"Dancing"

Time is gonna take my mind
and carry it far away where I can fly
the depth of life will dim
my temptation to live for you

if I were to be alone silence would rock my tears
‘cause it's all about love and I know better
how life is a waving feather

so I put my arms around you, around you
and I know that I'll be leaving soon
my eyes are on you, they're on you
and you see that I can't stop shaking

no I won't step back
but I'll look down to hide from eyes
‘cause what I feel is so sweet
and I'm scared that even my own breath
oh, could burst it, if it were a bubble
and I'd better dream if I have to struggle

so I put my arms around you, around you
and I hope that I will do no wrong
my eyes are on you, they're on you
and I hope that you won't hurt me

I'm dancing in the room
as if I was in the woods with you
don't need for anything but music
music's the reason why I know time still exists
time still exists
time still exists
time still exists

so I just put my arms around you, around you
and I hope that I will do no wrong
my eyes are on you, they're on you
and I hope that you won't hurt me

my arms around you, they're round you
and I hope that I will do no wrong
my eyes are on you, they're on you, they're on you
my eyes…

Tiffany sat in silence as she waited patiently and anxiously. She clapsed her hands together and shut her eyes tightly. She mumbled softly as she prayed to God.

It had been almost 12 hours since she sat quietly with clenched fists and rapid-beating heart which threatened to burst if she continues to wait.

This couldn't be the end. This was not supposed to be like this. She returned because of her. But yet, she was threatening to leave her once more. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked up to the ceiling. God, it was a tormenting wait.

And the silence was deafening. She wished someone would scream at her or even shout; just to break the mode.

Why? Why has it to be so hard?

“Tiffany, how are you holding up, girl?”

Tiffany looked up slowly and met the concerned eyes staring back at her. She shook her head but the other person wouldn't give up on her.

“You need to rest, dear. This is going to take a long time.”

“It's okay, Ma. I...I couldn't.”

“I understand my dear but she's not going to die on us. She's not going to die on you either. I'm so sorry that she broke your heart but yet you love her so dearly. I'd apologize on my daughter's behalf for hurting you so much.”

Tiffany smiled before reaching out for her mother in law's hands. She held them tightly and shook her head profusely. It was never the old lady's fault. She was never a part of this broken relationship.

“Please don't apologize. It's never your fault.”

“I'll scold her once she wakes up. She's so in the wrong for hurting you so much.”

Tiffany nodded and then looked over her shoulder. Another hurting woman sat alone on the bench. That woman was probably listening to her mother in law's words. She could be hurting even more. Tiffany gently rose from her seat and knelt down in front of the other hurting woman.

The woman's eyes were downcast. And she didn't dare to look up.

“Please?”

Tiffany begged. It was difficult for both of them. It was none of their faults. It was her.

“I'm sorry.”

The other woman spoke up first.

“No, please don't apologize for something that isn't even your fault.”

“If it wasn't for me, she wouldn't be in that room. She wouldn't be fighting for her life.”

Tiffany smiled and shook her head.

“You didn't know.”

“If I knew, I wouldn't...”

“I know you wouldn't.”

“Tiffany unnie, please don't leave her. She might seek companionship from me but I know that you've always been on her mind; in her heart. She cares a great deal about you.”

“Yet she started a relationship with you.”

“Perhaps something must have gone wrong.”

“Yes, something has gone wrong. I wasn't there for her anymore.”

“Tiffany unnie...”

“It's the truth, Irene. I wasn't there for her. I was too busy; too caught up with my projects and travelled most of the time. I left her alone and I won't blame her if she chose to stray away.”

“She loves you, unnie.”

“Maybe this love is no longer strong anymore.”

“No, you cannot do this to her.”

Tiffany patted Irene's shoulder before pointing to a direction. There was another hurting woman; stood at the corner of the corridor. Her arms were crossed across her chest as she stared blankly at the front entrance of the operating theater.

Yet, another woman's heart was breaking apart too.

“That's Krystal.”

Tiffany revealed the identity of the second woman.

“She's her best friend. She loves her too.”

Irene's eyes grew larger.

“She knows but yet she takes advantage of it.”

Irene looked down. She stared at the hard cold floor. This was no longer a love triangle. It was a love rectangle. As Irene was confused with the sudden revelation, Tiffany went up to Krystal and stood in front of her. The woman looked on as though Tiffany didn't exist. Her eyes were tired.

“How are you, Krystal?”

“I could have been better if you could treat her well.”

“Are you blaming me for this accident?”

“You could have not taken up the project and stay by her side when she asked you to.”

“She complained to you?”

Krystal looked away; she found out the truth about her best friend's infidelity. So how could she blame Tiffany for this?

“I know she hurt you.”

“It doesn't matter anymore, Krystal.”

“Are you seriously going to leave her?”

“I don't know. This is too confusing.”

Krystal nodded. She peered over her shoulder.

“What's the girl's name?”

“Irene.”

“She's in love with her?”

“I guess so.”

“Is she aware of me?”

“I just told her.”

“She must be shocked.”

“Why, Krystal? Why her? Why can't you fall in love with someone else?”

“I wanted to let her go, honestly. But I failed to do so. Since the day she got married to you, I told myself that I have to let it go but I'm sorry. My heart failed me many times.”

“Then why did you allow her to take advantage of you?”

Krystal bit her lower lip as tears fell from the corner of her eyes.

“Because I've loved her longer than you do.”

Tiffany acknowledged that painful truth. Krystal and her have been best friends since middle school. They spent their time together most of the time. Little Krystal was attached to her becasue her sister happened to be her best friend too. So, the trio were often together; but as soon as Krystal's sister had a boyfriend; Krystal was left with her most of the time.

“Because I love her since then that I couldn't stop anymore.”

“I understand.”

Krystal smiled before she stood on both feet. She stared at Tiffany who was slowly turning weary. Her eyes were painful to look at; her hands trembled so badly. Krystal then slowly glanced down to Tiffany's stomach. The bulging 5 months stomach was slowly getting noticeable. Krystal placed her hand gently on Tiffany's tummy.

“How did you handle this and her being unfaithful to you?”

Tiffany glanced down and placed her hand over Krystal's. She took a deep breath and smiled.

“It's because of this that I keep holding on. I couldn't let go because of this little one. He deserves to know the truth.”

“Are you going to forgive her?”

“I have to. My unborn child needs her.”

“Does Irene know?”

“She has just found out too.”

Suddenly Irene cautiously crept up towards the two ladies. The three of them were hurting over the same person. Irene smiled awkwardly as she placed her hand on Tiffany's tummy as well.

“Little one, please save your Mommy.”

Irene spoke up as the other two were surprised.

“Save your Mommy so that you can reunite your Mama and Mommy together.”

The three women cried openly.

-

Krystal & Her.

“Why are you so mad at me for?”

“I know what you've been doing.”

“What do you mean?”

“You're cheating on Tiffany unnie with some other girl!”

“Huh..? How...how did you know?!”

“I know everything! I saw you with that girl! What were you thinking of?!”

“I don't know.”

“What do you mean by you don't know? You're aware of your affair with that girl, right?”

“I know. But I just don't know why I started the relationship with her.”

“What's wrong with you? What happened to your “forever in love” with Tiffany unnie?”

“She's not around anymore!”

“But that doesn't give you any privilege to cheat on her!!”

“I don't want to! And I was lonely! Irene took good care of my heart when she was away!”

“And so you could break Tiffany's heart just like that?”

“I didn't want to.”

“Stop saying that! I didn't give you up to Tiffany unnie because of this! I put my feelings to a halt for you when you told me you were falling in love with Tiffany unnie! I ing put my love on hold because you chose Tiffany unnie. I was a broken girl but I didn't care because I know you would make a good wife to Tiffany unnie but you failed me this time!”

“I wanted to be a good wife to her, Krystal! But she was so busy with work. She had so many projects for the last 9 months and I hardly see her. I was getting lonely and when I met Irene, I felt different. I got greedy and Irene made me feel good about myself. She loves me. I know I'm insane for saying this to you but Irene makes me feel complete!”

“And Tiffany unnie doesn't?!”

“I thought you dislike her so much. Why are you siding her now?”

“Because I know now she's a better wife who loves you more than you ever loved her.”

“What do you mean? How could you know when I couldn't see it?”

Krystal stood up and grabbed a file from her table. She threw it at her and then stared hard.

“She's trying to get pregnant for you. She's trying to have a child that you wanted so badly. She went through so much just because she wanted to give you a surprise. Can you imagine the shock you have given to her when you told her you don't love her anymore?”

Krystal's words were poison to her.

-

Tiffany & Her

Tiffany's head spun like crazy. Her wife just left the house after she threw the divorce letter in her face. She said she couldn't love her anymore. She said Tiffany was too busy with her work that she didn't have time for her anymore. Tiffany admitted that. They were drifting apart but Tiffany was shocked when she said she has someone else. And she wanted to give that other person a chance to love her.

Tiffany sat at her dining table; staring blankly at the divorce letter. Why? Why did this happen? How could this happen? How did she allow things to escalate till this bad? Her plan of surprise was backfired. She touched her tummy and cried.

“I'm sorry, baby. I'm really sorry.”

Tiffany was 5 months pregnant. Finally she carried her wife's baby in her womb. She knew she was spending too much time away from her wife. And she loves her so deeply. But it was all gone. And she would have to raise the baby herself.

Suddenly the door slammed open and Tiffany looked up, startled. Her wife was at the front door. She was holding on to a file as she stared hard at Tiffany. The pain in her eyes was telling Tiffany that the wife had found out.

“Tiffany...”

Her wife's lips quivered and her voice was shaky.

“My love, Tiffany...”

Why did it hurt so badly to hear those words from her lips?

The wife fell on her knees. She slowly crawled towards Tiffany and when she reached Tiffany's feet; she kissed them. Tiffany was stunned; she couldn't react.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”

She apologized time and time again. But Tiffany remained stoic in her trance. She couldn't say a word. She has lost her voice.

“Why didn't you tell me? Why did you do this without telling me? I've broken your heart, didn't I? I was the one who erred, right?”

The wife looked up at her; her tears fell profusely. Tiffany cupped her palms around her wife's cheeks and stared hard. The angry eyes were replaced with a pair of melancholic and regretful eyes.

“It was meant to be a surprise. I wanted to be pregnant first before I could tell you that we're having a baby. Perhaps I took too long for this miracle to happen.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It's okay. I'm just shocked that I'm no longer in your heart anymore.”

“NO!”

The sudden scream of terror shook Tiffany's senses. The wife grabbed her arms and rose on her knees. She shook her head as her regretful eyes turned to horror.

“No, it's not true. You're still part of me. You still have my heart. I love you. I still love you.”

“But that was not what you said earlier on.”

“Tiffany, please. Please forgive me. Please don't leave me.”

“You wanted to marry that girl you love.”

Tiffany's heart ached but she couldn't take it anymore. Her wife broke her into two. The divorce letter was still on her lap but the wife saw it. She grabbed it and tore the paper into pieces.

“I'm not letting you to divorce me.”

“Why?”

“Not when I know what you did.”

“You can pretend not to know.”

“How can I pretend not to know when you're carrying my baby? How can I do this to you? I feel so mad at myself for hurting you like this. I love you. Deep down inside, I still love you.”

“But you have promised to marry her.”

The wife stopped short. She has forgotten about her promise to the other woman.

“And you cannot break your promise because she loves you.”

“But there's no way I can let you leave me now.”

“I won't stop you if you want to see this baby.”

“NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE APART FROM YOUR OR OUR BABY! TIFFANY, FORGIVE ME! TAKE ME BACK! I LOVE YOU! I PROMISE I'LL NEVER HURT YOU ANYMORE!”

Tiffany cried so badly and it broke her wife's heart further. The wife knew it was her fault.

“I'm not going to let you go, Tiffany. I'll never ever let you go unless death do us part.”

-

Irene & Her

“Why are you looking so serious now? Is everything okay?”

Irene was taken aback to see her girlfriend staring blankly at her. Her warm, gentle and choding girlfriend turned cold overnight.

“Baby? What's wrong? Why are you staring at me like that?”

“I'm sorry.”

The girlfriend finally spoke up.

“What?”

“I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.”

“What do you mean?”

The girlfriend's eyes went teary when she glanced down to Irene's fingers. The wedding band fitted nicely on Irene's finger tore her girlfriend's heart apart.

“I.... I couldn't marry you.”

Irene's mouth was wide open. She frowned as she tried locating her girlfriend's eyes. They refused to meet hers.

“What did you just say?”

“I'm sorry. I cannot marry you.”

“Why? Is there something wrong?”

“I lied about myself.”

“Why? Why did you lie about?”

Irene was getting anxious. She loves this woman so much. She was willing to give up on everything just to be with her and she didn't care if she was ostrasized for being gay. Irene Bae has always thought she was straight until she met her girlfriend. The woman made her felt love like she has never felt before.

“I'm married.”

The bombshell was tremendous. Irene was shocked beyond words.

“I'm married with a beautiful wife who's having my baby right now.”

Double bombshell and Irene's world shook violently. Her heart sank to the deepest pit and Irene knew she was completely losing her last common sense.

“How could you do this to me?!”

“I'm sorry.”

“You're married with a baby coming your way? I thought you said you were living alone!”

“She went for IVF for the last four months and finally got pregnant. She wanted to surprise me but I broke her heart instead. I cannot do this anymore. My wife needs me.”

“I need you too!”

“I'm sorry. I cannot be there for you anymore.”

“I love you for the last four months! Do you think you're being unfair to me right now?!”

“I know I am! But I cannot do this anymore! My wife's love is deeper than the ocean and I.... I cannot hurt her like this. I love her..”

“So you lied about her and told me that she was your ex-girlfriend? I know you love her because I could see it in your eyes every time you talk about her but how could you lie to me?! You're married to her, !”

“I'm sorry, Irene.”

“You think I should forgive you?!”

“I won't force you if you don't wish to forgive me.”

“I'll never forgive you. I'll never forgive you until the day I die!”

“Irene...”

“Maybe... I should die now! So that you can regret for the rest of your life!!!!”

“Irene!”

Irene was momentarily insane. Her deep love was bleeding and she rather die than to live without her girlfriend.

-

Tiffany, Krystal, Irene & Her

“What are you waiting for? Run after her!”

Krystal and Tiffany were sitting two tables away from Irene and her. They were there too. They were there because Tiffany knew something bad would happen. True enough, Irene ran out of the restaurant with a broken heart and she was lost to what she should do.

“Go, run after her. Stop her before she kills herself.”

Tiffany was urging her wife and the wife nodded. But before she took off, she managed a soft kiss on Tiffany's lips and kissed Tiffany's protruding tummy.

“Wait for me. I'll be back soon, baby.”

Tiffany's heart melted and she couldn't let her wife go either. The way she violently tore the divorce letter apart and the way her heart crushed when her wife begged her to stay. She couldn't do it.

“Are you sure about this?”

Krystal asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Are you sure you're going to let her marry that girl and you'll embrace her?”

Tiffany nodded and smiled.

“If she wants to.”

“You're such an idiot.”

“Thank you and now let's go and run after them.”

“Okay.”

Krystal helped Tiffany and they got into the car as well. They saw her car drove off; chasing after Irene. So they in turn got into Krystal's car and went after them as well. But as predicted, Tiffany knew something was going to happen. She just couldn't put the finger to anyone – who would end up getting hurt the most.

Three cars were chasing after one another. It was crazy and almost dangerous. Krystal was more careful because pregnant Tiffany was in her car. But they watched in horror when they witnessed her car spun off around the sharp bend. She couldn't stop in time.

And Irene was staring at her rear view mirrow when she saw her car turned a couple of times before it came into a halt. It rammed into the railing on the side before it came into a standstill.

“YOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Three women screamed in horror.

-

so I put my arms around you, around you
and I know that I'll be leaving soon
my eyes are on you, they're on you
and you see that I can't stop shaking

“Yoona?”

“Shh, go back to sleep.”

“What are you doing?”

“I'm hugging you to sleep.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I'm alright. I just want to hold you. I miss hugging you.”

Krystal smiled as her best friend hugged her tightly. She fell asleep almost immediately.

-

Irene tossed and the bed. Then she felt a pair of warm arms wrapping around her waist. She peered over her shoulder and smiled as she recognized the person hugging her.

“You must be lonely.”

“Not really.”

“Let me hug you like this.”

“Thank you.”

“Go on, sleep.”

Irene nodded and turned back. She felt peaceful and secured with Yoona's arms around her. With Yoona, everything would be alright.

-

Tiffany was feeling lethargic. She has been taking care of her little one since morning. The little tyke was really active and wouldn't sleep until Tiffany rocked him gently in her arms.

“Yoongie, sleep tight now.”

She placed her baby infant next to her. Her lingering kiss on his forehead made the little boy whined in his sleep.

“Aw, I'm sorry. Am I disturbing your sleep?”

She smiled when the little one cuddled closer towards her. He's her everything now. Tiffany was close to concussion since she had stayed up to look after the baby. She was about to get comfortable when she heard someone lulling her to sleep. She smiled as she felt her arms around her waist.

“You're here.”

“Yes, I'm here.”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

“I'm so tired.”

“I'm sorry. I'm here now.”

She cuddled closer.

“I love you.”

Tiffany smiled with that honest declaration.

“I love you so much.”

“I know.”

“I'm hugging you to sleep now. Close your eyes. I'm staying by your side tonight.”

Tiffany nodded and her shoulders felt lighter now. She finally could sleep tonight. The pair of arms held on to her strongly and they felt almost real.

Then a gush of wind blew across her room. A soft whisper lingered in her ears.

“I might be gone but I'll always stay here with you. I'll hold you like this when things get weary and I'll never let you go. Not even when I'm already gone; I'll still find my way back and hold you in my arms like this.”

-

The three women stood smiling at each other. Each with a bouquet of flowers in their arms and a little baby was sleeping quietly in his stroller.

“Did she come and visit you last night?”

Irene spoke up. The other two women nodded.

“She hugged you?”

“Yeah, she did.”

“She was hugging me to sleep last night.”

“Of course she would.”

The three women then turned to face the smiling face on the granite stone. Yoona was smiling at them. Krystal stepped up to the front first. She placed the flowers gently on top of Yoona's grave and smiled widely.

“It has been two months since you left, best friend. And I miss you. I know you're smiling at us from heaven, right? And I heard what you said yesterday night. Don't worry, I'll look after Tiffany and Yoongie for you. Just rest in peace, okay?”

She then took a step backwards before Irene stood in front. She grinned before putting the flowers down. She wiped the dust off from Yoona's photo.

“You don't have to apologize anymore, Yoona. I'm not lonely. Yoongie has been filling up the empty void that you left behind. I'm staying with Tiffany unnie and Krystal. We will help Tiffany unnie to raise Yoongie, okay? So you don't have to worry so much.”

Last but not least, Tiffany finally took her stand. Krystal helped her as Tiffany picked up her baby boy before nestling him gently in her arms. Irene helped with the flowers. Tiffany had so much to say but she could only smile for now.

Yoongie was sleeping soundly. Tiffany glanced down to her son's face and no doubt, she could see Yoona instead. She chuckled softly.

“He's beautiful, baby. He has your everything and sometimes I feel like I'm holding you instead of Yoongie. He's perfect, baby. And he has filled the emptiness in my heart; that empty space you left behind. I'm just sorry that you couldn't hold him but don't worry; you're in my heart so hold him through me, baby. Yoongie knows you love him even before he was born.”

Tears started to fall and Irene wiped them away.

“But I'm glad I'm not alone in raising this child. Your best friend and your girlfriend have become my pillar of strength and we tried to work this out together. They helped me with Yoongie and I'm so glad that we have found an inner peace to keep this love – this love for you from the three of us stronger than before. You're one such lucky woman to have 3 women to love you even after death. And no, we're not blaming you. And we're not mad at you anymore for leaving us behind. I know you tried so hard to survive but God loves you more.”

Krystal took Yoongie from Tiffany so that the woman had own personal time with Yoona. The two women stepped backwards and Tiffany went down on her knees. She caressed Yoona's photo gently.

“Thank you for hugging me last night. I needed you and you came. You always did. I had the best night sleep since you held me tightly. I know you're never far away, Yoona. Live through me and feel my love for you. And I'll let Yoongie feels your love through me.”

Tiffany kissed Yoona's photo.

“I love you, Yoona. We all do. Please, rest in peace.”

-