My Light, My Melody, Byun Baekhyun

Hi reader, I introduce myself as a fan of Byun Baekhyun. I am thankful that you have given time to open this and if you read this until the last word of this long story, then I am forever thankful. I am writing this to show how a person whom I never saw, I never touched and I never knew personally, changed a part of my life. This will be my small birthday present to him for his upcoming birthday. I will really be blessed if he would be able to read this and if not, the feeling will still be the same.

I became a fan of EXO even before they debuted and Baekhyun was not my bias at that time. It was Sehun. Why? It’s because Sehun’s picture was the first member I saw and since I still didn’t know the others, I decided to stick to Sehun. As I knew all of EXO’s members before their debut, my bias was still Sehun. It never changed… until they performed their debut song on stage, MAMA. My eyes immediately searched for Sehun when the music started but I stopped when I heard Baekhyun sing his first lines, the one with the high note (if you know MAMA, by the way). It’s quite absurd because I’ve already heard the song and already watched the MV but in that live performance, there was something in Baekhyun that intrigued me. Instead of watching Sehun in that performance, I watched Baekhyun perform. The feeling when watching him was unexplainable. That’s when I started to take interest in Baekhyun but Sehun was still my bias. In their following performances during MAMA era, there were many times that he makes mistakes in the dance or his voice goes out of tune. But the strangest thing was, he still kept his cool and his eyes were like staring inside my soul when he sang. He was just on my computer screen yet he made me feel emotional. Right then, I thought that he has the most serious character in EXO and all of you know that I’m wrong. It was completely the opposite: he was a quirky, hyper, cheerful, humorous and name-every-positive-trait person. He smiled and laughed a lot, together with Chanyeol whom we all know as the “happy virus” and the other EXO members as well. It’s as if he’s the energy pill of the group. I was really surprised at first, but then I got used to it. I followed EXO to their music career through my computer and Internet and time-to-time, Baekhyun officially became my star bias or more like, I officially declared myself as a Baekhyun stan. It’s silly but hey, I’m only a fangirl :) 

Now going to the main idea of this story, WHY DO I LIKE BYUN BAEKHYUN?

There’s nothing to say, really. I just liked him the day he sang on that live debut performance. It just happened and I didn’t dump Sehun okay? I still like Sehun, I like all of them but I like Baekhyun the most. I’ve said this to some people before, that I didn’t have any much reason why I liked Baekhyun at the first place but I know most people would not understand so I’ll give them my reason.

His cheerful personality always makes me smile and feel giddy every time. I know that EXO feels the same way as well. That smile and quirky remarks can take away my heavy feelings when I have them. Some may say that Baekhyun has an arrogant personality and yes, I also agree but no one is perfect. We all have our dark personalities behind our backs so I really don’t expect people to act nicey-nicey all the time and that’s what I also liked about Baekhyun: He never fails to show what he wants to show or say what he wants to say. Another thing I liked about Baekhyun is that despite his happy exterior, he is still fragile inside. I remember when Luhan told a story about a man who was crying inside a room, realizing that it was Baekhyun and Baekhyun explained that he was so stressed and was upset with himself because he can’t sing well. (It was in EXO SHOWTIME). He never showed his weak side and always smiled for the fans.

But what I liked with Baekhyun the most is that whenever he sings, he’s pouring out all of his emotions may it be a solemn, cheerful or a dance song. For me, his eyes are telling me a story and his voice is oozing with different emotions that I think he wants me to feel when he sings. And it always happens to me. Every time. I remember when I was so sad that I felt like I was nothing and I even tried to commit the “s” word, I shuffled my mp3 to hear songs that could increase my will to do it but then, Baby Don’t Cry suddenly played. I was so emotional at that time, and all I could hear were EXO’s voices, especially Baekhyun’s voice. I didn’t understand the lyrics, but it was like they were telling me not to cry and that everything would be fine. Baekhyun hitting those high notes were like a soothing melody to me, a sweet lullaby that I just cried it all out, never attempting to do the “s” word again. After that, I came back as a better person and also from that day on, EXO’s songs became my inspiration.

Until now, I am here as an active EXO-L. I kind of became inactive as a fan last 2013 since I was focusing on my studies but I am back again. Also, there may be bias wreckers in the group like Chanyeol, D.O., Chen, Tao, or all of them but my heart will always be with Baekhyun. I want him to be happy now, despite of the controversies and issues in their group and his relationship. I do not idolize Baekhyun. I admire him. A LOT. He’s like my role model and again, inspiration together with the whole group. I always wanted to sing like Byun Baekhyun. I always wanted to shine like Byun Baekhyun. I always wanted to see Byun Baekhyun. I always wanted to know Byun Baekhyun more but I know not everything happens but there’s nothing wrong in dreaming, right?

            "Baekhyun-ssi, I know you may not be able to read this but I always wanted to thank you for everything. You became a significant part of my life, in which I never regretted. For being able to share your talent in singing, for being able to give us your warm smiles and love to us, and for being able to be here in this world, I am or we are forever grateful and blessed. I could not do much for you when you face problems in your life but know that there are people who support you no matter what happens and I am one of them. I can only wish you a peaceful and successful journey in the present and future. Thank you for being my light, my melody, Byun Baekhyun."

-I.K.P.