It was so beautiful. We were so happy. You were always by my side, smiling eternally, even when you wouldn't let it show. I was always by your side, smiling eternally, I couldn't hide it no matter how much I tried. I was so scared before, so afraid you wouldn't feel the way I did, but you did. You really did. So why did it end up like this? It was so beautiful. So why?

Why did it end up like this?

Everything fell apart. I don't know why it had to. I didn't want it to. I tried so hard to hang on to it, to fix it. It was no use. It all slipped from my grasp. We slipped from my grasp. You slipped away. And I couldn't stop you, no matter how much I wanted to. 

You have the most gorgeous smile. Too good for me, really. Too good for this world. Maybe you knew that. Maybe that's why.

How dare you?

How dare you go after all we went through? After all those happy memories we made? How dare you smudge them like this? How dare you damage me so bad? How dare you make me unable to stop thinking about you? Why can't I stop thinking about you? Why do I still need you so much after all this time? Why can't I let go? Why do I have to?

You're the one who left. You are. I hate you.

I hate you, for breaking away from all those wonderful days of warmth, filled with smiles, sweet treats, careless laughter. All those intimate nights, the close contact, my arms wrapped around you. The arms you left. Why?

I hate you. I hate myself, because it's a lie. I hate you. I wish I did.

You made a fool out of me.

You made me believe that this would last forever. You made me believe you would always be with me. You made me believe I would never be alone ever again. You made me believe I would always be able to see your gorgeous smile. You made me believe this happiness would be eternal. You made me believe nothing could break us apart. Yet you're the one that ended up doing so eventually. 

You made a fool out of me. I was so wrong to believe it all. So wrong. So stupid. Such a fool. 

I was a fool to hold on so tight when I knew I could never keep you with me. I was such a fool for trying so hard to fight for us. For you. For me. Because without you I am nothing. You are my everything. All that's left now is a fool, a lonely, horrible fool. A fool that still can't let you go. Not after a day, a week, a month, a year, not even two. 

Has it really been this long?

Has it really been years since I saw your smile? Has it really been years since I heard your laugh? Has it really been years since I last held you close, afraid to let go? Has it really been years since you slipped from my arms? Has it really been years since you carved your name into my heart? Has it really been years since that day? Has it really been years since you left me here, alone?

Come back. I beg of you. I've begged for so long. But you won't listen.

You won't listen. You can't hear me. You're far away. Too far. So distant I can't even see you. I can't even hear you. 

But what is there to hear? You will never speak to me again. You will never look at me again. You will never smile for me again.

You will never speak again. You will never see again. You will never smile again. 

Please. Talk to me. Look at me. Smile for me. I need it. I need you. Please. 

Come back. Make a fool out of me for believing you're gone. For remembering that day. For thinking of you every day. For thinking you would really leave like that. For thinking anything could separate us. 

Come back. Tell me I'm an idiot. Tell me I should've known you would always be with me. Tell me I should've known nothing could tear you away from me. Not even you. Not even death. Even if it could. Even if it would. Even if it has.

Come back. Show me I'm wrong. Show me you're not gone. Because my heart knows you aren't. You never will be. Even if you are so far, deep in the ground. You'll never leave my side. You'll never leave my mind. You'll never leave my heart. You'll always be a part of me. Even if it was torn out that day. Even if I can never get you back.

I wish you would make a fool out of me. Out of the thought that you're gone. That death took you that day. That no matter how much I held on, you wouldn't come back. I wish you would make a fool out of me. But you won't. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not in a week. Not in a month. Not in a year. Never again. Never.

Please. Come back and make a fool out of me, Wendy. Like you always did. Like I will always want you to. Like you never  will again.