down the streets of Hongdae with a large group of people. 

He got that weird butterfly feeling in his stomach and out of nowhere a smile had suddenly sprouted on his face. And when he ran to get a closer look at her and to ask her where she was going, he had that sinking feeling that this was all a mistake and that Maeri really was gone.

Two years without her taught him a lot of things.

I