Okay… be confident. Don’t embarrass yourself…

You sighed as you stood at the doorway, trying to gather up courage to enter. Most people would not have as much anxiety as you were feeling at the moment but then again most people were not homeschooled for most of their lives and had never really been to a house party let alone one as big as the first social event of the college year. Part of you resented your parents for being hippies who decided that the education system available to the masses was unsuited for their one and only child. Sure you were literally a child prodigy but growing up it was really lonely. Aside from being the only child, you did not have many friends. It was unfortunate but you were, in fact, socially stunted and a little awkward. On top of that, you were at least two years younger than most of the other students but you made it a point not to bring it up unless absolutely necessary.

You need friends… It’s going to be a long four years…

You were not planning on attending the party but you gave it a second thought and you decided it was an opportunity worth taking a look at least. Perhaps it was partly because it was a masquerade but also it was partly because you somehow received an invitation to it. You had heard a lot about this social event. Hosted by the largest fraternity group in the college, it was invitation only. All fraternities and sororities were invited of course, but outside of that, only a select few were chosen. You were not even sure why you were invited but you were. And it was a masquerade. You decided that since no one would know who you were, it was a good way to establish yourself in this new environment. Luckily for you, you had always been a straight-laced, responsible kid so your parents have cleared you to make your own decisions since leaving for college. It was another one of their hippie philosophies.

Oh God, what should I do…?

You silently made your way into the mansion, slowly, looking around to see if there was anyone who did not seem threatening. Problem was that everyone was in a mask so it was extremely difficult to tell, although most were already mingling. You felt like a tiny fish in a vast ocean. You grabbed a drink from the punch bowl and found a place to sit as you sip on it. One or two people who sat down beside you struck up conversations with you but they were short lived. It was difficult trying to fit in when everyone seemed like they already knew each other. You sighed heavily.

Should I even stay any longer…?

“You’re not thinking about leaving yet, are you?” came a voice from behind you.

Startled, you jumped a little in your seat but pretended you had not and turned to investigate the source of the voice over your left shoulder. There was no one.

What the-?! Great, now I’m hallucinating…

There was a tap on your right shoulder and a chuckle, alarming you once again.

“If you leave now, who’s going to keep me company?” the stranger teased.

You swung your head around to the right to be greeted by a pair of feline eyes and crooked smirk. Even with a mask on, her beauty was evident, given away by her milky white skin, piercing eyes, rosy lips and long, flowing hair that draped her shoulders effortlessly. She was blinding; you were blinded.

“I… I don’t think I’m much of a company anyway,” you responded. Why do you think I’m alone?

“Well I don’t know about that. Perhaps you just haven’t met someone whom you can get along with,” the girl said as she sat herself down beside you and casually slung her arm around your shoulder.

You gulped and fidgeted with your hands in nervousness.

“And… is that person you…?” you asked. You wanted to sound confident but you hesitated. Wit was not exactly your thing.

She leaned in closer and twirled her finger around your hair. “I guess… you’ll just have to stay and find out.”

Okay…

You could not help but avert her gaze. You could feel your cheeks warming up and all you could do was hope that it was not too obvious.

Is she… flirting? Nah, no way. Why would she?

“So…” You really did not know what to say.

“You’re one of the special ones, aren’t you?” she asked, drawing her arm back and slouched back on the couch.

Special? What? How did she know?

“What do you mean?” You honestly wondered what she was referring to. The only thing you could think of was that you were younger than the other freshmen.

She placed her arms behind her head and rested against them. “Oh, you know… not part of a sorority.”

You shook your head. “Nope. I doubt I’d make it into one anyway.”

“Trust me, you’re better off. There are too many rules and such. Be free, my love,” she chortled to herself.

“Does that mean you’re part of one?” you wondered out loud.

“Kind of. Not really by choice though. I’m legacy,” she answered, rolling her eyes at the last word.

“I’m sorry, I don’t really know what that means. Don’t you have a choice?” You knew you probably seemed a little naive but you really had no idea how these things worked.

“It means my mother was one and my elder sister was one, and I’m expected to be one. But… let’s just say I’m a total black sheep. It’s only temporary. I doubt they’d initiate me,” she explained with a shrug.

“That’s their loss then,” you simply commented, although immediately after you realized that you believed it to be true.

“Well aren’t you a toothache?” she smirked.

“So why aren’t you mingling like the rest of them then?”

“I already see those jokers too often.”

“You make a valid point.”

“I know,” she giggled.

You could not help but smile. The girl was just too charming and pleasantly witty. Or maybe it was just that you don’t get out much. Either way it did not matter. You enjoyed her company and she seemed to not dislike you.

“So what’s your story, if you don’t mind me asking? You don’t really have to answer, I just have no filter,” she continued.

“Me? Uhm, I’m just… regular? There’s nothing really outstanding about me.” You wanted to be as honest as possible without having to give away the details that you thought would make you seem odd.

“Are you a rich brat? It’s okay if you are… Actually wait, you don’t seem like one. Or are you?” She cocked an eyebrow. It was hardly visible under the mask but nonetheless you noticed.

You laugh for the first time since you stepped through the door. “No.”

“Are you… famous?”

“Certainly not.”

“A prodigay then.”

“A what?”

“Sorry, force of habit. I meant prodigy.”

“Uhm…” You were not expecting it so you did not know how to respond.

Am I…? I don’t even know…

“Ah, so that’s it. You’re a kid genius.”

“N-No, I’m really not. I just skipped a few grades because I was home schooled,” you blurted and then bit your lip to stop yourself when you realized you had given away a little too much. It was not a big deal but you really did not want anyone judging you because of it. You sighed.

“What’s wrong, kiddo? I hope you don’t mind me calling you kiddo. It’s not condescending I promise. I think it’s cute, befitting of you.”

You probably would have hated it if it was anyone else, but you actually kind of liked it coming from her.

Oh my god, I must be going crazy…

“I… don’t mind it from you,” you admitted feeling slightly embarrassed you actually told her that. “And it’s nothing really. I just don’t like people knowing that about me because they always assume I’m some kind of freak or something.”

She tilted her head to the left and then to the right, and paused. She rubbed her chin and hummed, indicating that she was thinking about something.

“Well kiddo, being normal is overrated anyway.”

“As stupid as it might sound, I just want to be accepted.”

“Fair enough. I can understand that.”

“By the way, I’m-” you started to introduce yourself but she stopped you.

She had placed her finger on your lips and hushed you. “Let’s not.”

“But I was just-”

“It’s more fun this way, kiddo. Trust me.”

“Then… what should I call you?”

“Hmmm, why don’t you choose?

“What about… princess?” you quipped.

“Okay, anything but that… Mind you, you will be calling me that for the rest of the night so choose wisely. No pressure.”

“Right…”

You took a moment to think about what to call her, your eyes scanning her from top to bottom, trying to pick out a distinct feature. You were already typically indecisive so this was literally torture for you.

Just then you noticed the girl tugging on her shirt button gently, probably a habit when she was nervous or bored.

“What about button?” you suggested. But the moment you heard it, you wanted to take it back. It was silly.

“Button? That’s cute, but why?”

“Well… I actually couldn’t think of anything else. But what’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” you replied, hoping that she did not mind it.

“Indeed. Button. I kind of like it.” She smiled and nodded.

You were glad but you were still curious as to why she wanted to use anonymous nicknames instead.

“Why don’t you want to tell me your name? Or at least know mine?”

“You’re not the only one who doesn’t quite like being judged based on one single uncontrollable factor. But also, this way we can keep our anonymity and just speak freely. Don’t you think?”

It only took a second for the logic to sink in but she was quite right albeit a little unconventional. You nodded slowly.

“I guess that is the point of this being a masquerade after all,” you agreed.

“I’m not a dangerous person, I promise. Crazy, yes. Dangerous, no.”

“I wasn’t thinking that,” you chuckled nervously. “And crazy is subjective. Besides, I know how to take care of myself.”

“I do not doubt it, kiddo.” She placed her hand on yours. “Though, you do not need to have your guard up around me because I judge you not for your age nor any other reason.”

You wondered if she was being condescending because many were from your experience. It was one of the many drawbacks of always being the youngest in a group. People would either humor you or were just patronizing. But her tone was neither. It was… sincere and candid. No pretenses, which was ironic considering the situation. People tended to bare their true selves when their identities are masked; she was right about that.

“I really appreciate that. You have no idea how aggravating it can be when people have preconceived notions of you.”

“Oh trust me, I know exactly how you feel. I’ve kind of had that problem my entire life.”

What could she be hiding…?

“Why do people do that? Is it really that difficult to keep an open mind? Even if you don’t agree with someone, you can still try to understand their point of view… or maybe not. I don’t even know what I’m saying right now. I’m sorry, I’m babbling,” you ranted but ended with a sigh.

“People fear the unknown and so they make assumptions. The problem comes when they believe those assumptions to be true. It’s a sad reality but I do not blame anyone. Keeping an open mind is difficult for anyone. Even you and I find it difficult to accept those who do not accept us in return, do we not? But you are right, a little understanding goes a long way.”

Remarkable. She is remarkable.

“You make a valid point. I guess it’s always easier said than done. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, so I really shouldn’t expect anything, should I?” you criticized yourself.

“Are you always this hard on yourself?” she joked.

You had not realized that you were but when you thought about it, it was something you did constantly. You held yourself in the lowest regards. That meant that you believed that you were often the worst and therefore no one should be worse than you. You knew it was illogical to think that way but it was just how you saw yourself.

“Mmmm, perhaps…?” you subtly admitted. “I just… always think I can be better and that I’m never good enough.”

“Interesting… Are your parents strict?”

“No, not particularly. In fact, they are totally lenient and encouraging with everything I do even if they don’t necessarily agree with me. Although, they never did allow me to attend a normal school which was pretty much the only thing I really wanted growing up.”

“What’s it like?”

“What? Being home schooled? Nothing special really. Just awfully lonely. It also explains my social anxiety.”

“I meant having supportive parents.”

You were taken aback. You were not even sure if she was kidding or actually asking a legitimate question. It was not usually a question you were asked.

“I… Well I suppose I’m lucky in that sense. I didn’t quite have to rebel since I really had no reason to. My coming out was also quite interesting.”

“Oh yeah? What happened?”

“Uhm… well when I told them that I could possibly be gay, they told me to make sure to tell them if I ever have company over so they don’t accidentally walk in on me. Also, they asked if I needed them to find someone more appropriate to have the talk with me. And then they told me they loved me. It was awkward to say the least but oddly sweet at the same time.”

“Wow! That’s… definitely something different. My parents are like the exact opposite. Actually, my father hardly gives a about any of his children as long as we don’t embarrass the family name. My mother on the other hand has really strong opinions about everything my sister and I do. My sister doesn’t care much either way so she chooses to please my mother when she can. I, however, am the black sheep… apparently because having an opinion is frowned upon.”

There was a sort of sadness in her voice as she explained her situation. She tried to hide it under the sarcasm but there was certainly disgruntlement as well. You were all too familiar with it.

“And that’s why you’re here…” you said quietly to yourself, although she probably heard you.

“Exactly. But in the end, it’s always a tradeoff. A small price to pay for other more important things to me.”

“The way you put it… I guess I never knew how good I had it. I… I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be. We all have our own struggles but they are what build our character. It is how we deal with adversity that determines who we really are. I love my family, as family goes but I refuse to be bound by that which was determined by those who came before me. No doubt there are perks sometimes and I embrace them but I am my own person just as much as the history that runs through my veins.”

Who… is she…?

She was intriguing to say the least. You had never met anyone quite like her and her mysteriousness was tickling your curiosity.

“I know that we just met and that I don’t actually know you but… you’re amazing,” you blurted out. You felt the need to tell her that and usually you would be too embarrassed to say something like that but not tonight.

She did not reply for a moment but you could swear that she was blushing.

“I’m really not… but thank you. I think you’re awesome too. It’s really refreshing talking to someone who actually has interesting thoughts and doesn’t think my opinions are too pretentious. Now aren’t you glad you stayed?” She grinned, slightly sheepishly.

You looked her in the eye and answered, “I am.”

---

“Wow, okay, so you came home and your parents were… uhm… You caught them in the kitchen? Ohmigod, that must have been so awkward,” she half laughed and half gasped.

“No kidding. I’m totally scarred for life.”

“Wait, when was this?”

“A couple of months ago.”

“That’s… well it’s… sweet that you parents are still so in love…”

“I guess so. I know that technically my parents should be the ones embarrassed but really I was way more embarrassed. What about you? What was your most embarrassing moment?”

“Okay, promise not to judge?”

“I won’t.”

“Swear it.”

“Okay, okay. I swear.”

“So, needless to say I was a totally rebellious kid. I just wanted to piss my parents off really but at the time it just felt good to be bad. Anyway, I snuck out to a party with my first boyfriend and at the time I was a freshman in high school and he was a senior. I thought I was so badass. I had had a few drinks that night and he was kind of pressuring me to make out with him. I was young and stupid so I thought why not but as we were making out… well… I threw up on him. It was bad. I was drunk but not drunk enough not to feel totally embarrassed. As it turned out, he was a total . He dumped me on the spot saying that he knew he shouldn’t have dated a freshman. I didn’t want to stay any longer so I had to hitch a ride home from someone else and, of course, I got caught so I was grounded. And worse, he had told all his friends about it and I found out that he had hooked up with some other girl after I left. I’m such a cliche.”

“No, you’re not. He’s a real prick.”

“Yeah. Although I guess I was lucky I got out early.”

“I would never do that to you…” you mumbled to yourself unconsciously.

“Of course you wouldn’t. You’re a sweetheart.” You had not meant for her to hear your comment but she did and she reached out and brushed her hand against your arm.

Electric.

Wha-...What’s happening…?

It was utterly perplexing. You were not sure what exactly was happening nor what it was that your were feeling but it felt like butterflies fluttering around in the pit of your stomach. But the biggest question was whether this was her normal behavior or is there something happening between the two of you. The thing is, you were so sure, beyond positive that she was not interested in you that way. She was straighter than a ruler. Though, your mind was clouded. You were intoxicated but not by drugs or alcohol. No. It was her.

“I, uhm… well that’s just no way to treat anyone.”

She seemed amused at what you said. “I take it that you’ve never dated someone who treated you badly.”

“Truth… I’ve never had one, any.”

“I see. Honestly, in retrospect, I wish I’d never had any either. I always attract the worse ones.”

“Were they really that bad?”

“Well, you know they all seem nice in the beginning. After that first one, the second one was extremely controlling, the third one was emotionally abusive, the fourth one was a cheater, the fifth one only wanted to get in my pants and the sixth one didn’t even like me, he was just using me.”

“That’s… quite a list. You definitely deserve better than that. Are you dating anyone at the moment?”

Please say no.

“He dumped me on graduation day because he wanted to be free to hook up with anyone in college,” she scoffed.

“Why did you stay with him if you knew he didn’t even like you? Actually… I’m sorry. Am I stepping out of bounds by asking such a personal question?”

You had been talking to her for a while now and the conversation had gradually gotten deeper and more personal for two people who had only just met. But aside from her name, she had no qualms revealing her history or opinions. It was a first for you to connect so easily with someone but you just went with it.

“I don’t really mind. Just you. This is all between us, okay? Anyway, he may not have loved me but I loved him. I’ve always been an idiot when I’m in love. I had believed that he would change. That perhaps if I loved him enough, he would realize it and love me back the way I wished he would. But alas, I should have known that it was just wishful thinking.”

“I’ve never been in love but I can imagine myself being the same way. Although I never quite understood the idea of being in a relationship if both parties are not in love with each other, I can tell that if I really loved someone, I would probably be completely stupid and blinded.”

As those words escaped from your lips, you knew that they were true.

“Oh kiddo, I pray that you won’t have to suffer as I have. A gentle heart like yours is rare and I hope it will stay that way.”

---

“No way! Classic is totally better, like in Interview with the Vampire or Dracula. They are more enigmatic and so charismatic,” she insisted.

“But don’t you think the modern depiction is so much cooler? The vampires are always beautiful and their skills or powers are way more interesting,” you voiced your opinion emphatically.

“You’re tripping. The point of vampires is not to go all guns blazing and shining like diamonds. They are meant to be mysterious and hypnotic. They lure you in with their charms and boom, you become their victim,” she retorted.

“But that’s so cliche and outdated. Actually I have nothing against it but these days, no one can pull that off. The current versions at least provide some form of entertainment.”

“Okay, true, these days it’s difficult to find actors who can provide the characters with enough personality to engage the audience but that doesn’t mean that the old versions are inferior. Besides, it’s not cliche and outdated, it’s classic and timeless,”she smirked.

You dropped your head and decided to concede. “Fine… you win. But you got to admit Alice from Twilight is hot.”

She laughed. “Yes she is. I admit it.”

You laughed as well. You liked that she had a good enough sense of humor that even in an argument, although it was about vampires in fiction, she was calm and did not take it too seriously. You despised people who get overly emotional in arguments and you were gracious enough to accept the other person’s points when they were clearly true.

“I think I’m going to get a drink. Would you like one?” you offered.

“Yes, thank you. Although… stay away from the punch bowl. If you can, get something with a seal,” she warned.

You did not need her to explain further to know what she meant. “Yes, that would be wise. I’ll be right back. Please don’t disappear.”

“I make no guarantees,” she chuckled.

You really hoped she was kidding about that because you were really enjoying your conversation with her. You quickly scurried off to grab some drinks.

God, I hope she doesn’t leave. I really like her…

You grabbed two bottles of water and a can of soda because you were not sure what she preferred, and made your way back. Just then you overheard a few people gossiping about something. You usually did not care much for that type of thing but they were not exactly being discrete about whatever they were talking about.

“Woah, are you serious? Dude, her family is hella rich.”

“Everyone knows that but no one has seen her or know who she is.”

“She’s probably some snooty brat who wouldn’t come to these sort of parties anyway.”

“I heard she came by and left almost immediately.”

“I’m not surprised. People like her don’t mingle with people like us.”

“Yeah, she’s too good for us.”

You decided you had heard enough. You had no idea who they were talking about but you thought they were extremely rude and what they said about someone they did not even know was completely uncalled for. However, it did leave you with the question of who was this important person they were talking about.

Oh crap, button…

You hurried back to where you had left her only to find her gone. Your heart sank a little. You were so disappointed. You knew it would happen and it was not a surprise if you were being honest. You sighed and collapsed back into your seat.

Okay… well I guess now I really have no reason to stay…

You got up and slowly made your way to the door. It was fun while it lasted but you really wished that you knew who she was. It would have been nice if you could look her up again.

“Where are you going, kiddo?”

You almost did not believe it. You whirled around and there she was; she was still there.

“You… I… I thought you’d left.”

“No, you silly. I just had to use the little girls’. I’m sorry, I thought I’d get back before you.”

“I was just about to leave because I thought there really wasn’t any reason to stay,” you admitted.

She grinned and pinched your cheek lightly. “Aren’t you the cutest thing? I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”

You could not believe how kind the heavens were being to you tonight.

“So… are we staying?” you asked, wondering if she still wanted to talk.

“Hmmm… we could… or we could go to your place.”

“Wha-What?”

“You live the dorms?”

“Y-Yeah…”

“Let’s go. I don’t think I’m up for socializing with anyone else anyway.”

“Uhm… okay.”

You did not protest, why would you? Your mind frantically thought over whether or not your room was presentable.

Damn, there are still boxes everywhere.

“So, I should tell you-” You were about to warn her about your messy room when she interrupted.

“Hey, do you have a roommate?”

“No, why?”

“Just curious. How did you get so lucky?”

“I’m not sure. But I think it may have something to do with me being younger; one of the very few perks I guess.”

“I see.”

You wanted to tell her about your room again but she tilted her head up to the sky and started humming a familiar tune.

Oh! I know this song. It’s… Vincent… Starry Starry Night…

And then she started singing.

“Starry, starry night

Paint your palette blue and gray

Look out on a summer's day

With eyes that know the darkness in my soul

 

Shadows on the hills

Sketch the trees and the daffodils

Catch the breeze and the winter chills

In colors on the snowy linen land

 

Now I understand

What you tried to say to me

And how you suffered for your sanity

And how you tried to set them free

 

They would not listen, they did not know how

Perhaps they'll listen now

 

Starry, starry night

Flaming flowers that brightly blaze

Swirling clouds in violet haze

Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue

 

Colors changing hue

Morning fields of amber grain

Weathered faces lined in pain

Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand

 

Now I understand

What you tried to say to me

And how you suffered for your sanity

And how you tried to set them free

 

They would not listen, they did not know how

Perhaps they'll listen now

 

For they could not love you

But still your love was true

And when no hope was left in sight

On that starry, starry night

 

You took your life, as lovers often do

But I could've told you Vincent

This world was never meant for

One as beautiful as you

 

Starry, starry night

Portraits hung in empty halls

Frame-less heads on nameless walls

With eyes that watch the world and can't forget

 

Like the strangers that you've met

The ragged men in ragged clothes

The silver thorn of bloody rose

Lie crushed and broken on the snow

 

Now I think I know

What you tried to say to me

And how you suffered for your sanity

And how you tried to set them free

 

They would not listen, they're not listening still

Perhaps they never will”

-Don Mclean

You were in awe. Not only was she intelligent, witty, insightful, and most probably gorgeous, she was also talented.

Is there anything bad about her?

You watched as she sang her heart out like no one was listening. As she entered the chorus, she took your hand and twirled you around. You giggled. She gestured for you to join her and initially you were hesitant but then you decided that the night was too wonderful and you were fearless. So you joined in. And she pulled you closer, took your arms and wrapped them around her waist, and slung hers around your neck, gently swaying as you both sang. Any other night, this might all seem weird but not tonight. Tonight was a dream.

“You didn’t tell me you could sing,” she complimented you when the song ended.

“I . But you… ohmigod your voice is amazing.”

“Oh please, you flatter me, my dear.”

“I don’t lie. So…”

“Stop making me blush, you little flirt,” she nudged you gently.

I-I’m a flirt…?

You did not know how to respond so you just kept walking and pretended not to hear what she said.

Am I really a flirt?

You did not even know that you knew how to flirt. This is the first time in your entire life that you feel so strongly about someone but it just seemed too crazy because you barely knew her and you did not even know who she was.

It’s probably just infatuation.

It was the first time someone was paying this much attention to you and even more remarkably it was someone that you could connect with. This was possibly the best night of your life. Even if the night ended right then and there, you would still be contented.

You mind was starting to drift into thought when she ran past you like a little kid and hopped onto the elevated part of the sidewalk, doing the balancing act.

“Would you hold my hand?” she asked but you were not paying attention.

“Hmmm?” You turned to look at her.

She held out her hand to you and pouted.

“I picked the right nickname for you,” you told her as you reach out to take her hand.

“Why is that?”

“Because you’re cute as a button.”

For whatever reason, she lost her balance but you managed to catch her.

“Look what you did,” she accused you.

“What did I do?”

“You made me weak at the knees,” she giggled.

You laughed along. If anyone saw the two of you, they would surely think you were inebriated. But neither of you had anything alcoholic to drink. This was definitely not typical of you but you did not hate it. She somehow managed to bring it out of you.

“Well, well. You girls seem to be having a lot of fun. Would you mind if we joined you?”

You had not noticed but a group of three boys had approached you.

“Actually, we do mind,” she answered.

“Okay, we did ask politely. You didn’t have to be so rude.”

“Oh, I apologize. I meant… bugger off.”

“What’s your deal? You on your period or something?”

“No, I’m just a . So why don’t you boys just take a hike.”

“Guys, I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to be rude but we’re just heading back to our dorm, okay?” you stepped in to mediate the situation.

“You es think you’re all that? Why don’t you stop hiding behind those masks and let’s see.”

One of the guys reached towards her in an attempt to unmask her but she kicked him in the groin instead, leaving him collapsed in agony on the ground.

“Back off, .”

Oh God, this is getting out of hand.

“What the ! Oh, you are going to get it now!”

Things had escalated quickly even though you had hoped it would not. Lucky for you, you knew a thing or two about protecting yourself. Before the boys could even react, you had punched one in the throat and kneed the other in the crotch as well. You grabbed her hand and ran, pulling her along with you.

“I’m really sorry!” you shouted as you made a beeline for the dorm.

“Ohmigod, you were totally badass,” she said the moment you made it to the dorm.

You both took a minute to catch your breaths. And then you burst out into laughter.

“You're crazy, you know that? Absolutely crazy,” you told her.

“I told you I’m crazy… Are you regretting bringing me here now?”

“Nope. Not at all.”

You snuck her to your room quietly, unsure of why you brought her back with you in the first place. You probably just did not want the night to end.

“Okay, so I meant to tell you earlier that my room is still in a bit a mess,” you finally warned her.

“It’s alright.”

You let her in and clear as much of the mess you could.

“Can I ask you something?”

“You just did,” she joked. “Shoot.”

“Why did you want to come back with me?”

She did not answer immediately. Instead she walked around your room, looking at your stuff.

“So this is you, huh?”

She had found a picture of you with your parents on your desk.

Ah crap. I’ve been exposed.

“Oh, uhm… yeah. I guess there’s no point in me keeping this mask on.” So you took off your mask.

“You’re gorgeous, you know that?”

“I… I’m not. Will you not show me who you are?”

“I’m thinking about it. I’m sorry if it seems unfair but despite what I seem to be, I’m actually really insecure about identity,” she confessed.

“It’s okay. I understand. Would you at least tell me your name?”

“Perhaps before I leave. If you still want to know it by then.”

“Okay. You still haven’t answered my question though.”

“Truth? I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing. I really enjoyed our time and I really like you. I guess I just wanted more time?”

You really did not think that she would actually say that.

“But why? There’s nothing special about me.”

“You are to me.”

You really wanted to tell her that you felt the same way but you were terrified at where the conversation was leading. The fact that you were not even sure what it was that you were feeling made it all the worse. Intrigue? Awestruck? Attraction? You decided to just change the subject.

“So what do you want to do now? Want to watch a movie?”

She nodded. “Sure.”

“Hmmm… Princess Bride?”

“Ohmigod, I love that movie!”

“Me too! It has a little bit of everything; adventure, comedy, romance…”

She turned the lights off whilst you set up the movie on your laptop, and the both of you made yourselves comfortable on your bed. Throughout the movie, she shifted from sitting beside you to leaning her head on your shoulder to lying with her head on your lap. She fell asleep before the movie was over but you did not want to wake her up. At one point you were tempted to take her mask of but you decided to respect her. You just brushed her hair gently as she slept and finished the movie on your own.

“Oh, hey kiddo… Is the movie over?” she asked as she woke up.

“Yeah. I didn’t want to wake you.”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think I would fall asleep.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t mind.”

“I guess I should go.” She got up and stretched herself out.

It was inevitable and you knew it. She had to leave some time but you did not think it would feel this sad letting her go.

Why am I even sad? It’s not like she’s going away forever. I’m being weird.

“Uhm… it’s pretty late. Is it safe to go back on your own?” you asked.

What on earth am I trying to do?

“It should be fine. Even if you wanted to walk me back, I won’t let you for the same reason.”

“I was actually… You should spend the night. Uhm, I mean just sleep over, you know? Nothing more. I mean… I’m not trying anything, I promise. I’ll sleep on the floor if you want…” you started the ramble.

“Kiddo.”

“Yeah…?”

“Shut up.”

She closed the gap between the two of you, cupped your face and pressed her lips gently against yours giving you a light kiss.

But the kiss left you so shocked that you just continued rambling. “You just… I… Uhm, yes, you can take the bed and I’ll sl-”

She kissed you again.  This time you kissed her back, nervously. She did not know it but it was your first kiss. One that counted anyway. There were so many thoughts running through your head.

What am I doing? What is she doing? She did say she liked me… but what kind of like? Am I thinking too much? Where is this even going? Ohmigod, she’s such a good kisser. Her lips are so soft… Could she just be experimenting?

You pulled away abruptly at that thought. If that was the case, you were not sure if you could take the heartache when she realizes that she just a straight girl having some fun.

“Is something wrong?” she asked.

You were still trying to make sense of it all. You looked into her eyes, hoping to find some answers.

“I’m sorry… Do you want me to leave?” she asked again.

You were definitely scared but the thought of letting this moment go scared you even more.

“No,” you replied. “Please, stay.”

You took a step closer to her and reach towards her mask. You were about to take it off but she placed her hands over yours. You could feel them trembling slightly.

“I won’t if you don’t want me to,” you promised her.

She thought about it for a second and then she removed her hands, a sign to tell you that she was letting you unmask her. You did not really have any expectations but even in the dark of the night, she was beautiful, absolutely beautiful. You were not quite sure why she was trying to hide her face but you did not question it.

“You’re beautiful,” you told her, placing a kiss on her cheek.

And then you gathered all the courage you had and wrapped your arms around her waist, and initiated a kiss for the first time in your life. She did not hesitate to kiss you back, slowly walking you back to your bed, and then everything became a blur.

---

When you woke up the next morning, flashes of events of the night ran through your memory even before you opened your eyes. The only thing you could not quite remember was when exactly you fell asleep because you remembered that she was still kissing you when the sun rose.

Button…

You realized that you still did not know her name and then you realized…

Your eyes shot open and frantically searched for her. She was gone.

No!

You pulled yourself out of bed, a sadness running through you. You found a note on your desk.

“My kiddo,

I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye. I’m really truly sorry. I just want you to know that last night meant something to me, it wasn’t a passing phase. But I need to figure some stuff out and I was too embarrassed to face you. I’m sorry, I’m a coward. We’ll meet again when the time is right, I’m sure. You’re amazing.

Love,

Your button”

 

And just like that, she was gone and the best night of your life ended.